Justin Trudeau could be there and could be saying ominous stuff like “she is the perfect organism” and then he’d have to turn and say “C'est l'organisme parfait” for any Quebecois on the space station

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

Trump Beefs Up Security Presence After Frighteningly Close Brush With JD Vance

Been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately, so it feels like a good time to share my painting "Steady".

In WW2, the British government mobilized to create a global, distributed logistics chain aimed solely at keeping Britain supplied with one resource. Flagged as a critical war effort, at times it carried a shipping priority higher than munitions. That resource was Tea. 🧵 /1 (Image: IWM D 10405)

Most accurate portrait of modern culture currently available

I've seen enough. Clearly this experiment is working. It is time for a Michael C. Jordan.

How does he sleep at night?

Never a big Narnia guy but this 6 seconds typifies everything I love about British television.

Extremely revealing details in this interview

Someone should ask if he left with all the nannies

Yeah but he would say that wouldn't he

From @acyn.bsky.social (posted on X) "Reporter: Do any of you have a favorite animal? Child: My favorite one is a gold snake that can move. It has gold eyes, and it has a super-duper tail… Reporter: Mr. Mamdani, the second question for you. Mamdani: Yes. It’s also the golden snake."

Mamdani: "I speak of Renee Good, whose final words to the man who murdered her were, 'I'm not mad at you.' I speak of Alex Pretti who died as he lived, caring for the stranger. ICE shot him bc he did something they could never fathom ... let us offer a new path: one of defiance through compassion."

David Bowie: I’ve been putting out fire with gasoline Fire Warden: Right

Gals rock

New Interview: www.newyorker.com/culture/q-an...

Bari Weiss: “We have to BE the news, not merely report the news” (Epstein emails are released that include her wife joking around with him) Bari Weiss: “No not like that”

youre laughing. im laughing and youre laughing

Just an incredible time to say this from one of the UKs worst politicians.

I think at this point the UK has accepted Paddington as the Death Bear, collector of souls. So, I think as a nation we should start smearing marmalade on the eyes of the dead and whisper “fare for the crossing”. It’ll feel weird now but, in three of four generations, no one will question it.

If you're ever in a conversation and there's an awkward pause, you can always say "wouldn't mind a few rounds of gwent"

Police Repeatedly Shoot Tim Cook After Mistaking iPhone For Gun https://theonion.com/police-repeatedly-shoot-tim-cook-after-mistaking-iphone-1824184361/

Huge scandal that Minneapolis has been crawling with terrorists this whole time. They've been living among us undercover as poets and nurses. And would've continued to, had it not been for the work of our bravest child kidnappers

Imagine what’s happening in the camps.

We made it

The classy move would have been to give Machado the FIFA Peace Prize in return.

‘Defecting to the reform party’ is a polite euphemism for telling guests at a dinner party that you need to go for a poo. “I’d love to hear all about your holiday in Sardinia but first I just need to defect to the reform party”

Jenrick saying he's "put aside personal ambition" too join Reform is the single most shameless statement I've ever heard. If he "put aside personal ambition" he'd disappear. That's all there is.

do you guys hear that bell tolling? wonder who it’s for. it’s so loud lmao

*posting on twitter* oh ho, I’ve made a wry observation. Better make sure a bunch of pedophiles see it

Best TikTok thing going is the two dudes trying food from every country without leaving NYC. If you haven’t seen them yet, it’s incredible. My favorite so far is last week’s. Legit got me emotional.

Not a great day to be called Johnathan Ross

I will fire a gun at the sky every hour on the hour until the sun is released

You're not ready for the name of the energy transition specialist at Heat Pump Association UK

Could an empire in decline do THIS? *launches deeply unpopular invasion cementing status as lunatic-led pariah state, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do*

Transphobia has been pushed from the top down. By Christian nationalists and journalists. Survey after survey shows most people simply don’t care. So why is the UK and US media obsessed with attacking them?

You boy, what colour are you?

We've always had these dead-eyed socipaths around. It's just a few years ago they were ignored and now they're "senior fellow" at places funded by evil millionaires + going on podcasts with a brain-rotted ex-PM.

[with increasing panic] and Tiny Tim, who WOULD NOT die,

Tiny Tim, who did NOT have hoes

I'm a regular guy, I put my trousers on the same way as everyone else: falling into them through a hole in the ceiling via a contraction operated by my long suffering dog

That is not dead which can eternal lie, Like Tiny Tim, who did NOT die