If you thought regular Monopoly lasted forever...

Starting work on a historical fiction novel is basically just making a bet with yourself that Robert Harris won't beat you to it.

My girlfriend: Romania sounds like they're going to be halfway between Avril Lavigne and Billie Eilish. Me: not listening to the song because I've got the phrase 'Bovril Lavash' stuck in my head. My girlfriend: 😠

Having just finished it for the first time, I 100% slept on Gravity Falls, and that's my bad. I am convinced that if this show had existed in my formative years it would have changed something deep in how my brain works. Absolute 10/10, no notes.

Who used their cursed monkey's paw to wish that Wes Streeting would no longer be Health Secretary?

Sign me up, fucknuts.

If you're wondering whether you should enter this, you should enter this.

Civic duty done. Time to get out my favourite polling day pic.

Not even the costume. Just Brian Blessed, hollowed out like an Iron Man suit.

It would be the first time in a long time that Rudy Giuliani has been described as 'stable'.

Just knowing that Jared Leto is in this makes me less excited for it, and it didn't look great to begin with. He's the AI of actors. Knowing it's part of a film's creative output makes me doubt every decision the filmmakers made, except Claude has never been credibly linked to a weird sex cult.

I'm watching the last minutes of the Artemis II landing on YouTube, and the top recommendation in my algorithm is footage of the Challenger disaster, which is... not really the vibe, thanks?

'In other news, man standing next to fire claims to have just been out walking his matchbook.' Jesus Christ, BBC.

Whole-ass movie series about why this is a bad idea.

Erm, they're called palaeontologists, actually.

My girlfriend and I went visit to my home town yesterday, and I completely forgot it was Easter Saturday (with its accompanying annual weirdness) until we saw two of the Coconutters crossing the road. Getting jumpscared by a Morris dancer in blackface was not the least stressful start to her trip.

I posted this for Superman back in 2024 and I can't believe I missed the plot summary by one whole film.

I've been watching a bunch of old musicals recently, and my one takeaway is that -- without exception -- this dream ballet could have been an email.

To all my trans brothers and sisters: Looking fly, 10/10, no notes. You should be visible more often.

Why would I possibly care about social issues when I can just focus on what it would be like to grow vegetables in my own faeces? This is not a post about Andy Weir.

If you want me to buy into the whole Death of the Author thing, the Author in question needs to uphold her end of the bargain first.

While we're all looking at Emily Gregory winning an election on Trump's literal doorstep as important for democracy and presaging a future Blue Wave, I'd like to remind people to take a moment and not to lose sight of the other half of the story. It's also just really, REALLY funny.

For some reason, the news media keeps portraying the story as 'Alan Ritchison engages in brief on-the-street fight with neighbour' and not 'Man has reputation damaged by public Reacher round.'

Your Song, by Elton John. It's shit. It's always been shit. The fact that there's an in-universe interpretation where the lyrics are supposed to be shit does not make them less shit.

'What's your policy on gratuities?' 'Strictly no tips.'

Every now and then, when it's late at night and I'm struggling to come up with a character name that fits perfectly so I can finally move on with my plot, I'm reminded that the producers of Fireman Sam called this stone-cold queen Bella Lasagne and that nothing we do matters.

I'm not really a Let's Play guy (or much of a gamer in general), but an hour of watching someone suck at Pikmin 1 so hard just made me stress-buy Pikmin 4.

'From now on, tapas will be known as Freedom Bites. Thank you for your attention to this matter!'

'I wanted this to be professional, efficient, adult, cooperative. Not a lot to ask. Alas, your Mr. Takagi did not see it that way, so he won't be joining us for the rest of his life.'

ATTENTION MASTER FANS: I'm working on a top-secret project and I need a check from people who know their Classic Who. To what extent is the Ainley Master similar in personality to Delgado's version? Like, is he mostly just a recast after Delgado died, or is he his own thing with a similar beard?

Bad news: Baby Globe is in the Epstein Files.

Listening to everyone else's interview: Wow, it's genuinely fascinating to get an insight into what was going on with everyone else's creative process. What a fantastic idea! Listening to my interview: Good GOD, that's what I sound like to other people? Burn it. Burn it to the ground.

'I still do, but I used to, too.'

I understand I'm not the most well-versed in what's going on in the Whoniverse, but I still feel like someone should have prepared me for the Jacob Dudman jump-scare that is the new Scrubs trailer. How is THIS how I find out?

Couldn't be more impressed with @bigfinish.bsky.social Short Trips: Impeccable and Other Stories. A marvellous boxset with *all* 6 stories being uniquely experimental in different ways. Hats off to the entire cast and crew involved! #DoctorWho

Anyone who's ever put Smells Like Teen Spirit on a playlist needs to shut the fuck up about not being able to understand Bad Bunny.

Psst. Hey. People. I'm in this. If you liked The World Tree and the Sad Space Nan... well, it's a very different vibe this time around. But still good! Yeah. Still good.

I mean, technically speaking the Beatles also had four dicks, so...

In my continued efforts to drive my YouTube recommendations algorithm into an existential crisis, tonight I stumbled across Bowling For Soup's album of officially-endorsed lullaby covers and have not stopped listening for over an hour.

Someone let me write a remarkably dumb comedy for Doctor Who, and then they went and made it sound... really good? Witchcraft, surely?

#GotCock #1: THE PLEASURE GARDEN Considering it's a century old, it feels surprisingly racy... if you're willing to overlook some melodramatic plot decisions and the whole casual colonialism bit, that is. That said, it's almost 100% the Virginia Valli show. (The remainder goes to Cuddles the Dog.)

So after last year's #GotWoody Woody Allen complete watch (which was... a lot), this year I've decided I'm doing the complete Alfred Hitchcock. By almost complete coincidence, today is the hundredth anniversary of the premiere of his first film, The Pleasure Garden.

I don't want to overhype this collection, but if you're looking for an Ocean's Eleven-style bootstrap-paradox time-travel buddy-movie heist-caper comedy (except there's only two of them and one is a head in a box), you could do a lot worse. Probably. It doesn't feel like a crowded field.

New #DoctorWho author! Luke Hollands has won this year’s Paul Spragg Memorial Short Trip Opportunity. His wonderful story “The Wednesday That Wasn’t” features the Thirteenth Doctor, is read by Clare Corbett, and will be released by Big Finish in December. www.bigfinish.com/news/v/2025-...

I have done too much writing and researching in one day, and now it is one o'clock in the morning and I am alone in the house and I have THE MADNESS.

There were two big influences on my sense of humour growing up: Mel Brooks, and Tom Lehrer. If you've ever laughed at one of my jokes, thank Tom Lehrer. If you've ever rolled your eyes (more likely), blame him. All this is his fault.

In his first edict, Chicago-born #Pope Leo XIV announces that the sacramental wine will be replaced with #Malort.

If you're on the fence about entering: trust me, you should enter. Good things happen when you do.