Zelda: Hail, fair adventurer. And who might you be? Link: HYAA HRRRRUAHHH YAAAAAAH *breaks all the pottery and starts scrounging for spare change on the floor* Zelda: Jesus Christ.

Watched the new Naked Gun for the second time and the Pamela Anderson jazz scene is still amazing

'Four cones wins, but in order to get a cone you have to build a civilization. Which is where the spirit cards come in'

Whenever I see the tide turning against a popular actress I wonder which powerful man she turned down

It's a great cosmic joke that neurodivergence both runs in families and gets diagnosed based on parent reports. I was diagnosed at 30 because a man who has eaten potatoes every day for 57 years and a woman who collects loose buttons decided I was a perfectly normal child.

This has to be the greatest day of Martin Scorsese’s life

At a family wedding, my uncle was making introductions to the distant relatives. One cousin wore a red dress, my uncle says "and this is Aine, as you can see, she eats Special K"

Rookie numbers

Ok I’m poolside at a beautiful hotel in Puerto Rico and I could swear that their poolside playlist has The Disintegration Loops low in the mix

happy Partially Muscled Skeleton Stands by the Perimeter Fence and Screams for Thirty Seconds Before Vanishing day

I’ve written another romcom! It’s about two scriptwriters who can’t stop arguing but have to work together to save a TV show. Also there is kissing. I loved writing it and you can pre-order it here! linktr.ee/LoveSceneAnn...

My wife and I have been together 24 year so of course we met under the shadow of 9/11

When I hear that a couple has been together for 40 years I imagine them meeting at a sock hop or something but they actually met in San Junipero

aesthetically horrible yes, but fascinating on an anthropological and cultural level - to an American, there is nothing more worthy of contemptuous dismissal than a burger that turns out to be nothing

big FOMO when i skipped a $20 Cindy Lee show in BK last year ish. Diamond Jubilee is the fucking best. this write up of Lee's recent show in Chicago is absolutely stunning work @ninacorcoran.bsky.social what incredible music writing. you glitter. ty for transporting me pitchfork.com/thepitch/cin...

Worth noting that Elon Musk is not a trillionaire, he *could become* a trillionaire if he carries out a number of impossible tasks within a timescale that is barely feasible. It's branding. He slipped from being #1 to #2 richest man in the world and he can't live with himself. This is his lollipop.

People are watching videos on their phones with no headphones on FLIGHTS now? FLIGHTS IN THE SKY?? what are we doing here

Hearing reports that President Trump of the United States has put up a neon This Must Be The Place sign in the Oval Office

Cool photo I took a few seconds after waking up when Joe Camel hit me with his car

I love that Mamdani is what the right claimed Obama was: A Muslim socialist born in Africa. The right practically manifested Mamdani into existence.

really hope this is the last time this photo and the word 'bloodbath' share a headline

I got to fulfil a lifelong ambition of handing a large novelty cheque to a charity today. It felt good, need to chase that high and hand out large novelty cheques on the reg now

the downside is I’m devastated that we can no longer use this tweet, which was one of my favourites

I hope this book has this level of political analysis by @jaseomcn.bsky.social

Finally I can announce it: in January 2026 I will be launching Mr. Rachel for Bigs

So much of the centrist approach to politics has devolved into "How do we trick people into supporting us like the right has done?" where talking sincerely about policies that might help ordinary people's lives is for naïve schmucks who don't understand the glorious theatre of it all

The billionaires can buy the newspapers and buy social media and buy attack ads, but they can't buy their way out of how much we fucking hate all of them.

The "why do you care so much about the NY mayoral election" takes strike me as pretty obtuse. The world's sole superpower is being taken over by fascists, and this was part of the struggle to define what the opposition to that will look like. That obviously has major implications for all of us?

For what it's worth, I don't think the message of Mamdani's win is 'run socialists everywhere'. It's 'run people everywhere who fit their specific place and have the knowledge and instincts to make persuasive progressive arguments relevant to that place'.

Tonight's even more proof the mainstream reporters who are still on Twitter are suffering from a brain problem akin Havana Syndrome that is preventing them from accurately doing their jobs. They are being cooked alive by a snuff-focused apartheid algorithm.

Oh, Dick Cheney died? Well-- *sees Bluesky mod around corner* What's really important is championing the open protocol.

Far Right Loon: I hate you and want to kill you Simon Harris: Ok, so here's how a vote for Fine Gael can help you get what you want

Went back and caught up on a couple of months of Swanboy yesterday. It was a good time

Forgot that punchbowl was some kinda news site so for a few seconds I thought wow that must have been a pretty crazy accident

Bluesky for the next 48 hours

BREAKING: Andrew Cuomo has been endorsed by The Ass-To-Ass Guy

The only “honest conversation about immigration” would state that there is no solid ground for saying that immigration in Ireland is too high and only the prejudiced would make such a claim

"YOU'RE TRYING TO SHUT DOWN DEBATE ON IMMIGRATION" If your standard of debate on immigration leads to IPAS centres being set on fire with people inside, then yes, I am trying to shut down your debate on immigration.

Ireland’s influence in non-proliferation far outweighs our size and it’s because of our neutrality. It’s maybe the most important thing we do on the world stage and our media basically never talks about it. So of course he wants us to step back, it makes it easier to argue against neutrality

Anyway, we need some joy, so here's the Egyptian foreign minister being given a Lego Pyramid by the Danish foreign minister.

Shocking anti-Irish racism on Coronation Street. Carla just got back from two weeks in Ireland and said “I haven’t had a decent cup of tea in ages”

I’ve been saying for YEARS that Ivan Yates is the keystone of everything wrong with Irish society. I was just basing it on vibes up till now, delighted to finally have some evidence

I wrote an email to Simon Harris, politely asking him to stop offering help and support to the people who are setting fire to buildings where women & children live. He's on [email protected] if you want to say something about this to him.

Centrism is the belief that society achieved perfection around the same time as you became a homeowner

this is honestly my main argument against AGI hype

Which song?, is it “Josie”, cuz, she’ll like it, tellin ya!🧛‍♂️😀😏, as long as they play to long!, that is?😀🤣🤣😏

So it wasn't fireworks. It was a calculated and deliberate attempt at the mass murder of men, women and children. www.thetimes.com/article/0887...

RFK JR (sitting alone in the dark imagining teenagers shooting unimpressive watery loads, as older men, mostly right around his own age, blast monster wads visibly teeming with powerful sperms): hey alexa, tell chatGPT to have my assistant schedule a press conference ALEXA: Sorry, I didn't get that.