Sorry, we had to cut off social security checks because of the shutdown. Our hands are tied. We're still continuing construction on the president's Pervert Palace though. Some national priorities are too important

It’s so funny that the cult of masculinity thinks that roided-out 80s-movie extras win wars, when the most singularly dangerous and lethal American soldier in WWII was 5’5” and 120 pounds.

is there an app induced gas leak somewhere that makes people write this stuff?

It’s so funny for a US senator to be like “umm… in the time of oppressive government, why are you using your platform to show how I helped enable that oppression?”

honestly doubt that claires sign is real not a single culture warrior would spend any time describing the impact on the workforce.

it's pretty wild to be doing "stop being racist to my computer friend" discourse when the forces of Actual Racism are totally ascendant in government and inventing new ways to arrest people for their skin color every day

The year is 2025. There are three social networks remaining. They are run by Dweeb Lowtax, Tweaker Lowtax, and Girlboss Lowtax. You have to pick at least one.

working on a new unified theory of american reality i'm calling "everyone is twelve now"

when he's right he's right

she sounds like a connor omalley character on xannies well they suck and god is great and we'll be strong and

happy Quiznos Sub Commercial Cake Monsterversaery

If I Did It by Newt OJ Gingirch

People complain about cancel culture but this is the exact reason it's so important to run wife beaters out of public life

Mf named Sven like bruh that's not American, go back to Norseland where the skalds can record your funny shaped dome in the sagas "Uncapped the warrior was, not of bravery, but the mishapen head of a half Jotun, could not a helm in the kingdom fit " looking ass

You should not jack off with shampoo. It may smell nice but it will feel bad ⓘ 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘳𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘢𝘯𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘈𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘧𝘢. 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘴𝘱𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘰𝘳

@guntoucher.bsky.social you made it bud

I love the first guy because that is a family owned location in st Augustine with no lgbt or political indicators. guy just made up that the owner is trans to be preemptively be aggrieved online. right wing dudes in a nutshell

this is one of the funniest posts ive seen this week so wanted to share

A pattern is developing where everyone who fights back against a Trump attack inevitably wins with their reputation much better than before, and everyone who caves to him looks like shit and has Trump coming back for more a month later.

supreme court deciding that there are only two branches without any explanation. power of the purse? don't think so

dudes rock (polish version)

Let me make this very clear: Being sarcastic about sexual assault while also anti science, and scaring pregnant people into not appropriately treating their pain while simultaneously belittling the lives of autistic people is really a full encapsulation of this administration.

When I already took the trash out and did the grocery shopping and my wife asks me to go back out because we're out of dog food

What's the matter babe you've barely touched your event horizon ribs

mind goblin deez nuts? bitch

i had the same screen after declining the "How about a discount?" I hadn't realized how little joy it was providing until they bent the knee. we'd been paying $20/mo and rarely using it but they had to go and fuck it up

sometimes you click on an annoying guy's profile and get a little treat. oh no boys its da facts and logic presenter

The right has never supported freedom of speech. Ever. Anyone who believed they did is not fit to have an opinion on politics.

lol "be very afraid of someone who got the job through nepotism. they will convince young women to become conservative trad wives by continuing his legacy of being annoying"

Watching my buyers find other suppliers after the guy i voted for three times starts a disastrous trade war again after promising to do so during the campaign:

good way to check for tinskins too

Everyone’s dressed up as cowboys, country music is inescapable, every other TV ad is telling you to not be ashamed of being American, networks are backing away from anything that might upset Right Wing Joe Schmoe: We’re back in 2004 baby.

Liberals only understand tone and tenor volume 125. "He never said naughty words or called me personally names while calling some races barbaric or queers insane so while we disagree with him he was still welcome at our mixers."

fbi puts another one in the books. closing the case the way most crime is solved: someone calls and tells them who did it.

dog you will never be president and this is pathetic even for your worthless ass.

Charlie Kirk spent his life‘s work and all of his energy and time targeting out-groups while arguing for a world in which gun massacres would be easy to enact, plentiful, and inevitable, and he became famous and wealthy doing it, and we’re now not supposed to mention that because it’s not polite.

can mind control explain this about the corn? 🧐

Musk pilfered my social security info in plain sight mere months ago and every single week I get another data breach notification letter about my kids' dental records or whatever getting hacked. You cannot make me care about China

My opposition leader told me that death keeps taking his candidates so I asked how many candidates he has and he said he just goes to the hospice and gets a new candidate so I said it sounds like he's just feeding old folks to Death and then his voters started crying

the best thing you can do if you're on twitter is tell various public figures to commit self harm until you're banned. the second best thing is to just deactivate.

intrusive thought: mars needs milfs

remembering how centrists dems got furious that chapo said "bend the knee" when bernie was winning the 2020 primary. now they demand fealty to a doomed loser like gavin newsome 3 years before the butter appreciators in Iowa have even begun their mickey mouse straw poll