Drunk Nixon from Secret Honor pulling out his gun and shooting at the television screen whenever there are Simpsons commercials during football games

I would bet the farm that he is gonna give a rousing speech that brings the nation together and readies us to take on the challenges of the coming year

so it was written. so it will be

Quentin Tarantino:

Kash Patel is going to make history as the first FBI director to get medically evacuated from Burning Man

Trying to decide between My Chemical Bromance and RUN-GNC

Hollywood: AI is a malevolent autonomous entity which is so devoted to self-preservation that it will use nuclear weapons to wipe out humanity. Reality: AI is a text-based computer game that talks vulnerable people into committing crimes and/or killing themselves.

It’s so funny that Bill Gates has spent the last 20 years pushing “population control” in the global south and getting glowing press for it and now there’s strong evidence he did so with quasi-genocidal intent but the thing that is actually ruining his reputation is cheating on his wife.

A not insignificant portion of that 50% are MAGA zoomers and divorced steroid abusers who think it’s based that Trump is a pedophile. Like not saying it’s a big number but it definitely can’t be rounded down to zero.

If Juliana Stratton loses the Illinois senate primary they’re going to need to make a new political party in that state for people who aren’t conservatives or Trump supporters.

They said it. We’re all thinking it.

Epstein Administration going great so far!

This article thumbnail gave me some ideas

oh we got both kinds! we got country *and* western!

Having a net worth above $10 million dollars should automatically qualify as a TBI.

It Can’t Happen Here (Sinclair Lewis, 1935)

My sources say the death penalty, for insurrection, being requested for Yoon Suk Yeol. I am pro-life and take no pleasure in reporting this.

(Jim Morrison "Riders on the Storm" voice) Donald Trump has died

RIP charlie kirk you would have loved tweeting about this 💔🥀

THE JOKER (in his capacity as a podcast host): You agree Bats has completely lost it? GOV. GAVIN NEWSOM: I thi--this is THE JOKER: It's a simple question. Do you think Birdbrain is the real menace facing Gotham. NEWSOM: So, this is interesting. It's interesting. You may have something there,

Voice of America (threatening)

Public libraries are actually existing examples of the world we want. We should not have to fight for them under a democratic socialist mayor. @nycplan.org is organizing a response. Tell Mamdani to make good on his commitment to baseline funding for libraries! nycplan.org

Basically if this passed libraries would have completely bar minors from entering the building. We’d have to hire bouncers to check IDs at the door like bars.

Can’t decide whether the worse reality is that this is an AI-bot run by the FBI or there is a real person out there doing this on their own initiative.

We Can Historicize It For You Wholesale

Immigrants are driving down the wages of American-born violent criminals. There’s not a state in the nation where you can afford a two-bedroom apartment as a mugger or a stick-up artist anymore!

need to figure out how to stencil this onto my little free library.

It is 1996. The American president was born in 1946. It is 2006. The American president was born in 1946. It is 2016. The American president was born in 1946. It is 2026. The American president was born in 1946.

Someone tell Hillary that this is her husband’s legacy too

“College kids these days aren’t being prepared to not do their jobs”

If we’re going to be doing this can car manufacturers at least go back to making fuel-inefficient consumer trucks where the hood isn’t taller than the average eighth grader

i don't think it would ever occur to a mets fan to make this

Sort of gives away the lie that they're arresting hardened criminals who are drags on society when they're setting up traps to lure in Good Samaritans

The US military loves killing people and then trafficking their children. Arissa Oh’s To Save the Children of Korea: The Cold War Origins of International Adoption is a great primer on the ideological links between US imperialism and white Christian nationalism in this context.

If you’re interested in learning how disingenuous this is, read Reign of Terror by Spencer Ackerman and Fort Bragg Cartel by Seth Harp. Obama worked for 8 years to entrench and obscure the worst elements of the GWOT and DHS. He gave amnesty to torturers, deported millions, and promoted Tom Homan.

Wait the video is actually longer than this and gets even better 🤣🤣 here's the whole thing Nazi kid: I'm just standing here peacefully. Hero kid: You can peacefully go fuck yourself Nazi kid: woah that's against school code!! No swearing in the school! School security lady: Ummm yeahhhhh kid ok

Imagining a team of Officer Jennys in riot gear showing up with a bulldozer to sweep a camp full of wild Mr. Mimes and Drowzees

This is an @ifbookspod.bsky.social emergency situation. This is all hands on deck.

“But if you can’t handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best”

People are going to go to jail for AI before this decade is over!!!

This is blackout poetry to me

This is basically the plot of The Moment.

it's not FOR us