not now quarter pounder with cheese

ghosts are so angry because they can't even eat a fucking hotdog it just falls on the floor

edibles is actually short for edwardibles

imagine walking down the beach and seeing jesus carrying some guy

I love when art makes me go "oh my god that's such a fucking mood" about something I never have and never will experience

Fools’ play

why is "smh" shake my hams but "smdh" is salt my dainty hams

Real suggestions from Real RRD employees

Played a session of high-lethality TTRPG FIST and one of my players said "we should get a paper shredder for character sheets" so I grabbed my paper shredder from my office for character sheets and three character sheets ended up going into the paper shredder at the table. 10/10

whenever the sun sets at 4:45 pm i open a window, lean out and yell "WRONG" as loud as i can. that usually buys me another hour or two of sunlight

No animals were harmed during the making of this movie, but we did dress a gerbil up as a magician, which while not technically illegal does seem worth mentioning

#3157 A helpful tutorial

Man, I robbed Metaphor ReFantazio for not giving it my game of the year last year. The only reason I'm not playing it again already is that Atlus probably has The Real Version™️ getting announced any day now.

someone's gotta make a game with a difficulty called Very Normal. that's all I got

Amazing, no notes, I do not desire to learn anything else about this story, for it would only detract from the perfection on this headline.

I made a joke in my main Discord server about DOOM E1M1 being in a major key and @abigbagofkeys.sickonedude.com actually made it. Jesus fucking Christ listen to this hahahaha

Played through Pseudoregalia and Yellow Taxi Goes Vroom this past week and I strongly suspect I have two very good speedruns I should watch now.

Eating a sundae with a long spoon is the height of decadence. The longer the spoon the more decadent it is. Ideally you shouldn't even be in the same room as the sundae

Today is the only day you can repost this

ice cubes are ridiculous. like yeah lemme just get a piece of water

It would take 1.4 billion cats stacked on top of each other to reach the moon. But I've never been able to stack more than 3 or 4 cats so I just don't see it happening

My roommate is playing an old Harvest Moon game on an emulator. When I see her play Stardew she always plays until her character passes out from exhaustion. In this game it punishes you when you pass out with the doctor yelling at you for a few unskippable minutes.

Being alive is hard but you all make it much much easier and worth it 🫶 #nightnighttime

Autocorrect got me good today. Changed "Thanks so much" to "thanks slick" in a work email, so now people think I talk like Tommy Lee Jones in The Fugitive.

Ok hear me out: what if the fuckin ‘corn flakes cure masturbation’ guy had celiac disease, so his bland-ass cereals made his tumby hurt so bad he didn’t want to jork it. And he was like ‘obviously this is true for 100% of humanity’, so that’s why we have Kelloggs

FIST is a banger of a game. Had a player die and unleash a kaiju only for their next character to paradrop in onto the kaiju and use her demolition expertise to blow it up

Important reminder

Doctor: do you smoke? Me (thinking he means cooking pop tarts in my smoker and then eating them): two boxes a day

whenever I'm grumpy for no apparent reason, the first question I ask myself is "am I still wearing hard pants?", and if the answer is "yes", following that with "does this situation require wearing hard pants?"

TTRPGS are about cookingwith friends and then looking at the meal and going "What thefuck is wrong with us"

kiryu kazuma, patiently responding to someone repeating to him over and over "i like food. i want food.": naruhodo.

tl when none baseball: i like baseball :) tl when baseball: ooouuuyyrrrrrgh free me from this prison of the fleeeesh

The pettiest reason I want the Dodgers to lose is that their stadium sound system will not shut up. It's like a circus moved into my backyard while I'm trying to watch baseball

Cutting off pieces of a hotdog with a pocket knife like an old farmer with an apple

Sadako crawling out of your tv, turning motion smoothing off, then crawling back in

Love these pics from a store page for drywall anchors

you should be able to steal a home run if you want to. just drop the bat and try to book it for the fence before anyone can tag you. if you can make it all the way out there and throw yourself over the fence, you're good

Got clocked at the club as someone who knows how to waltz

hey "nice" manbun haha it fuckin sucks you hipster asshole [he turns around and reveals he is a waddle dee from the tokugawa shogunate] oh fuck

Incredible infographic at the state fair

My main hobbies