I have tons of new people following me, so I should do one of these: Hi! I'm Emily. I'm an author (www.penguinrandomhouse.com/authors/2274...), podcaster (podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/t...) & writer. I try to make people laugh. I write about sleuths in a newsletter: msemilyedwards.com/blog/

My #SuperlativeCannedGoo tweet from the old place is making rounds again. Support co-op cranberry growers!

best thing i’ve seen all day

don’t worry, bluesky is blueskying and people are already being awful in the replies.

Bob’s Red Mill is THE BEST. Bob died and gave the company to employees. King Arthur is also some sort of collaborative but I forget the details.

some other familiar grocery store names that are brands for producer-owned agricultural co-ops: Blue Diamond Bob's Red Mill Land O'Lakes Tillamook Welch's

Lotta blue collar folks in my home of southeast Massachusetts can afford to live here because they work for the Ocean Spray co-op

ya know, the x files would have solved a lot of problems if mulder had walked around with a kodak funsaver like i did in middle school

My #SuperlativeCannedGoo tweet from the old place is making rounds again. Support co-op cranberry growers!

ANYWAY if you'd like to read a fun, mid-century, country mansion mystery novel set during Thanksgiving, I literally have the book for you! You do not need to have read the first in the series to "get" it: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/717309...

I have a new story up this week at #PistolJimPress! This was my first short acceptance ever. I'm really proud to have two shorts up this month. #noir #mystery #shortfiction pistoljimpress.substack.com/p/polished-b...

well shit, this would have been useful when writing my books.

really having a debate over breakfast over which toyota dealership has the better jingle: you won’t get a lemon (i woulda got a lemon??) from toyota of orange or south coast toyOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHta

And order them via Octavia’s Bookshelf, the Pasadena bookstore dedicated to Black women writers: www.octaviasbookshelf.com

too real lol

The incredible @tarashoe.bsky.social is making a movie, come hell or high water Pitch in for the last $2k and make sure she has all the funding she needs: seedandspark.com/fund/girlie#...

Dear god. The eternal question. Look, all of my books have romantic elements. I will NEVER claim to write romance because there’s never a proper HEA. Period. If you lift the romance out, you still have a working mystery. Take out the mystery, you do NOT have a full, satisfying romance.

god it is so fucking hard to get people to care about books

OK, it's time! Play the video and see if you can guess the 5 movie titles and the composers for each one. Send your answers to my DM and I will give you your score. NO AUDIO SEARCH, please. Let's play fair! See reply for how to score points ... 1/2 #filmsky #moviesky #musicsky #games #quiz

Keith took my weather! I have this:

What I want to say about Alice is this: we have not decided as a society that we want people like her to live as human beings. Currently, the regime under which she lived & died is closing off the elements that made her extraordinary life possible. Her work is literally being erased.

my new deodorant smells exactly like a lotion that sold at my college job at crabtree & evelyn in 2004 and all i can think about is the time where i wore jeans to work because it was my day to clean & organize the stockroom and they told me that should be fired for breaking dress code.

My friend Tyler recently told me that Malört tastes like “a grapefruit roasted over a tire fire” and I don’t think I will ever forget that

don't you hate getting to the end of a piece and not being able to hit the kicker

always fun when someone you genuinely adore is still friendly with someone who was, possibly, the meanest an adult has ever been to you in adult life!!

You could literally make a better movie out of those 90s snark keychains they sold at Claire*s

I welcome the heat death of the universe. www.hollywoodreporter.com/movies/movie...

the 100lb dog is absolutely convinced that if his toes are even the slightest bit damp what is actually happening is that he has been soaked through hair, skin, meats, and bone to the very core of his soul by the icy currents of the soulless water of the third circle of hell. not that it's drizzly.

I honestly wish I could pay $1,000 to be in the room when the Trans Handy Ma’am sees this video

ANYWAY if you'd like to read a fun, mid-century, country mansion mystery novel set during Thanksgiving, I literally have the book for you! You do not need to have read the first in the series to "get" it: www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/717309...

Rosa DeLauro is so indicative of every woman in Connecticut over the age of maaaaaaaaaybe 48-52 that I wonder how all y'all are surprised at "wine moms" being active in revolution and/or weird.

another reason i love alt text is because a lot of y'all post photos of pop culture people and as someone who wasn't allowed to watch anything but SESAME STREET and CARE BEARS and shit until i was like 10... i have no idea who those people are until i read the alt text.

i know i shouldn’t be but every time a new epstein thing lands i’m genuinely amazed by the number of cishet men who are willing to admit on the public internet that they’ve never once sat down and really thought about how often women are sexually assaulted and from how young an age.

So there’s a lawyer going around BlueSky right now responding to everyone talking about the Anthropic book settlement by (1) urging people to opt out and (2) saying that they are representing authors who are opting out.

Working class men don’t go to teenage girl sex abuse island because they’re not invited, not because they don’t want to.

the replies to “what’s your most woke idea” post are literally just a rehash of trotskyism vs leninism and i’m honestly not sure if the people doing it are aware that they are rehashing a literally 100 year old ideological quagmire

#LosAngeles really should be ashamed for the totally shambolic handling of sheltering the #unhoused and caring for its least fortunate citizens -

my first date with my husband was at the tail end of W.’s reign of terror and i basically monologued for two straight hours about abortion rights and i am not kidding when i say i asked wtf was wrong with him for pursuing my crazy ass and he responded “you’re mouthy 😍.”

an excellent list AND you really need to pre-order POPCORN DISABILITIES

just walked out of my house to take out the trash and was like “yeuch! something WET fell on me!” it’s rain, you LA-based idiot

Today is the 9th anniversary of the day Maggie stole an entire pecan pie and got drunk from all the sugar. Happy Purloined Pecan Pie Day from our family to yours!

listen. the fish and i have an agreement. i don’t go in their house, they don’t come to mine. so far they have upheld their end of the bargain and this video confirms i shall do the same.

sometimes i think about the time my parents were mad i didn't want to go on a walk in the woods with them. i pouted and said, "no because i'll get a frog in my hair" and i am not kidding i made it two minutes into the forest before my dad was disentangling a Spring Peeper from my hair.

Girls only dream of one thing: destroying a city so completely that the resulting layer of ash is known as our "Destruction Horizon"

BTW, if you *are* looking to add more fiber to your diet (which is weirdly a common topic of conversation here on Bsky), my friend Amy has started a company revolving around the humble lentil: www.lentiltelepathy.com

me: did you know the sloth bears are one of the most aggressive types of bear? husband: don’t mess with balloo me: 🎶oh ee aye- FUCK YOU🎶

Honestly, until like the 1970s or 1980s, people have held the attitude that adult men having sex with teenagers is "normal" and "biologically wired." They still believe it, they just learned to stop talking about it openly at some point.

that fleeting moment of bliss tinged with relief when you take a new driver’s license photo and the guy at the dmv goes, “nice!” thank god

SVU is the weirdest copaganda out there because it’s an entire, multi-decade fantasy that anyone will take sex crimes seriously