if you’re having a bad morning just think that you could be the person in the philadelphia office of emergency management who sent out a citywide text alert with a link to chubbyparade dot com

as we celebrate the most sacred holiday in the calendar I just want to let everyone know that every small boulder is just a large boulder the size of a small boulder please use caution.

Calling transphobia a 'gateway drug' to the far right undersells it. It's pure accelerant. Grimly fascinating to guess what crankery becomes any famous transphobe's secondary obsession, cos they all have one: 15 minute cities are fascism! Grok noncing is cool! ICE are good! We should kill all dogs!

Okay, so this now looks a lot like the Slippin’ Jimmy thing from Better Call Saul: walk into the bar then do a flying header into the fire extinguisher, and phone your lawyer. Again, it’s a nexus of: well-connected wingnut cranks, the Times newspaper and billionaire legal funding.

Reminder that British journalists have a weird fetish for Harry Potter because it's a fantasy world where nobody mentions how fucking weird it is that everybody was privately educated in just five schools

Some safety tips for the big storm! Be safe, everybody.

Look the horrors are fucking endless but sometimes I make or paint something, sometimes I do both. Make things! It makes life a little bit more bearable. This thing is a magician. Polymer clay, heavy body acrylic. Practice piece for a thing I want to make later in the year.

Border Patrol chief Greg Bovino discovered to have been one child in a trenchcoat

Man who works in sewer wonders why there's all this shit down here.

ripping the LaserDisc for Beastmaster II and it contains one of my favorite bits of distracting dubbing in history

Look the horrors are fucking endless but sometimes I make or paint something, sometimes I do both. Make things! It makes life a little bit more bearable. This thing is a magician. Polymer clay, heavy body acrylic. Practice piece for a thing I want to make later in the year.

Holy cow they’ve lost Mumm-Ra

This tier one special forces operator cannot wrap his mind around the organizing principles of Girl Scout cookie drives

Yes, Oceans Are Now Battlefields Until recently, I thought nothing stood in the way of napoleon becoming master of europe

Liz Truss waiting patiently by her phone for Reform to ring, not realising it's actually a penguin biscuit

Two-tier public services on display once again, as Tory HQ gets its rubbish collected once a week

Hi, it's me, your energy company. Your average spend is £100/month, so we're going to take £300/month because we think you're going to start running a 24/7 hog roast out of your back garden any second now.

Stalinism is when you can walk places

Absolutely nothing says “I love Jair Bolsonaro” like getting sent to hospital for something deeply weird.

Captions you can use for retro urbanism ~and~ shaky video footage from a fur con room party...

ICE just crashed a car at my intersection (due to their own shitty driving) and immediately got out and tear gassed observers.

Two possibilities here. 1) this chemical activates random floating shapes in your vision but connects them to the person-recognition pathway, so you identify them as tiny people 2) this switched off the bit of the brain that stops us from seeing Them

the president wont see your posts making fun of how he's looking these days but your friends whose skin seems to be sloughing off in wet discolored chunks as the psychic weight of their craven wretchedness becomes manifest will

Netflix keeps sending me emails saying "Hey we've added something you might like!" and unfailingly it's a documentary about child murder. I don't really watch a load of child murder documentaries, truth be told, I'm not sure what data they're working with here.

Yeah this is a great analogy if you want your product to be viewed as a cumbersome novelty filled with features barely anyone uses.

Saw Hamnet. Do you think if you told the Shakespeare family that the play William wrote to memorialize their son would one day be adapted into the FX original series "Sons of Anarchy," it would make them feel worse or better

Just been served the greatest thumbnail of all time

Very cool—thanks for the update! Today I got gassed by the federal government two times within a few blocks of my house

[AI bubble bursts] billionaire tech bro: the stupid consumer did not understand it

I hereby establish this as my new catchphrase.

Just been served the greatest thumbnail of all time

My personality? Probably alcoholism and the biggest stores you can name.

If anyone has lost the attendees of a halfwit convention, they’re all the Big Tesco.

I know what it is in real life but any time I hear the word Davos my brain files it as "skrull with the powers of five members of the New Mutants or something"

how advanced is your nation's sinophobia? very? extremely? you are like baby, we are inventing sinophobia the likes of which cannot be dreamt of www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article...

If you have two new pets, is it weirder to name them Mum and Dad, or give them the first names of your parents?

They had the audacity to claim Bluesky didn't have the juice, but not since peak Twitter have I logged off for an evening and come back to my entire feed speaking in a new language of rapid-fire in-jokes that I have to reverse-engineer to figure out what's happening. That, my friends, is The Juice.

Shouldn’t laugh, am laughing.

someone turned my post about Gnosticism into a meme and there are comments like “ugh this will draw more attention to Gnosticism” and like why are you gatekeeping knowledge of the malevolent demiurge? it feels like if that’s what’s going on then it’s something we should probably be telling people

whenever I accidentally open threads from instagram it looks like the fake social media app they put into a city builder. "Wow, I love the mayor's new policy!" sims-ass website

i don't think Bluesky will get popular but in case it does, now is the time to carve out your corner. you could be the MAIN guy for the Beautiful South. you could start a Beautiful South fan account and when everyone finally comes here you'd basically be in charge of all the Beautiful South stuff

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

oh it's going to be a Recession recession

Fucking wild that our society is so attuned to accepting bigotry now that a national newspaper like the Daily Express can somehow get away with publishing blatant libel with absolutely zero pushback or consequence.

At what point does losing 77 billion dollars impact a business? The global box office for all movies, put together, in total, all movies everywhere in 2025 was 33.5 billion dollars. He lost more than double that on “legs”