i’m doing an in office sleep study tomorrow lmao they’re gonna be like what the FUCK is this

a man with his head out of his ass is a beautiful thing to witness

just pulled this out of my purse, absolutely no idea where it came from

truly i do wish i could suck my own

my hair air dried like this tonight ??

Suck em if ya got em (beautiful boobs)

i don’t know about yall but i literally can’t perceive myself without a mirror

on average i forget 12.5 epiphanies per night

yall mind if i spiral a lil closer to the truth rq

not to brag or anything but i’ve dropped my vape like 17 times tonight

writing a movie where i cut myself open and blood and guts spill everywhere and everyone claps. they liked that & only regret i cannot do it again

am i still a panty sniffer if i only ever sniff my own

LFG stands for lime fucking green

I like to heckle the TV when I’m watching Arthur or whatever with my kid… like be so serious right now Binky!!!

what’s something americans are allowed to joke about but other countries can’t? i’ll go first: school shooters

u know what i mean?

kai winn and captain janeway would get along famously

what’s a little cum among friends

life is pain (neither complimentary or derogatory, just an impersonal fact)

i work at the department of portents and omens and we keep sending out all these portents and omens and they’re ominous and everyone just keeps laughing????

space ghost ass to ass

do you ever get nervous, kitten

are you embarrassed, playboy

i’m trying 😭😭😭

There’s Something Going On Here

Speaking as someone who imprinted on Trent Reznor like a baby bird in summer '94, that Coachella set was extremely sick

just realized if i ever get murdered and its staged to look like a suicide, there will be a preponderance of evidence that i was actually planning to kill myself on the internet lmao

just passed a lighting company van that was using the american horror story font LMFAO

Alright, you heathens, here's an mp4 file of the entire Nine Inch Noize set at Coachella: Don't say I never did nothin' nice for ya 🏴‍☠️

oh no it’s even worse now

👍

told marty, like 5 years ago i didn’t want my whole personality to be “is horny” but maybe that really is all there is to me

don’t have a paper copy of my audiobook rn and it’s driving me insane

marinating the pussy in sweat for extra flavor

da?? daddy?? mommy!?

just learned that trent reznor has SIX KIDS and it’s made me so unspeakably horny i can barely breathe

overslept an entire first date but he forgives me 😌😭

sleepy girl swag

did u know a group of worms is just called a bunch

i’m always saying: worms!!!!

Im_Doing_My_Part.gif

my most unrealistic self-belief is that in the court of ancient kings, i would’ve been a favored courtier.. instead of dead from shidding out my doodoo ass

at the function tonight there was a strip club convo & everyone’s lookin at me waiting for me to chime in like…. sorry gang I know I’m famously naked online but strip clubs give me ptsd flashbacks…. ain’t got nothing to say that won’t make everybody here feel bad lmao

i wish i had the audhd that gives you a fat ass

anybody got any contacts

my right eye will not stop watering

tit o’ the wife to ya

wishing that ent with the big belly who smashes those two orcs together at the storming of isengard a good evening

me and bestie just figured out that our nail tech has been trying to come out to both of us indirectly/separately and we’ve both been oblivious bc we both have autism lmfao

lost in his chest hair