Two new fuzzy dinosaur lumps have just hatched!

I think that’s cheating

I am once again begging, praying, weeping for lists of written instructions rather than videos. I do not want to watch your two minute video in the hope of catching the two seconds where you whizz past what goddamn menu the thing is under. Write. It. Down.

It’s absurd that Wes Streeting doing anything should affect literally anything else. In a just universe he’d be excluded from the laws of physics.

That Wes Streeting leadership bid in full:

yay weekend

Exam graffiti, 2026

I still love the theory a Year 6 child proposed to me that David Attenborough is actually God and he got fed up with people not noticing the amazing things he'd created, so he made documentaries to show off.

AI is the Japanese Knotweed of technology.

Just seen Richard Dawkins telling a speak your weight machine that it's wearing a smashing blouse.

Alien 3 (1992)

10/10 to Skosh in York for the naming of this cocktail.

Friday! New CEEFAUX! Exclamation marks!

I had some people round for dinner last night, and I tried to impress them with a sauce created from vodka, gravy and nitrous oxide. But all I've done is make myself an absolut laughing stock.

“Hello, Emily. This is Gladys Murphy up the street. Fine, thanks. … Say, Emily, could you go to your window and describe what’s in my front yard?”

Spring is in the air

Erm, they're called palaeontologists, actually.

Ivo Graham was one of the guests on our Horne Section podcast last month and he brought along this incredible Taskmaster/Abba crossover song with him! Full video: youtu.be/sfksFAMdVZc?...

I must have this. @zomda.bsky.social and @rogger.bsky.social You must make this happen.

I’m not sure which of these comments wins the internet more.

No thoughts. Just vibes.

So if AI Psychosis is a thing that happens because the human mind breaks when it's trapped by a sycophant who affirms every thought, agrees with every delusion - does this give us a window into what's been happening into the ultra rich , and why they're such broken people?

Here are some of the things I have said to one of my cats in the last 15 minutes: “Get out of the sink” “Don’t eat the plant. It’s plastic” “Don’t lick the plates. They are for humans” “Don’t try and jump in the bath when it is full of water” (1/2)

I want to get up, but someone is using my foot as a pillow.

Valtteri is fascinated by the rugby. Interestingly enough he is less bothered by F1.

I simply refuse to believe this isn’t a Chris Morris sketch:

Can this be a solution?

90s Captain Ahab: Thar she blows. Thar she blows again.

@zomda.bsky.social Happy Birthday! Hope you’ve had a good day. 🎉🎂🎁

"We called London a war zone and moved to Dubai by mistake"

As a professional military strategist, I just wanted to make sure everyone has a full understanding of the American strategy in Iran, thank you for your attention to this matter

The talk to your friends app and the witness the horrors app being the same app is not great for the mental health is it

Ok I have far too much to do today to spend more than 2 minutes on this but here’s my political cartoon of the day, please enjoy

Give us a day off like when the arseholes get married.

Once again, I must remind people, there is a Rage Against the Machine tribute act from Tipperary called... Fecking Ragin' I've seen them and they do, indeed, Rock 🤟

Are all cats freaked out by their own tails, or do I just keep adopting the weird ones?

mom they’re roasting the US economy on mastodon again

As I know a few dual nationals, just flagging this issue in case anyone is not aware: www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

Inevitably, their affair ended: Howard worried excessively about what the pack would think, and Agnes simply ate the flowers.

Absolute dickheads.

Anna’s nice relaxing bath 0 - 1 Soggy, disgruntled cat.

Phrases I have uttered since getting kittens (part of an all-to-frequent series): “Don’t hang off the sash window” “Zips are not edible” “Why are you screaming at the ceiling?”

people are always asking me professor kiosk why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near and I say to them fools that’s classified no one will ever know the secrets of my cockatoo army

Mark Rutte has handed Donald Trump a piece of paper with ‘turn over to read our Greenland offer’ on both sides & that will occupy him for weeks

I'm not saying Trump is a Russian asset, just that I can't think of anything he'd be doing differently if he were.

happy 93rd birthday to John Boorman