you know what I think about Parks & Recreation. i think that bit where chris pratt goes “i typed your symptoms into the computer and it says you have Network Connectivity Issues” was really funny

i’m not very Woke but it’s time to admit that we simply have to run more Woke candidates to meet voters where theyre at

2026 Primary Woke Wave

things are heating up in Minneapolis

I’m detecting notes of brack. Is this one…is this Brackish Water?

one thing about my culture is family is not important to us. and we hate food

when songs have lyrics about “doing what lovers do” i dont know what that is. what are they talking about

missed opportunity for Zohran to teach everyone terms like “first cousin once removed.” the Post is right

I used to waste sooo much time swiping credit cards but now thankfully I can “tap”

I am pretty open-minded, but I don’t think people who run for office should have tattoos

Let me clarify. The parts you disagreed with are satire. The parts you agree with are real.

[trying hard to be an ally] Sex is work.

not seeing encouraging info on whether No Kings March was carbon neutral 🫤

i honestly believe when paul mccartney wrote “bee dee boo be doo, i love you” he was tapping into deep truths

Wouldn't be surprised if Ohtani bet he'd hit three home runs and strike out ten... easy way to make extra money

most of my favorite actors are AI nowadays. and most of my favorite computer programs are actually people, as well

Cant think of one

Black Messiah one of the greatest albums ever. RIP

one of the craziest things that can happen in sports is when they keep playing the game and its not even over yet

I’m a therapist but I learned 100% of how to do my job from viral posts. I tell my patients various things arent real and cant hurt them. The only thing that is real is Emotional Labor

LUNKHEAD SPORTSWATCHER: i want a “Beer” INTELLECTUAL ADONIS: please pass me a Soda

thinking now is an auspicious time to fire off some posts about Pedigree, the American Kennel Club, and Dog Racism

this happened to me

my political opponents are baselessly calling me The Grinch. however this has caused me to reevaluate The Grinch’s views and they actually make a lot of sense

if you give a mouse a cookie youre in for a world of hell lets just put it that way

its a very important holiday for Wifes today

instead of your first negative reaction, consider why an artist might be making that choice intentionally. for instance maybe modern Bob Dylan is singing from the point of view of an emphysemic frog

If you’re placing prop bets on South Park you need to have a conservatorship

its fun to say stupid stuff on line, and to be stupid, etc

“meme literacy” is like three levels below actual media literacy and the trump posters are failing it horribly. i cant stop laughing at this one. is this how you think the glasses work, in the movie

one of the best Genius annotations i have ever seen. what she means by “the waters dont really go by me” is apparently “the waters do go by me”

we should put all the trump people in a simulated version of the US where they can yell at baristas all day but theyre really Westworld type robots

ME: Sim Tower. CHOTINER: Sure. ME: Yoot Tower. CHOTINER: Not sure you understand this posting format. ME: Yeah. Seems real popular right now? Yoot Tower, though. CHOTINER: [slot machine dinging and celebrating noises] Yoot Tower ME: Yoot Tower

the hot new right wing meme is to pretend to be left wing for your mass shooting event. and it has everyone LOLing

Did this really happen, or viral marketing??? 😳😱😓

Erm, hi 👋urban planner here. This is wrong? it's really embarassing when people don't understand that the thrid "Location" is where you cash in. Buckle up 🧵👇(1/65)

to me real estate is all about Location, Location. I agree with the conventional wisdom to an extent but Location only 2x instead of 3x

i vastly prefer the version of Kamala who just shit talks other democrats all day than the one who ran for president. keep it up 👍

i ended up missing this at Farm Aid because it was at the same time as Waxahatchee but i made a meme about what i think i would have learned

people say you cant notice when you put a bay leaf in just a pot of boiling water but my guest definitely noticed something was up with my soup

instead of having one big worldwide union i dream of building a worldwide HOA

jam band guys love to talk about how the dude who does the lights is basically a member of the band

the first amendment is too powerful. you need the second amendment as a check on it

OK Go is threatening to make another video on the treadmills every hour until their demands are met

I love scaling my startup and becoming a “unicorn”

refdord