There was actually a time quite recently when the Young People still used Tinder (Published around the time of Dawn Chorus Day)

BUT NOT LIKE THAT, DIANE

Baleen Baleen Baleen Baleeeeeeeen I'm begging you get krill for my man

They don't like being locked away in churches, they want to roam wild.

Revealed preferences theory suggests that Wall Street executives value their ability to call their subordinates gay at approximately 8 trillion dollars

I have tariffed the penguins that are on Heard Island and which you were probably assuming did not export goods forgive me they were taking advantage of us so cunning and so cold

One of my friends is a Freemason in Blackpool and I keep telling him he should pitch a name change “The Blackpool Illuminati”

It's okay Amy. We don't want to be in their stupid film anyway.

"I was eating Cheerios and then bye bye tooth" - my son, to government of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

Not Toast?

Every mind-bending TV show:

In the House of Commons, the chief whip is the one with a walnut on their head.

I tell my cat “I know” when she meows at me but if I’m being honest? I don’t always know

I DEMAND MY HIGH CULTURE BACK!

My little neice Olivia has the worst case of hemorrhoids the doctor says he's ever seen.

A trillion! That’s … *checks with ChatGPT* … almost a million!

I lol'd

Turns out the DeepSeek AI was just three old Nintendo Wiis in a trenchcoat.

“Select all squares containing J D Salinger books” - CAPTCHA in the Rye.

this is so fucking funny man i cannot believe conservatives are even alive

The year is 2035. I meet President AOC in the Oval Office. "You've done well," she says. "By telling men to dress gay, you've lowered the population rate by 90%, thereby reducing carbon emissions." She slides me a manilla envelope. I can now afford a home in a walkable neighborhood

hi mate the AI analysed your NHS records in 0.1 seconds and you’re booked for an assisted death at 7am tomorrow. no sorry you can’t have the afternoon off work

Just call on me and I'll send it along With love from me to you to me to you - The Chuckle Beatles.

a TSA agent opens my luggage to inspect it and is greeted with a sign that reads, “THERE ARE 100 HAMSTERS IN THIS BAG. IF YOU KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT YOU CAN HAVE ONE OF YOUR CHOICE”

Lost my thesaurus. I've lost it. It's lost.

University Challenge is a lot like sex. It gets more frantic towards the end and then there's a gong & Amol Rajan tells you the scores.

Graham McCann covered "Live into 85" as well. This is a top notch account of an extraordinary fiasco. www.comedy.co.uk/features/com...

If you see this car, please call the police. It's stollen.

A very, very unfortunate choice of photo

Went coarse fishing yesterday. Caught two fucking fish.

incredible plot summary

Hit a slowpoke with my car this morning

“I know what it says, but what does it mean?”

doctor: lets test your reflexes me: thats a regular hammer doctor: then i hope theyre good

Oh, the grand old duke of york He ██████████████████ He ██████████████████ And he ██████████████████

inventor of musicals: what if we ruined a movie every 15 minutes

Mitchell Starc is so good with the pink ball, you can see why they used to try and sand the colour off the red one for him.

Wasn't all that long ago the meerkat was complaining about compare the market having a domain name too similar to his own. Now he's merrily selling their wares. It seems everyone has a price.

MY DOG (sitting at the dining room table, doing his homework): What does anthropomorphise mean?

"... and THIS is the world if you'd never been born" "it looks exactly the same" "no, look closer ... your parents built that extension they wanted"