Still working on this important technology. Tell your friends @sextipsbot.bsky.social will launch SOON.

He looks like he’s trying to stop his dog from leaving him

I once shouted out of my car window "Haha! You life is over!" to what I thought was a wedding outside of a church. I was then smacked by my girlfriend saying "What did you say that for?". It was a funeral. Walton in Essex. Must have been around 2008.

Saxon monarchs always sound so delicious. King Egbred. Prince Hamwig. Queen Sexburga.

Good morning to Brazilian reporter Manuela Borges, who’s been waiting eleven years for this petty moment. ❤️ 🇧🇷

Disturbing to hear the scientist has rejected all criticism of genetically engineering ducks to have twice as thick layers of under-feathers. They doubled down.

One for the kids

Never became as popular as "ET Phone Home" did it

Andrew is a sort of non-prince now, a… well, I’m sure there’s some sort of portmanteau word that would describe him well.

Some good news amidst all the darkness

#strictly #verystrictly

The BBC are accidentally running the subtitles to Mrs Marple over the Mercury Prize, and it’s rather wonderful. A few of lines could plausibly have been written by Jarvis.

Sunrise in Jezero Crater, Mars, 4 September, 2022.

They should do a Colombian remake of Scooby Doo where the gang brings Pablo Escobar to justice and he says "And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you Medellín kids"

Call me a prude if you want to, but I do think it's really weird to use your conference speech to list your favourite wanking euphemisms

Just gonna leave this here

I doubt this is actually true, but I really hope it is because the idea makes me chuckle

Catastrophic subtitling on the 1941 movie "Love on the Dole". (It should read "She's a strange lass, is our Sal"...)

I am THIS old

Sonic the Hedgehog gets his appendix out

Is that the hieroglyph for Divorce

"Scrooge!" Marley wailed, "three spirits will manifest before you on this night." "One of them will be Greg Wallace wearing a sock over his cock." Marley continued, apologetically. "He says it's an autism thing." "That sounds..." Scrooge began. "Yes, it's absolute nonsense." Marley agreed.

Hear me out here: pangolins are nothing more than the Clangers' warrior caste...

So far, so farcical #austriangp

An actual shower of shite. I’ve not done any matching drill for thirty years, but I’d bet the house on my being better than this shambling mob…

Well, quite.

starting a “barely legal” onlyfans which is just videos of cars doing 29.9mph in a built-up area

It was right there… www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

JK Rowling has gotten a lot of hate lately, but I think we can give her even more

It would be very healthy for human species, If there is less Discouragement.

I’m not classically educated, but I know a trap when I see one.

Spotted this delightful fellow on yesterday’s walk. Doesn’t it just make you smile?

What a ridiculous creature.

Isn’t the universe just fucking AMAZING?!

Wow. How beautiful is this?

@bringitonskippy.bsky.social @adelepascale.bsky.social Is this your sanderling?

Please. Credit to @sliceofmallow.bsky.social

Anyways...

In honor of the Ides of March, I bought three Caesar salads, but I only et tu.

Poor old space Karen. 😂😂

The thing you don’t expect when starting a new job is to have *too many* ideas. Goes to show how little my brain was being used at my last gig, I suppose.

Hardwood xkcd.com/3051