Thriller idea: man with world's second smallest penis has to stop him.

Not saying I have chronic pervert brain, but when my husband just text me "I think I need to get my ring resized" I'd already typed the predictable Grindr joke before I even remembered we'd been talking about jewellery earlier.

Casting a powerful incantation to prevent another heatwave (trying to buy shorts)

Are you telling me your "dining across the divide" series achieved nothing?

client feedback in the GenAI era

If you’re in Cambridge please come and buy my pots, they’re quite nice but more importantly I’ve got too many and don’t want to have to pack them all back up again on Sunday and bring them home. 10am-9pm Sat, 10am-6pm Sun, Kiln Cambridge, Ditton Walk off Newmarket Rd.

Someone in the replies wrote "TRAMS RIGHTS" and I only stopped giggling after a whole two minutes.

I can't believe people use AI when memes thrown together in 30 seconds using Microsoft Paint are so much funnier.

"Picky bits" and "Chippy tea" are the Boaty McBoatfaces of food terminology

The hill I will die on: any Immigration Debate is a Racism Debate. Stopping people coming into a country illegally is not an immigration issue, it’s a security issue, like stopping drugs or guns. Any other immigration talk is just about keeping out people you don’t like.

Andy-capitalism

In this heat, pretend you're on holiday abroad by drinking beer at 8am and then going to Asda wearing a bikini and flip flops to buy 4 giant bags of crisps and a bottle of water.

"Physical damage, my one weakness!" cried Moriarty, as Holmes kicked him in the nuts

I should switch to mostly using Bluesky on my PC. That way I can put a post-it on my monitor saying “it’s probably context collapse” and save a lot of energy.

It is a very British trait to huff and puff about business as usual when you could make a slightly different choice that makes everything nicer for everyone, but is perhaps slightly less usual.

Me: I was doing ok with the heat, not great, but coping. The humidity today is a bit much thou- Climate change: ho ho ho SPORADIC RAIN, MOTHERFUCKER

Technically, they’re Remains now.

God, this is it, isn’t it? “She took the kids so I vibe coded a dating app”, repeated thousands of times across LinkedIn

One from the vaults. No reason. www.gawkerarchives.com/culture/i-sh...

Oh now this is rather good.

Don't think I'll ever stop being winded by seeing an official government agency sending out life-critical communications and saying 'You can follow all of our updates on X, the child-abuse generating far-right white nationalist chat room'

In the same way that every hobby has the meta-hobbies of buying and arranging hobby supplies, and arguing about the hobby online, so Brits Talking About The Weather has evolved into comparing fan models and yelling at each other. The circle of life.

He probably wouldn’t want to do Drag Race (although one shouldn’t hasten to judge) but Mama Ru would absolutely give him a prize for that reading challenge

Special mention to all the amazing people working in hospitality this week, especially kitchens and other places that are already hot.

Imagining one of those embarrassing tactical/butch fragile masculinity cosmetics brands, but for really strong sunscreen, called SPF-U

You know, it would make sense if Liz Truss were actually a random phrase generator.

The aircon thing is the same as the food thing - culturally, having been a brutal empire means swiping at Britain is always going to feel like punching down. We’re stuck with that. Throw in folks who style themselves as the good guys in their own dying empire, and it’s just gonna keep happening.

I have to say, it's making me feel a little insane hearing commentators say Ed Miliband shouldn't be chancellor because of his "ideological zeal" for Net Zero, in a week where temperatures are so extreme that my kids are being sent home early every day and it's regularly 30 degrees inside my house

a lot of the responses to this are not “low stakes” and you have to wonder: is there another agenda at play here?

Forget aircon. The most important policy response to the heatwave is we need to bring back louder clothing. So many burlap sacks, so many drab, orphaned shirts.

I’ve just realised why it’s called a funding round.

I’m not reading that SoftBank investor deck because I need my remaining unmelted brain cells for stuff like walking and self-righteous Bluesky posts. But from the bits I’ve seen, almost every product/business decision I’ve ever made has been held to a higher intellectual and evidential standard 🤷‍♂️

I wasn’t listening to the show but this reads like a fascinating glimpse of reactionary dissonance kicking in, in real time. Garraway knows hydration is sensible, but the ostentatiousness of the difference lights up the fuckwit brain and she just says it? Wild.

Absolutely love this

Baffled as to why someone would reply like this. Other than the desperate need to make SOME sort of connection I suppose.

Next time I interview for a product role, I’m going to ask “what’s the piece of tech debt I will come to regard as my personal nemesis?”

The aircon thing is the same as the food thing - culturally, having been a brutal empire means swiping at Britain is always going to feel like punching down. We’re stuck with that. Throw in folks who style themselves as the good guys in their own dying empire, and it’s just gonna keep happening.

Dinner was pretty much just asparagus and an ungodly amount of hollandaise. If anyone asks, all that salt is super important for replacing electrolytes on a hot day. Yes.

Fuck it. Going to water my lawn and if anyone complains, I’m going to say it’s a data centre, that it’s inevitable and you’ve got to get on board or get left behind.

I found a man on tiktok who explains his Warhammer figurines while petting a very happy gray cat, and every time I ask him to give the cat a kiss he does. This is the closest I've ever gotten to understanding Only Fans.

Can highly recommend a Calippo lolly between the boobs, and remembering not to switch your camera on in meetings.

Just saw a conspiracy theorist post this: “Birth control oestrogen in the water is stopping frogs from breading” - and now I have the image of a sad frog who no longer makes chicken nuggets or mozzarella sticks

I just saw someone describe Europe as “refusing” to have air conditioning. This post is, in a sense, me refusing to quote dunk them. But it is also me being unable to quote dunk them for a complex set of contextual reasons. (I blocked their ass on seeing it because yikes, not a good sign)

I love when doctors say "avoid stress" like I can just unsubscribe from economy and become a decorative gargoyle

Back on the other site, years ago, there was a thread about the most pretentious thing people had ever overheard. Someone said they witnessed a guy at an ice cream van asking for 'two Magna'.

Quentin. Duck's name was Quentin.

There is ONE thing I am looking forward to this heatwave: Pictures of paschal candles that have melted in churches. Here's an example from a few years ago. It's my favourite phenomenon. Because, well... Look at it.