Grogu’s holding an anti-mask protest on the dual carriageway. I told him that’s not really a thing anymore but he’s furious.

I'm concerned people think I'm joking about this.

Branson Reese is the only American comedian who has proven they can be trusted with an Irish accent

Fuck your data centres I've a drought outside.

to this day i cannot believe how many people have gained traction as looksmaxxers, when all that they have done is gone through puberty in full sincerity, they will post: before: 14 years old. ew!!!!! after: i became a 24 year old thanks to bonesmashing, obscure supplements, mewing & mastic gum

Thinking about Gniesbert again

This is how you speak about AI to young people, or to anyone really.

It's 8 years since we Repealed the 8th Amendment. If you voted, canvassed, fundraised talked to your family, were the driver, made the tea, brought your dog and everything else in between, We thank you. The campaign showed us what people power can achieve!

Probably 80% of posters madness is downstream of thinking that posting on a niche microblogging platform is, in some way, important, rather than being a way to waste time on your phone

If I told you ten years ago all of the Jeopardy winners, doctors, lawyers, stat-focused sports nerds, and premium shitposters escaped Twitter on a pirate ship to a website that was completely inhospitable to Nazis and phrenologists……. I don’t know, man, I’d be pretty excited.

apropos of nothing, “if you tune your algorithm right you barely see nazi shit” is proof positive of a brain so cooked by twitter as to have completely lost the plot

Truly incredible things happening on the legaladviceuk subreddit

YOU’RE LISTENING TO SISYPHUS FM, THE HOME OF NON-STOP ROCK

I’m in an Irish bar in Tenerife watching The Boxing and if you want to see huge men in big suits then The Boxing is the place to be

logging on to bluesky

Introduce yourself with 10 bands/musicians you've seen live... Radiohead Greg Freeman Pavement Horsegirl QOTSA PJ Harvey Tapes N Tapes Leenalchi Jedward Junior Brother

I saw her at Electric Picnic the summer before this came out. She said it was only the third fully solo show she’d ever done and she was super nervous. The old stuff sounded great and the White Chalk songs she played were amazing. Bits of the show are on YouTube, it’s worth checking out

jesus fucking christ lmao

Me dying of a snakebite: Give me the anecdote, quick! Friend: Uhhh the other day I went to the bank and someone in line had the weirdest haircut.

I'm the guy who threw a grenade at Bruno Mars in that one song. Life has so many twists and turns. These days, it's hard to tell which assassination attempts against beloved celebrities will result in Billboard Top 100 #1 charting hits... and which will result only in simple grenade carnage.

my neighbor says that he is not a genie yet every time i rub his house he comes outside

The RTÉ story about this said the launch was “mostly successful” and imo space flight is one of those things where you really want to be in that 100% successful range

gotta be one of my favourite genres

The English language is so versatile. You can put the stress on any word in this sentence (and I have) it makes sense

The Bertie Touch

looking for a few more folks to talk to for a story i'm working on about tamagotchi. has tamagotchi influenced your games or art, even going beyond the creature care genre? hit me up here or [email protected] ✨

any time revenue is reported

55 POINTS 55 REBOUNDS 55 ASSISTS 55 BLOCKS

Limmy reference in LEGO Batman www.youtube.com/watch?v=PimI...

Seems to be a controversial take that a bunch of Arnotts security guards shouldn’t be able to execute you in the street for potential shoplifting

[standing up for commencement speech on zoom in 2021] and if you’re not on CLUBHOUSE you’re going to be LEFT BEHIND!

I’ve done an inexplicable thing.

cannot fathom a person putting their knee on someone else's neck to restrain them. how buried deep or gone is your remaining atom of humanity to do that. you must fundamentally know its wrong. deeply fucked people out there.

have Gript started speculating as to the names and nationalities of the securities guards involved yet or do they only do that sometimes

Orson Welles: I worked with Grogu. Not in film you see but on the stage. Brilliant performer but a cruel disgusting wretch of a soul. Interviewer: Pourrions-nous parler de Citizen Kane à la place, s'il vous plaît ? Welles: yes he did sell out his friends to HUAC, I will never forgive him for that

Hiring Manager: And do you know what "Scrum" is? Me: ... Hiring Manager: ... Me: [points at picture on desk] Hiring Manager: Are you pointing to a picture of my son? Me: Little Scrum?

examine yourself about this semi regularly

Even if you've blocked him, you may still be "following" him. There's a ton of my mutuals showing up as his followers, and it looks real iffy for lots of progressive industry heads to be still in that number.

The Police

This Father's Day I'm hosting a show where myself and all the other comedians have lost their fathers. Want to cope with dark humour in a non-judgemental atmosphere? This is the show for you!

(Ben Shapiro's head becoming increasingly coneshaped, the tip more and more like a pencil) Me: Sharper Computer: Sharpening 25% Me: (lips touching microphone) Sharper Computer: Sir, my programming... Me: sharper Computer: (voice getting slower and deeper) Sir, this goes beyond what I am capable of.

OMG, I literally can't stop laughing! This is pure genius, puts #Yellowface in the shade as #LitWorldSatire Tom Morris, please jump up, take a bow, at your leisure.

Saw several posts about Grogu. Not sure what's going on there but maybe this will help: swanboy.com/comic/mandal...

Delighted to tell you all that I have a new series in @thejournal.ie where I get to grips with all things Ireland-coded! Have you ever stopped to think... what exactly is a parish pump? jrnl.ie/7040952