Fuck it, I’m tilting at windmills!!

*high-fiving each plate on the back of a stegosaurus as I pass by him* good game good game good game

Teachers are sometimes the only positive force in kids’ lives. A betrayal like this will cause them to never trust anyone ever again. Just educate the child, don’t be a brownshirt. Once more for the people in the back: trans people were here, are here, and will be here. Leave them the fuck alone.

These fine gentleman will be joining us on the Mystery Science Theater 3000 set today. We are delighted and properly terrified.

I think I speak on behalf of everybody here when I say I’m cheering for the mutant super pigs and will happily die for them if need be

Because fuck that guy.

Worst bakery ever.

Personal addendum: IN OUR CURRENT WASTELAND RATS ARE PRETTY CUTE

I was trying to think of a sum of money that billionaires could pay each year, dependent on how much income they made, that ensured they contributed to the country and public wellbeing in a productive way— without being self-serving……… Taxes.

Real life Li’l Abner character…

No. Next question.

A grilled cheese and not ever hearing his voice again might just fix me.

God, I love archivists. That is all.

Some might look at this in a collection and say “but why??” to which I say “why not??”

Important:

Six Flags: *opens first theme park Five Flags: "We should have seen this coming"

Seeing myself in the mirror 1st thing in the morning and chuckling evilly, “some idiot’s going to be happy to wake up to this disaster one day.”

quit scaring my dog

*during sex Do you have a favourite Hobbit?

Is Gizmonic Institute hiring? I’d appreciate being shot into space right about now.

Does this pole still work?

Toby the African pygmy falcon (Polihierax semitorquatus) is taking a dust bath at the Cincinnati Zoo. Birds secrete oil from a uropygial gland ('preen gland') that is antimicrobial, conditions & adds waterproofing. A dust bath helps remove this oil so a fresh layer can be applied.

Do people mad about the odyssey casting know about bible characters being cast as vegetables

there’s no law limiting the amount of nicknames you can give a cat

Man, we really dropped the ball when we got rid of intricate door plates. I’m hunting for details on this bad boy. It was tucked in an apple crate in a shed, covered in decades of dust. I’m guessing 1890s-1920s, but I’m certainly no expert. Hopefully I can report back with more info.🤞

INVENTOR OF CORDUROY: what if you could wear potato chips

Bonjour

Still just the one NFL team named after a 19th century poem written by an incestual alcoholic, or….?

This bronze scorpion is ancient Egyptian. It dates from c. 664-332BC. Whilst the ravages of time have claimed his sting and a few legs, I do love the big cartoon eyes. 🏛️ National Museum 🇦🇺 📷 my own

This would work on me I fear

I don’t exactly have scientific data to support this, but I firmly believe that the sound of rain on the roof enhances the reading experience by at least 57%.

Limp Bizkit’s UK counterparts: Flaccid Skone

Symmetrical book stacking, just like the Philadelphia mass turbulence of 1947.

@jaredgonia.bsky.social Could have used your mechanical expertise on this tetanus machine today… but I finally got it rotating again. 🙌

my boyfriend goes to a different bluesky

But they’re so convenient! Just add 1 can of water, or add ½ can milk and ½ can water…

Do I work out? **Cut to a montage of me doing curls with week-old lambs, sprinting after runaway donkeys, and getting KO’d by a tiny mean-ass goat. All the while Eye of the Tiger plays in the background.** …um…no, not really, just normal, everyday, farm work.

do you hate this place often? (flirting)

Cousin to Tucson Broccoli-Rabe

Love isn't always on time

"Well, that was rather awkward." - Me, after approximately 93% of my social interactions.

Scientists are nerds (approving).

I’ve had an hour and a half of sleep. That should be more than sufficient to handle the horrors of the day.

Far be it for me to yuck somebody’s yum…

Gas Station Price Sign Using Scientific Notation

What did you do, Ray?

Bram Stoker’s Weekend at Bramie’s

I hate phone but can't stop using phone

[making small talk at the vets] Oh your dog's a boxer? My cat does karate.