"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

Wait, that shitty poem about Jesus' footprints is a true story? search.app/ZLB1g

@thesloppyboys.bsky.social When I saw "Fernet-Branca" and "Hillhurst" in the same article, I had to make sure you guys saw it... share.google/vspKJC2fHclp...

it is apparently the 25th anniversary of the greatest piece of art Denton, Texas, has ever produced

ME: it’s not delivery it’s digiorno HOSPITAL NURSE: um ok let’s get your wife to the digiorno room

Mine is Beverly

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

Movie you’ve watched more than six times with a gif. Hard mode: no Stars (Wars nor Trek), LOTR, or Marvel, Disney Animated or Pixar.

My brain is broken, this is the kind of information it is full of... Quintalist #465 1/5 Disneyland 1️⃣⬜⬜⬜⬜ 2️⃣⬜⬜⬜⬜ 3️⃣⬜⬜⬜⬜ 4️⃣⬜⬜⬜⬜ 5️⃣⬜⬜⬜⬜ Streak: 1 quintalist.com #quintalist

@jasonsheridan.bsky.social, I found your happy place: www.youtube.com/watch?v=j6km...

If anyone needs me I will be in the museum, lying down next to the bog bodies.

I started reading a book about encryption, but it was really hard to get into.

DM: ‘You come to large wooden door.’ Cat: ‘I knock at the door.’ DM: ‘An orc opens it and asks you to come in.’ Cat: ‘I do nothing.’ DM ‘He asks you to come inside again.’ Cat: ‘I do nothing.’ DM: ‘Eventually the orc tires and closes the door.’ Cat: ‘I knock at the door.’

The Sugarcubes are great because whenever I listen to a Bjork song I always wish some random guy was shouting over her

Did you check carousel 9? Sometimes it comes out over there.

ChatGPT is down but The Museum of English Rural Life still stands, proving once again that Silicon Valley cannot compete with the history of rural England and its people.

Capri Sun packages were designed to teach kids how to do emergency tracheotomies

An S.E.A. Historian named Ira Member

sadly the media never reports on the overwhelming majority of white lotus guests who have perfectly normal vacation experiences

@magicaltrash.com wdwnt.com/2025/04/them...

I would hate to be the sales guy at Spam, I bet nobody ever answers his calls.

@brightsunfilms.bsky.social this feels like another documentary up your alley: collider.com/secret-mall-...

If you read all four KISS autobiographies it's like Rashomon for idiots.

🌞 Your Monday Morning Cuteness is a very musical cat and her little sister, tearing it up on the piano & violin

I sincerely don’t know why people aren’t physically stopping those dorks. Move shit. Lock doors. Lose the keys. Everyone switch seats. Turn off all the lights. Switch the signs on the elevator lobby. Make the settings all silly. Use a different language. Wear costumes. Fill rooms with balloons

Thanks Yelp, really dialed in on the needs of San Diego

ninja has to be the most fun brand to work for if your job is naming products. yeah this is the CRUNCHi Portable Air Fry Solution. Put the NeverStick Pro SnapBasket in the SMARTi FryVault Deluxe. then activate Tornado Mode

You've just been thrown to your death by the Beatles.

My favorite Bob Ueker story... www.youtube.com/watch?v=PE7l...

8am meeting illegal??

You're not my real can

I am not “Rick-Rolling” you, we are enjoying a song, together

Want to feel old? What the fuck is wrong with you?

Getting up to do a thing then doing a different thing then sitting down then remembering the thing then getting up ad fucking nauseum: A memoir

At EarthLink, we don’t sell your personal information. We tried, but nobody wants it.

I haven't seen anyone mention the "upside down pineapple" joke in the Skipper Society Canteen on the Disney Treasure... #DisTwitter

Remember kids:

The subtle Star Wars theming in the Concierge Lounge of the Disney Treasure... #DisSky

The singing mariner painting in the Haunted Mansion Parlor on the Disney Treasure #DisSky

Brother Roland - Forever Revered for Embracing the Weird. #DisSky

Love the details on the bread plates at Plaza de Coco on the Disney Treasure #DisSky

About to embark on the Disney Treasure... Should be fun! #DisSky

The best seat in the Skipper Society Bar on the Disney Treasure. #DisSky

Maybe we were too hard on JJ Abrams for "Somehow Palpatine returned."

My son asked why is there a movie called “NOOOOO” 💀💀💀