The computer lost the mandate of heaven when the humble, helpful "program" was replaced with the insidious "app"

late-night Bluesky hits different. it’s just me, three hyperfixated academics, and a guy live-posting his waffle house visit. ​we are a community. we are a family. please do not look at my screen time

being transgender is amazing and beautiful, transitioning is one of the greatest choices you can ever make and i hope more people realize that its not dangerous or evil, but liberating

Most birds could probably only carry me in their beak, which might be painful except for pelicans, but birds of prey such as hawks and eagles and owls could gently grasp me with their talons, demonstrating an unexpected correlation between ferocity and care

boggy, soggy, squitchy picture truly, enough to drive a nervous man distracted

he will infallibly lead you to water, if water there be

what god made him shark

the Library of Alexandria has burned 10,000 times and will burn 10,000 more before it’s all said and done

When a baby is about to be born, someone always has to boil water. It's for the baby's first hot dogs.

I just asked a customer how much fabric he needed and he said "I asked Chat GPT and it said 7 yards" and while I was EXTREMELY tempted to let him learn the hard way, I asked about his project and explained he actually only needed 2.75 yards...

"the African Room..is now completely gutted and emptied. I was not told where those items went."

she was all pitter, no patter

Sirens were the first rock singers.

Waiting in line at the bird feeder. Eating without hands as is their custom.

Yes, as every one knows, meditation and water are wedded for ever.

It's June, which means it's time for my birthday fundraiser for our local animal shelter! 🎁 Will you consider donating if you can? No amount is too small! 🥳 givebutter.com/mollys-birth...

How are flamingos and hummingbirds the same sort of thing, is anyone looking into this??

The authoritative thud of a librarian's due date stamp haunts my dreams

If you have nsfw set to "hide" I implore you to set it to "warn". You still won't see anything except for a blurred post Otherwise once they roll out account-wide adult content labeling a whole lot of people including me are going to disappear from your timelines, even our sfw text posts

No monologue is more unhinged than someone attempting to explain the plot of a book to you

Thought using a cheerio as a floaty would be a good idea but I forgot how much sharks like cereal

Found the cutest popcorn pattern on Etsy (as always). Y’all want some popcorn? 🍿 🎥 What we watchin’??? 🧶

I purchased a wacky inflatable tube man for a project and since taking receipt of the wacky inflatable tube man the wacky inflatable tube man company has accidentally shipped me a second wacky inflatable tube man. I just received a third shipping confirmation. I am concerned about this trajectory

The sun will rise in #Portland #Oregon tomorrow at 5:29, 47 seconds earlier than the day before. It will set at 20:46, 60 seconds later than the day before.

why is butter the only thing that comes in a pat

I want to see all the cis people that claim to support us to really show us this time. We really, really need y'all to stand up and defend our rights, now.

if an adult plays the trombone in the peanuts universe it sounds like words

great stuff google thank you so much!!!!

what lives beneath the surface of the ocean is none of my business, i wish these monsters well.

Her: What kind of computer do you have? Me: Macaroni Her: Do you mean Macintosh? Me: *doing abacus stuff with pasta*

Soaking my brain in lavender extract every night for dreams, purity, and softening effects

What if there were a reverse tooth fairy who implants extra teeth in your mouth while you sleep?

Don't count your eggs.

My dad, massive Johnny Cash fan that he is, used this line on me multiple times as a kid, altering to suit the situation "Son, this world is rough and if a man's gonna make it he's gotta...[do his history homework], [take the trash], [clean the guinea pig cage], etc."

People seem super shocked that this paste I'm selling is made out of teeth even though it says so right on the label??

Smooshing wet pigments around. Making flôŵërs

First drafts are just like here's 900 different ideas. Is anything I'm saying interesting to anyone including even myself?

My milkweed seedlings are ready for outside but outside isn’t ready for them

CIS PEOPLE TIME TO STEP UP it’s once again time to yell at our bad government via online comment form the FCC is trying to make trans and nonbinary content require special ratings on shows GLAAD has a good writeup on it below TELL ‘EM NO direct link to comment form: www.fcc.gov/ecfs/filings...

If you want to discover you actually have a strong preference for how to do things you have literally never even considered before, I highly suggest Moving In Together With Someone Who Does It Wrong

Nobody told me I'd have to unpack all this stuff once I got it moved???

in england "cookie crisp" cereal is called "biscuit chip"

wherever you are, when you look up at the moon and i look up at the moon at the same time, we are looking at two totally different moons

Pushing my baby (a slice of cheesecake) in a stroller on a walk through my neighborhood.

Butchers we are, that is true.

I dreamed I put a washing machine on the back of my bike and rode it full force into a water-filled ravine

I found the cutest fucking pattern on Etsy. My sisters loves gardening. She hasn’t grown any carrots yet, but she wants to. I made her this lil’ dude. Hopefully he will provide some encouragement and moral support. No name for him yet. He’s carrot dude. 🧶 🥕 🧑‍🌾

The look of betrayal when Mowgli gained awareness that every treat I give her nowadays is spiked with Potassium Goo The goo is maple flavored-- I know, because I tasted it -- and I am beginning to think cats are not inclined to like maple, so it's an odd choice.

snuck a block of cheese into my soul to trap my forever soulmate