If the UK is on the brink of civil war, as Musk claims, it follows that in 300 years time there will be be a new generation of civil war re-enactment societies. "Geoff,you defend Laurence Fox. Can you guys shout outside a hostel. Brian, i need you to relentlessly slag off Nish Kumar on Facebook."

Me, giggling like a goblin, strapping myself into the BBC Boss chair, commissioning non-celeb sitcom & sketch show after another. High concept narrative comedies by women! 100 shows with writers rooms! Tell whatever celeb blokes are doing a travel show they can make their own way back from Bordeaux!

Thank you to everyone who credited the original UK outrage calendar. As ever, the calendar is kept under review. For example, both September's events are in jeopardy after a poor showing for the past couple of years, while confected Proms rage also seems to have subsided for now.

New Blueksky eemojis drop for "Of course, that was the exact point I was making" "Explaining it is difficult to fix is not saying we shouldn't try" "I reserve the right to be joyful for a few moments despite everything else going on"

If you’re wondering what a “least weasel” is, they absolutely live up to the name. This is the least amount of animal you can have that can still meet the bar for “is weasel”

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

A woman next to me on the tube earlier was playing Royal Match on her phone. I didn’t think anyone actually played it, I thought it was just bad adverts and weird celebrity endorsements.

succubus - female demon that seduces men incubus - male demon that seduces women vengabus - non-binary demon that likes to party

@saskiadanielceramics.com Loveliness in the post, thank you 🕯️🩶

Saw @bearfacedlady.bsky.social tonight for the first time in months and oh my paws & whiskers it was a long overdue and much needed catch up. We don’t operate on Twitter anymore (like, obvs) but that platform could & did make such wonderful things happen, including our friendship ❤️

www.metoffice.gov.uk/binaries/con... Yes it was that gloomy!

First episode of #DownCemetaryRoad done. It hits hard and works and is horrible and brilliant in all the right and awful places. By which I think I mean it’s good.

Nogbad the Bad.

We are saddened and disturbed by the horrific attack that took place in Cambridgeshire last night. Our thoughts and sympathies are with all those affected during this incredibly difficult time. If you have been impacted, we are here to support you now via our 24/7 Supportline and live chat.

i think ab this terry pratchet quote often rich folk dont get the compounding taxes poor ppl have to pay just to tread water

Reminder: Here's what Nigel Farage tried to take away from you this week...

I am already investing way too much of my campaigning time on "My bowl is empty and I have never, ever been fed. I'm so hungry I could die." and "It's raining outside and I love you. It's definitely not because I'm really very soggy indeed."

@marmaladekitten.bsky.social This is a cause you should get behind…

Proper autumnal dish to see in November… 🍁🧡🍷 #BeefCasserole #Autumn #November

Happy All Saints Day whether you celebrate it or not m.youtube.com/watch?v=v0Xe...

A woman is killed by a man every 3 days in the UK... 78% are murdered by a partner/ex Yet not once have I heard Reform talk about this Not once have I heard them back measures to protect women’s safety In fact, they voted against them...

1977) Watchfulbot. Just has some stuff to think about by the sea. Specifically, the return of the Old Gods, for which generations of its forebears have also patiently waited in this spot, holding to the dark covenant etched in the stones.

Furthermore public transit teaches you how to live with temporary minor annoyances and cars teach you that you're god's most special baby and your moment-to-moment comfort is the only important thing in the world

Unsolicited writing advice, no. 5: A book doesn’t need a “serious message” to be worthwhile. Joy is a legitimate end in itself.

And no - this article nor the independent - are as horrendous or as bitter as Jeremy Clarkson, Quentin Letts or the shitrag that is the Daily Mail. But it's this insidious commenting on people's appearance in something pretending otherwise to be political commentary. Do better. All of you.

Telling scary stories around the campfire to young people: "...and you had no way of knowing who was calling. You just had to pick it up." "...co...couldn't you put it on silent?" "There was no silent. And anyone in the house could answer. Even if the call was for you."

"I'm surprised to see you at the entrance to this Boots Chemist, Nancy Sinatra." "I'm guarding it. Only Hollywood stars!" "Can I come in? I need to get my prescription." "Are you Tom Cruise, Schwarzenneger or Christopher Walken?" "Obviously no." "I'm sorry. This Boots is made for Walken."

I dont remember who shared a link to this from @heykidsshop.bsky.social but I’m so glad you did as my boyfriend’s eldest loves it 🖤

The alt text ...

"If your mansion house needs haunting just call Rentaghost"

36 years ago (give or take a few days), Squadron Commander Lord Flashheart turned up in Blackadder Goes Forth and electrified the half hour. The studio audience sound like they're on the urge of going fucking berserk. Anyway, here's a drawing of him, and Driver "Bob" Parkhurst.

955) Nessiebot. Serpentine celtic cryptid pal that likes to pose for blurry photos. #SmallRobotsRemonstered #Halloween

This paragraph feels like one guy stole the other's vowel.

Happypotamus www.worldofmoose.com/collections/...

Great news! Now computers won’t just flirt for you, they will also go on holiday for you. Next we’re hoping to get them to take on the arduous task of listening to the sound of a loved one laughing with joy.

Them: “no one had pronouns in my day” A TV Character from their day:

Volunteering at the Tower of London is a privilege and also a joy when it offers such sights like this… #TowerofLondon #HRPalaces #volunteerVeep

894) Krakenbot. An enormous Octobot variant that loves to give passing ships a friendly cuddle. #SmallRobotsRemonstered #Halloween

If anyone needs me I will be in the museum, lying down next to the bog bodies.

If only there were a French expression to denote an uncanny feeling of having experienced something before

If you are in any way financially, physically, emotionally, mentally, capable of doing something nice for yourself then do it. Just fucking do it. No waiting for a reason or some arbitrary timeline. The world is unredeemingly shit and the only thing that makes it worthwhile is the nice things.

Tylenol doesn’t cause autism. Circumcision doesn’t cause autism. There’s nothing wrong with being autistic anyway. What there is something wrong with is being racist, antisemitic, xenophobic, homophobic, transphobic, and so on, as these are the things that cause division & harm in society.

I know it’s *supposed* to say Trick or Treat, but that’s really not a great font choice from Lidl

I got my winter coat dry cleaned & mended today. My apologies to London & the South East for the heatwave that will now inevitably occur.

Today is a day when arts degrees are worthless, but the product of those degrees is so valuable it would kill an entire industry if they were made to pay for it.

Sure! I made some amazing friends. And I had two books published. That’s great for a lifetime not just the short window of my life where social media has been so prevalent.

Very rare shot of the Arctic Platypus

Six weeks ago, I picked up a year-old tawny owl with a broken leg off the main road near our home and dropped him off at our nearest vet. After a few days, I received one of the most bizarre phone calls I’ve ever had, asking “So when are you coming to pick up your owl?” 🧵

It's an important job!

944) Covenbots. Double, double toil and troublebots. Witchbots three who meet to places hexes, sow curses and generally get up to witchy mischief. Cauldronbot is a repurposed prototype Brewbot. Frogbot not included (but they can turn another robot into one anyway). #SmallRobotsRemonstered #Halloween