Yoda on a walkie would be a total disaster. Saying “Over” before every message. Get serious

I once sat on a flight next to a guy who completely dead eyed watched 3 hours of Mr. Beast videos and declined the beverage service. There’s like thirty million of him out there. Nothing you can do really

To be clear: These people want us dead. Erasing us from history makes erasing us from the present easier, because if we don't have a past or a heritage, how real can we possibly be?

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Tim Heidecker Wants to Make Infowars the Premier Destination for Trans Comedy

All tech companies do is force stuff that is clearly already illegal on people without asking, say oopsie and use the trillion dollars they made to pay their 100k fine from Congress, an institution that they assume, with considerable evidence, that they can buy, overwhelm, and outlast.

I thought this point Eric made about how libraries are early introductions to a social contract was really interesting, too:

1 year ago today I was terminated by DOGE from USAID where I worked to get humanitarian aid into Gaza. Everyone I knew across almost 10 years of my career across 3 prior jobs became unemployed as well. My entire LinkedIn network suddenly became "open to work" I'm a one issue voter. Punishment.

If you are as infuriated as you read this as I am, know that Congress not only has the power to fix the abuse of the Shadow Docket but also that the legislation is already drafted. We just need to get it to the floor. www.nytimes.com/2026/04/18/u...

“I enjoy watching the TV show The Pitt” - this is what all you The Pitt fans sound like 🙄

BREAK. THEIR. BACKS.

When people say that the economy being good feels completely disconnected from their lives, this is what they mean. Okay, shoes are AI now, and they get $50 million for that. Reading that sentence doesn't feel like getting bonked on the head with a bowling pin at all.

kinda funny how Republican voters are inarguably happier when a Dem is president. they don’t actually want to be in charge of shit, they want to roll coal and whip themselves into a frenzy over wholly imaginary liberal tyranny. now they’ve caught the car and it fuckin sucks

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

Get this SEC nonsense out of my face

you shouldn’t learn about bands from shady TikTok manipulation, you should learn about bands by hanging out with a girl you like but are also extremely afraid of

Trump or God. Pick a side. It’s finally happening

I estimate I make about 15,000 dollars a year from NOT being on Substack. That’s probably conservative, tbh. I know moving can seem scary and you think your readers won’t follow you and the notes system is too powerful…but they will, and it’s not. You don’t have to be there if you don’t want to

the fact that christians were more upset about this ai generated trump pic but not when he said he was gonna wipe off an entire civilization shows how bankrupt white evangelicalism is

Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto https://theonion.com/man-who-threw-molotov-cocktail-at-sam-altmans-home-claims-he-was-following-chatgpt-recipe-for-risotto/

evangelicals eagerly, gleefully pretended not to see the myriad ways trump is the most heretical politician to hold american higher office in modern history so i don't think we should take their outrage as sincere now that they need a way out of his sinking coalition

Can never get over how tawdry the modern Right's view of Western Civilization is; nothing to build, nothing to aspire to, nothing even really to destroy or wage war against, just sullen resentment of their own children and seething hatred of the cities whose economics subsidies their regimes.

Between this, Noem and Bondi getting bounced and Trump deleting the Jesus-slop, we're getting more and more indications that these people on some level understand how despised they are and the "fuck you, we do what we want" bravado is flagging. You are allowed to celebrate that.

This picture has become a siren call for the Dipshit Avengers, saying with one voice "I do not like this, but rest assured, I am still really, really stupid."

I think another reason many Americans Feel Bad About the Economy: There is a constant barrage of information indicating to the casual observer that people who run scams and lie and refuse to play by the rules aren't just going unpunished, they're *making way more money than you are* as a result.

Roku is dramatically overestimating how interested I am in China Beach

The idea that you could be a “ski bum” or a “surf bum”—that’s a lifestyle that’s pretty much foreclosed for everyone except the affluent

more seriously congrats to the hungarian people for kicking that asshole out

we’re not going to defeat global authoritarianism by putting JD Vance on a stage and letting him talk. but maybe it isn’t going to *hurt* either lol

Seriously it's time. Way past time. Also if you wanted a prime example of why Dems aren't going to the mattresses to punish the Epstein Class it's because a lot of them are in it. I can't believe it has to be said that we need to punish pedophiles and not give them a pass because Dems are in on it

"Must've kept 10,000 beers cold"

Imagine Hitler "pardoning" his inner circle and people respecting that. If we don't punish each and every one of these people, we'll deserve whatever comes back to us. Like when people said it was "extrajudicial" for Biden to have tossed Trump in jail. It's the right thing to do for society.

the fact that the prime minister of israel is a holocaust denier is not remarked on as much as it ought to be

"I can not believe America has becom--" bitch, we have Andrew Jackson on our money. our default money. the only money the bank robot knows how to hand out.

Every single one of the astronauts who went to the moon and back on Artemis II was educated at a public school. Thinking of the teachers who poured into Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover, Christina Koch, and Jeremy Hansen tonight. You helped send a kid to the moon! 🌕 💛

you consider the few things that have pushed these guys into action, and the many things that haven't, and increasingly coming to the conclusion that no matter what the issue you care about is, you need to jam up airports

Just an absolute vacuum cleaner, sucking cash out of the company while leaving its creative teams and executives begging for scraps. Zero added value to one of the greatest brands in Hollywood history.

The fire rises.

I’ve been thinking about this guy almost daily for ten fucking years. essentially my entire 30’s. when he finally croaks I imagine I’ll let out a sigh so deep it realigns my fucking spine

I AM GOING TO BURN DOWN THE SHED UNLESS WE HAVE PIZZA ROLLS FOR DINNER TONIGHT [mom sighs, rolls her eyes, writes "pizza rolls" on the grocery list for next week] I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO BURN DOWN THE SHED

My one-hour special “Rick Steves Iran: Yesterday and Today,” which helps humanize 90 million Iranian people, is streaming free and ad-free at www.ricksteves.com/watch-iran.

As a hospital nurse I got called into work many many times. After 9/11 we were often reminded that if something else happened we would not be allowed to go home to our families depending on the alert level. I think Congress and Senate can go to DC and stop this bullshit.

Oh so now we expect congress to go to work? I thought we believed in workers rights? Not a good look leftists

happy april 7th, 2026 to all who celebrate

The Angel Reese trade should be the last embarrassment. Chicago Sky owner Michael Alter needs to sell.

I ate six hot dogs and now I have a head ache. I think I've been poisoned

a fun thing to do when you walk into a restaurant is to point to the no smoking sign and turn to your 6 year old nephew and say "heads up man, no smoking" and when he says "I don't smoke" you say "oh you quit?? that's awesome buddy, good for you"