So…Aaron Glenn’s sideline celebration is 🔥🔥🔥 with Earth, Wind & Fire attached to it.

A good day to recall when Ron DeSantis was going around with such massive heel lifts that photos of him appeared to be taken mid-Rapture.

Who among us hasn't played "clear out the tunnels on Okinawa" in the bedroom?

Okay I looked it up. “updog” is a bigoted slur against Welsh folks.

"WOW This young girl always wanted to meet Dan Bongino"

I would be so stoked to get the country back from the evangelicals, tbh.

There's a very good reason why it's a very bad idea to let anyone own 38 stations on the same network.

I think the game now is to see who is the last to stop pretending they cared about Charlie Kirk.

the entire second term is just going to be one long object lesson in why corporations used to want their customers to think of them as apolitical

it would actually be discrimination for GWAR to avoid depicting the President getting disemboweled on stage.

When I become president I am banning all stomach/digestive medicine except for Vernors, which is what my mom used to treat my upset stomach when I was a kid. I feel like that's the best cure for indigestion so that's what we're doing.

It’s crazy that ten years into Trump headline writers still treat his pronouncements as if they’re not all lies.

look i actually agree with the president about Tylenol which is why when i become president we are making Dilaudid available OTC

tfw i come on here to tell everyone i have a new, obscure soccer history deep dive coming soon

Tylenol does not cause autism but ibuprofen DOES make you gay

the one trick mods don’t want you to know

The government knowingly putting false information in the label of a drug is crossing a Rubicon that should not be taken lightly

everyone be quiet, this rapist has reproductive health advice for us

“Don’t take Tylenol during pregnancy!! just run that volcanic fever, fetuses love that”

I will celebrate by continuing to not watch Jimmy Kimmel but also being like hey this is good

Wow, so Disney is happy Charlie Kirk is dead now?? Unreal

Breaking: Jimmy Kimmel to return Tuesday.

The Supreme Court is illegitimate and will have to be completely rebuilt from the ground up. I don't see any other argument at this point.

They summarily shitcanned 90+ year-old precedent with no written justification because they wanted to do what Trump wanted them to do ASAP. Just a complete abdication of the Supreme Court's role as they transform themselves into the enforcement arm of the Republican Party. bsky.app/profile/stev...

[naked and stuck like a helium balloon against the Home Depot ceiling during The Rapture]

Me: Guys I have an idea Wayne: What Me: what if we killed someone Carl: What? Like who Me: I dunno maybe that king of the Jews guy he’s always talking shit Carl: I dunno man that seems kind of extreme Wayne: [Looking at the bowl] guys I think something may be wrong with this hummus

I feel that this Chiefs win over the Giants is a more damning indictment of their quality than their two losses

Stephen Miller forgets he's Jewish

Probably important to note this is very standard evangelical lip service that means nothing.

No, that's also Aaron Judge

I lament the fact that they were not able to learn the hard way.

i truly hate that he's genuinely funny

Last month Ketel Marte apologized to his teammates for missing a couple of games after his house was burglarized. It was said that his absence created a "festering" situation in the Dbacks clubhouse. Marte is an MVP-level veteran. Wonder how Cubs vets think about the rookie fucking off for the day.

FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK, BITCH

it's really jarring to see how little media attention the assassination of Minnesota House Speaker Melissa Hortman, her husband Mark and their dog Gilbert received in comparison to the notable death of a non-elected leader of a right-wing organization.

Putting John Lewis in Ronald Reagan and Bull Connor apologia is foul.

If they're going to try and retcon Charlie Kirk, then we should try to retcon him too.

Guy sitting next to me today went on a rant about New York City because there was a mass shooting there a while back. Buddy, wait until you hear about the rest of the fucking country.

they don't want you to joke about a man's death but then they're out there saying things like this

Mr Cait read this and said disgustedly "if he was the man of steel the bullet would have bounced off"

Apollo and Daphne, artist unknown, 1630-60

Michael Kay: "Didn't touch anyone, it's gotta be a hit" That's not the rule.

Everybody knows if you're a catcher who leads the leagues in home runs you're the MVP, like I was telling Salvador Perez the other day.

Reading the new bluesky guidelines and this is fucked. How the hell am I supposed to make money on here now???