What’s the smallest amount of money you would reach into a toilet to get? Mine is a skittle

At this point my mom coulda put a whole third kid through college with how much she's spent on Duraflame logs over the years.

R. L. Stine actually stands for "Red Lobster Stine"

Tis the season for Peach and Dennis fighting

“Mr. Stark, finally, the sweet release of oblivion…” - depressed Spider-man

11 Nov 2025

hypermasculine aprons

I like how this family is firmly in Not Domesticable but will be your friend.... maybe

back in the summer this city felt safe. now I can't walk down the street without seeing a skeleton, pumpkin with a face, things of this nature. it's just sad to watch the city I love fall apart.

coordinating with my neighbors to turn trick-or-treating down my block into a sort of walking baked potato bar

Which band would be the funniest one to say their band’s name as often in song as The Beastie Boys do?

Drumline (2002) staring Richard Dreyfuss.

*Lil Jon Voice* States' Rights to What

this implies the existence of a Yaoi Gagarin

this month's Fold Up Club release : Crucifixion

I have a friend whose mom drives with the windows down and heater on. She calls it “the best of both worlds” and she is my spiritual guide

It started taking the piss, how did it end up like this? (It was only the piss) It was only the piss Now I'm right bloody chuffed and she's calling me naff While he's popped round the chip and she's havin’ a laff

Called the local HVAC place yesterday and said that my A/C is "struggling to keep up, but technically functioning" and the lady on the phone said "hah, me too" and I'm worried I didn't laugh hard enough at it and might have given her a complex.

Okay I found the most depressing post

petitioning the emoji consortium to plead for the inclusion of both :toot: & :confuoot:

I don't get how the male loneliness epidemic can be a thing when collectible card games exist.

if you get The Zoomies you will not see Heaven

Boob culture is about providing for all, feeding the hungry, milk for all who need it. It is inclusive, nourising. Butt culture is all about evacuating waste, getting rid of the "undesirable elements", the idea that there is "poop" that needs to be removed from society. It is fascist to the core.

damp mids

Credit cards are very convenient and all, but it's crazy that we've just accepted that there will be a(nother) middleman in every single transaction taking 2-3% out while allowing a couple of companies to know about every single purchase we make.

I still love Data, but it's annoying to me that so much sci-fi is "robots with obvious souls denied personhood" when the actual problem in 2025 is "box with face drawn on it now many people's best friend"

When you throw a dead fly in the trash you’re laying it to rest amongst a great fortune like a pharaoh

forcing American car companies to back away from EVs will basically sign their death sentence, they simply will not be able to compete in the global marketplace and the US market will not sustain them

thinking about the best star wars quote again

Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Baby Yoda Tiki Mug. Happy Star Wars Day everyone, July the 6th be with you. www.amazon.com/dp/B08D7WGTC...

Today let’s remember what fireworks actually represent: the glorious ingenuity of the people of China, who have been killin’ it for thousands of years. Way to go guys. 🇨🇳

you don't even have to look at it strategically! people will straight up stop coming to places if there's nothing else there but a strident requirement to stare hard into the abyss at all times

I'm going to tell my kids this was D&D

"You hear that? Char says the souls of the people on Earth are weighed down by gravity." "That makes sense. It's the only reason the audience hasn't left their seats! Dohohoho!"

Anyone got them vids of beyblades going full tilt into a pile of human hair?

Sure, sex is great, but have you ever tried sex v1.01 (minor bug fixes)

This happened to a guy I used to work with.

not the main issue here but i'd really appreciate it if democratic politicians spoke out in support of big-city life and culture with the same energy and reverence that all politicians have for small towns los angeles is "real america" and so are all the other big cities the president hates

godspeed your! tiny penis

Made some Magic: The Gathering cards

lol bro is your wonder even childlike?!?!?!

My uncle was actually born without two wolves inside of him. The doctors said he wouldn’t last a week but he made it 50 years

Trump is treating the country the way a slumlord treats his properties/renters. Radon testing? LOL, why do that? I mean, what if you find something? Black mold behind the drywall? If you can’t see it, then why spend good money getting rid of it. I heard cod liver oil protects against that anyway.