"thanks for your payment!"

FRÖTTÄGE

need the kind of muscle release that makes you sob

If I were the opposition party I'd be saying anyone involved in creating this corrupt scheme will be prosecuted but also anyone accepting payments from it will at minimum be required to pay back the full sum with interest

Also the next somebody says reparations for black people is a ridiculous idea, remind them that we have a reparations program for trying to overthrow the government

“Instead of student loan forgiveness we’re doing a coup forgiveness program”

gonna start calling all these shows and movies with bad contrast gray blahness "graded for dog vision"

everyone in that room including the judge should be fired and face severe consequences. appalling

reminder - unfollow before blocking. if you block before unfollowing, he'll still show up as being followed by you.

that it has taken nearly 20 years to even attempt this sucks

Peanuts by Schulz: Saturday, July 19, 1952

ODYSSEUS:

This Rose-breasted Grosbeak is my #BirdOfTheDay for today’s alt theme, #songbirds. #birds #ECK

fingers burnt by lit match for a candle long gone

gromit but puppy

The ex-paladin and the wizard go for a walk. The wizard picks raspberries and the ex-paladin carries his basket.

yeah sure, i got a hog…… a heart of gold 😏

Actual life hack: you’ve gotta be the person who’s bringing two people to almost everything you’re invited to unless it’s, like, a seated dinner reservation. Combine the social circles. You don’t need to make an individual catchup date with everyone you know. *That* is what is holding you back.

Star Wars will be like, “Lieutenant Beck is fearless and respected by his colleagues. He’s a war hero and the leader of this mission. We’re in good hands,” and then they cut to him and this is what he looks like

hey I have a name

Some Time Alone

☁️

it's funny to think about mando being grogu's daddy or whatever but when it comes to taking care of himself he's like a feral child

nuke-acabra

SHREW PARTY

born under a bad sign yeah, the uh—the neon was leaky

those grand fresh-water seas of ours,—Erie, and Ontario, and Huron, and Superior, and Michigan,—possess an ocean-like expansiveness, with many of the ocean’s noblest traits

if i was going to give a college commencement speech i would make sure to start with something the students could rally behind. something like "we will mechanically suck the youth from your bones to feed a mechanical eschaton, which my generation will use to climb heaven and become new gods"

Birth rate discourse is like “It turns out if you give women more choices, they’re less likely to make ones that make their lives harder.” Which is really helpful in figuring out how we can improve society somewhat. But instead people are like wow giving women more choices was a mistake

Farewell.—Come hither to me.

Yogurt...but it's just the water (investors groan) ... and it has AI (investors nod eagerly, one hands me his children to keep)

the school year just ended and I already miss indoctrinating students into cultural Marxism and extremist gender ideology

Uh, yeah. 1000%. I spent hours, days tracking down citations. That’s part of the damn job. The scholar who said they would put a 1yr ban on AI hallucinated citations is absolutely right. So right it’s hard to quantify, since the counter “argument” is explicitly anti science.

Gorgeous lazuli bunting singing today.

funny to see these guys get a reality check outside of their bubble and find out we all hate them

I didn't know yesterday was the Loser Bowl

Are you challenging me?

tally me banana

when I say things like “this is downstream of Dems not believing in anything” people jump into my replies and say Dems believe in abortion, fighting racism, and LGBT rights, and the answer to that is: not according to the scoreboard

italian medievalist problems

shield maiden of the crystal ✨🔮🗡️

Boxer's Omen getting a strong endorse :)))

⚔️

*stares in traumatized lecturer of italiano per ispanofoni*

I think if you are foolish enough to do this you deserve the lesson

your moment of calm