Certain weather outside is frightful

Hell yeah boibo

If you need me I’ll be busy for the next ever

David Spade implies the existence of David Neutered

Doctor: do you smoke? Me (thinking he means cooking pop tarts in my smoker and then eating them): two boxes a day

Thinking about getting scared but it will have to wait for next year…

Stuff off the floor taste better

Trade or Joes

Jesus loved to create value for shareholders

i went to the desolate lands and there was no one left to know you

Halloween’s over. Just kidding you can still be scared. Halloween fools

Trickle down treatonomics

Big monster stepped on me to death. Just kidding Halloween fools

Turned into a big monster. Just kidding. Halloween fools

Just died from passing away. Just kidding. Halloween fools

Boo!

Boo!

Viewer beware… you’re in for a scare… 👹

This is the only day you can post this

Remember the reason for the season

Trick or Treating was invented when Trichard O’Treaty held up his entire village at gunpoint

Pour a sugar on me!

Milking an oat

it was not worth the ten years learnimj to read

Seeing a lot of JO Lanterns in the neighborhood

So I bake in the morning and I make some pies And I grab a deep dish use it for key lime

Is this a bad time to admit I just finished installing a poop hatch on my fighter jet

Call me Josh the way I “grow bands” (get money)

mariners lost

“Heavy breathing” has got the same meaning as a spoonerism. “Breathy heaving”

Gauze bandages were invented by Dr. Terrence Gauze who famously tried to stop bleeding

Neil Armstrong was my nephew.. up until the incident

I just tripped and my swag reset to level 1 and I lost all my abilities

Powering up my swag exponential style

(getting eaten by a pack of feral dogs) can you google will a dog be ok if it eats me

one or two

(getting eaten by a pack of feral dogs) can you google will a dog be ok if it eats me

Gupp just sent me a $10000 bill in the mail #USPS

I got that dog in me, world is my hot car, god refuses to break a window, etc

Vin “Mo” Diesel

(throwing up blood) uh oh i did not eat that much blood

“start your free trial now” what if i told u i am already experiencing trials.

Spirit Halloween gotta be one of America’s favorite fear mongers

15 birds in the hand is worth 30 in the bush

Mega bonk

Ground pounding through a tall tower of crates would fix me

Ground pounding through a tall tower of crates would fix me