Please, continue to name your pets after foodstuffs. It’s never a bad decision.

We could change that. It’s not impossible. You can treat people decently even if it costs you something. Even if it’s forbidden. You can just do it anyway.

I have a dentist appointment on Tuesday. Guess I should try that ‘flossing’ thing they were jabbering on about.

A joke for the history buffs: Germany’s satirical newspaper @der-postillon.com titles: “Vienna Academy of the Arts offers Trump admission as a student — They don’t want to get blamed again“

If you're looking for a sign to switch careers: this is the sign.

I’m neurodivergent too and it’s something I have on my mind whenever I write and I’m not in school anymore. I hate it There are no tools, no intuition, no nothing that can know reliably if something was written using a LLM or not.

I will think about this poem until I'm dead.

Galadriel turns to Gimli, and uses Dwarvish names. ‘Dark is the water of Kheled-zâram, and cold are the springs of Kibil-nâla, and fair were the many-pillared halls of Khazad-dûm.’ Gimli bows. ‘Yet more fair is the living land of Lórien, and the Lady Galadriel…’

Thirty-two is a weird age to find out I have an instinctual distrust of geese.

A distant cousin of Pistachio Disguisey? 🐢

FRIEND: what are you doing this weekend? ME: slowly crumbling from the gruesome balancing act of needing to stay informed while trying to salvage enough healthy headspace to be able to continue to support myself FRIEND: cool, cool

shrewdles

For seventy dollars an hour I’ll teach your cat math

I had the honor to introduce my replacement on 9NEWS

Nature valentines. This comic is now available as a set of 6 Valentines cards: topatoco.com/collections/...

Hear me out, Jimmy: Stop making them.

First date idea: lie in bed and dissociate next to each other

"Do you have any references?" Yeah, my cats think I'm pretty neat.

has anyone put green chile in matzoh ball soup yet

Solidarity with the people of Minnesota bravely standing up for their vulnerable neighbors against some of the stupidest fascism the world has ever seen.

It makes me sad that there’s been no reprint of Stick Insect In My Panic Room since 1987.

I am a pretty, pretty princess who always chooses compassion, bitches.

‘Slug’ by Nagasawa Rosetsu (1754-1799), painter of the Maruyama school

Turns out there’s no right time during a date to bring up how you’d like to learn more about taxidermy.

I’m giving the squirrels a break today. They’re inside making sandwiches while I dart back and forth in front of traffic

hey, quick question: what’s it gonna take

"I'm not in Minnesota -- what can I do to help?" A list of ideas!

My favorite hobbit OC

Times are dark, pals. Treat yourselves to a fresh new notebook and a brand new pen.

[me every time I see ‘Fuga’ written on a piece of music] FOOGA

Kid Pix Studio Deluxe (1998)

My sign today.

Surround yourself with the kind of people who make small talk with stray animals.

[Searches Google hopefully] "is there such a thing as post- workout recovery cheese?"

If you like cheese enchiladas and getting caught in the rain

I act pretty confident for someone who gets severe anxiety every time I have to interact with anyone that isn't a cat or dog.

It’ll never work bb. My heart belongs to a coal miner who died of black lung in 1932.

Oh my god she uploaded a slow motion video and it's amazing. He's just like me fr running as best he can and still going backwards over and over!

"Listen, one more thing. That missionary we sent to Ethiopia." "The one preaching Anglicanism to the entire Horn of Africa?" "Him, yes. I just wanted to check that we sent someone with, you know, a normal name." "A normal name." "Ah. Who did we send?" "We sent the Reverend Ethelstan Cheese."

THEM: sorry i’m late to the bowling alley, everyone. i got a flat tire on the way ME: sounds like you had to pick up a spare already [later at the ER] DR: how did he get stabbed with a bowling ball??

Upon seeing the head of a canine pop out of the car window in from her own, she bellowed “look at the puppy dog!” with the guttural intensity of Shatner’s “KHAAAAN!”

Probably unrealistic, but I hope they’re talking about Richard Belzer.

First real snow of the season; The dinosaurs are determined to find breakfast anyway.

you can just go ask crows stuff instead of asking chatgpt

Her: A group of iguanas is called a Mess. I love that. Him: What happens if they get overheated? Her: I see where this is going. Don't even think of- Him: *whispers* hot mess.

If you don’t like my posts you can always demand to speak to my manager* *cat