If anyone calls me a "white" to my face I will not be answerable. Apart from anything else I'm a fetching shade of pink. Tuscan almost. Or "antique brick" or something.

- Oi you, cant! You lookin at my fackin verve or wot? - I would if you had any you muppet

BBC couldn't get copyright permission to play the Horst Wessel Song.

The BBC commentary is all about how Arsenal are "managing the game" with "tactics" such as ... fouls. Butterfly meme: is this ... cheating?

Okie doke pusspuss

A lovely ancient etymology is that Akkadian had the word unnedukku for 'letter' (the kind you send), borrowed from Sumerian – not a Sumerian word, but rather a phrase meaning 'may you say to them'. It was a common initial request to a fellow scribe, for them to read out the letter to its recipient.

Pure villainy www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Lads I'm happy for you. But if you're driving round wood green beeping your horn because arsenal won the league then maybe revisit your life choices

Billionaire tech bros hate this one weird trick which is JUST USE BING IM AS SURPRISED AS YOU ARE

Bit presumptuous of Chelsea fans to have their parade through London *before* the cup final

Amazing that they've scheduled a racist march at the same time as a Chelsea match

Ridiculous. Dogs can't even stand in elections

Couldn't find a Russian flag

(honestly) thinking out loud: what if all the other parties boycotted Makerfield as undemocratic? Esp Reform.

Wes Streeting is going to be great in the next series of Strictly

BREAKING: Reform UK leader Nigel Farage bought a £1.4 million property in cash shortly after receiving a £5m personal gift from billionaire donor Christopher Harborne, according to property records seen by Sky News.

Tonight’s stalemate

Heated Rivalry at No 3 seems a bit high

Archangel. Iykyk

Night of the Long-Baileys

CWACO

I feel obliged to mention that Catherine West is a close protégée of noted election-winning yet now-former Labour leader Mr Jeremy W Corbyn

My cousin's wedding reception is pkaying "You Can Go Your Onw Way". 🥶

The Lib Dems took every single seat in Richmond: www.theguardian.com/politics/ng-...

This is just a polite version of Reform's threats and shouldn't be acceptable

Very quietly, secretly, to myself: cmon the Arse

Tv pitch: Stella Street Moscow edition in which John Sessions plays Michael Caine playing Orban and the other guy plays Mick Jagger playing Assad in a suburban cul de sac in Russian exile

So yes Forest were battling against relegation and yes they went away to Sunderland on a Friday night and won 5-0 as the visitors. But ask yourself this: do they really deserve to stay up? Have they earned it? I'll wait

On the contrary they understand only too well what it is and how it is designed expressly to constrain Russian expansionism

tfw your dataviz experiments end up looking like a noughties album cover

Youth

For a man who is understandably cross about being sacked, this is amazingly supportive of Starmer from Robbins:

@es.seand.me.uk oye tío ¿qué tal ?

Spurs are at such a low ebb that arsenal are now better at spursing than them

When Olly Robbins gets his seat in the lords I will vote reform in every vote ever after

BREAKING: Top foreign office civil servant Sir Olly Robbins is leaving his post. Understand that Keir Starmer and Yvette Cooper have lost confidence in him after he failed to tell PM & No 10 that Peter Mandelson failed security vetting.

Because of woke

In LTN news the hairdresser just outside the LTN which is visible from the big main road and where it is not totally impossible to park has closed and moved to the local high street within the LTN where apparently all the businesses would be destroyed

Narrator: The UK is so desperate for energy that we are having to pay consumers to use electricity so the surplus doesn't break the grid

Finding The Guardian updates on Hungary very useful- www.theguardian.com/world/live/2...

One. Three. Five.

first partial results are in on Guardian Hungarian election liveblog: www.theguardian.com/world/live/2...

Hormuz latest:

Wikipedia app's 'picture from previous page in browsing history' bug is playing a blinder today

Mate you had one job. And it wasn't getting Putin's puppet "elected" in Hungary

JD Vance: "I think this comes from a legitimate misunderstanding. I think the Iranians thought the ceasefire included Lebanon, and it just didn't. We never made that promise, we never indicated that was gonna be the case."