jonk
@jonk.bsky.social
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jonk
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Please, step into my office.
about 1 year ago
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Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: no clue officer, Officer: 😤 Have you been drinking tonight? Me: only beers, sir (one hundred Dr Pepper cans fall out of my car door) Officer: book em, boys
about 2 hours ago
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Just learned I wasn’t supposed to don my gay apparel until now… erm, who was gonna tell me!!
about 2 hours ago
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I saw Mario in the cup-de-sac testing out a gift he received from princess toadstool presumably. It looked to be some sort of weapon to use against the koopa. He looked a little too happy to brandish it
about 3 hours ago
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Not many know the “Holly” of “Holly Jolly Christmas” refers to Buddy Holly. The “Jolly” is of course in reference to Jaller, who was a Ta-Matoran from the city of Metru Nui, and was the Guard Captain of Ta-Koro on Mata Nui that would later go on to become a Toa.
about 3 hours ago
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Holly AND jolly? In this economy?
about 3 hours ago
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Joy fans will delight tomorrow
about 20 hours ago
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One sant of claus will visit tonight
about 20 hours ago
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Xmas? We celebrate Blueskymas in my householf
1 day ago
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Merry “X” -mas eve
1 day ago
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The Farter’s Companion Readers Digest
2 days ago
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Barkeep! One coke of cola if you wouldn’t mind,,
2 days ago
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Feels good to be on break, I can’t wait to sleep in until 6 or maybe even 7
2 days ago
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Yes officer I saw him. Of course I could describe him. Well, there’s no way around it, he was Flintstonic. I shit you not officer,
2 days ago
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I need you guys to all write Santa and tell him how good I’ve been. Some double agents have been feeding him lies about my movements
2 days ago
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Oh is a christball happening 🙄
3 days ago
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Guys I haven’t showered since last year
3 days ago
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I’m just like Guts Berserk but the demons hunting me are ECDs
3 days ago
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Microwaving fish in the line to get in to heaven
3 days ago
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The Brits love efficient chips
5 days ago
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Going to the doctor later to get obliterated
5 days ago
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(Waking up from a years long coma) wha… what happened? Doctor: you got owned
6 days ago
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Hey Siri. Do you think I’m still epic
6 days ago
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Top five most epic agenda items
6 days ago
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We have an epic agenda today guys
6 days ago
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Excuse me, is there anything epic on the menu?
6 days ago
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(At a movie theater) any issue if I enjoy this rack of ribs in there
6 days ago
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Something epic just happened
6 days ago
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They should of called it the Nintendo 67
8 days ago
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Have yourself. a stinky little shitmas, In your pants tonight
8 days ago
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I ordered a Big Mac meal at Macdonald and they served me a rat wrapped up in the same paper
8 days ago
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Rubbing my hands together like a fly at the function
9 days ago
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Guys who make deals with me love rubbing their hands together like flies
9 days ago
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The snack that smizes back
9 days ago
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(coughing up a rat) here your go 🫴
9 days ago
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Billy Joel voice Om us a Bud, you’re the Ombudsman,
10 days ago
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Me: you telling me this cendence is trans? Ancient monk: 🙂↕️ yuh pretty much
10 days ago
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reposted by
jonk
journeyman folklorist
10 days ago
Fans of misery are in for a treat
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10 days ago
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This is Peak character design imo
11 days ago
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👮♀️: do you know why I pulled you over? 😥: (gulp) what kind of cannon cop are you, with respect to rules?
12 days ago
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The ritual is complete Geoff keighley is sealed away for another year
14 days ago
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You could say I am a sort of jack off all trades
14 days ago
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Coworkers keep folding me into different origamis
16 days ago
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reposted by
jonk
Quest Abandoner
16 days ago
(Crouching down, placing one hand on some train tracks) Someone must have worked all the live long day on whatever this is ..
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My name is Fieval Neitzat-Freddy
17 days ago
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17 days ago
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Five nights at Freddy’s is so cool I wish pizza was real
18 days ago
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I got caught in the middle of a couple of Foodons fighting as a toddle. I was hospitalized for eight months. Ever since that day I’ve been terrified of food
18 days ago
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You should legally be allowed to hunt and kill another person if you are a little bit hungry
20 days ago
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reposted by
jonk
Snowpy
2 months ago
“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials.
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