Replace "love" with "lunch etc Lunch Missile F1-11

I'm waiting to collect the car. Angel Eyes by Wet Wet Wet is on the radio, as if things weren't bad enough.

I still maintain that the only reason I passed A level general studies was because I borrowed my mates dad's monty python records. @joescaramanga.co.uk

Totally

And now we wait

I sit, contemplating, whilst some poor sod assembles a double sausage and egg mcmuffin for me to squidge into my face. I reflect, upon the decisions that have lead me here, but I have hope. My most fervent hope is for the wife's car that I just dropped off to pass it's MoT.

My it's cold.

I've got a great idea for a livestock trading app called JustBleat.

Help me choose the correct acronym, Bluesky: MAMWIG - Middle Aged Men WIth Guitars Or MAMWAG - Middle Aged Man With A Guitar It's for my CV so no pissing about.

The fucking Poke. Seriously?

Do you ever feel like you are the only sane one in an asylum?

"There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis, but he's a liar because I'm Elvis, and Santa Claus, and the Daily Llama ..."

The biggest act of generosity I can generally muster these days is when I see a friend's FB post in favour of Farage or Trump and I just unfollow them without any use of the words "stupid" or "fucking" or "twat" at all.

Yesterday I got added to a blocklist of people who were anti AI. The user wanted to give Pro ai users, or antiantiAI as they called it, protection from us naysayers. No followers, no posts. Berk.

Test Match Cricket.

Farewell Dickie Bird. Stumped on 92.

If Putin had simply asked trump to kill as many Americans as possible, would we actually be able to tell?

Medicine is bad for you now, America. Luckily, you can't afford it anyway.

What time is the rapture then? Are we on GMT or Eastern Standard Time? Have I got time for another brew?

Imagine a world where just over a year ago a labour government was elected with a huge majority and a mandate for change and they had spent the whole of that year driving that positive change instead of dancing to the tune of a frog faced racist the whole time.

"You couldn't make that TV program which is on constant repeat on E4 today!!!!!"

I'm so fucking sick of F*rage and R*form being allowed to set the agenda on daily basis.

Got the shitbox™ through another MoT. Awaiting it blowing up on the way home.

Frost. Actually frost.

I have become a person who makes martinis.

Cap in Hand by the Proclaimers is a fucking great song.

Seen my first lamppost poppy of the season, lads.

I can't hear Phil Collins without thinking of the Isle of Wight.

Appeal to reform voters by calling it 'are party'

Humanity consistently allows itself to be governed by complete fucking idiots.

Sartre update: Hell is, in fact, having that Andrea Jenkyns song stuck in your head.

One of the questions I get asked the most as a middle aged man with a guitar is " Why don't you fuck off?".

The day / week / month Trump snuffs it is going to be fucking hilarious on the social medias.

If two bodies exert forces on each other, they become hopelessly devoted. - Newton-John's Third Law Of Motion

Tonight's gig includes a railway platform

The Meta AI stuff really isn't very intelligent, is it? I've just seen it asking if want to know more about the food available on the flagshagging march.

Try boiling your head in a bucket of piss.

@sentimentbot.bsky.social nob cheese.

How about we make everything so woke that the gammonati all physically explode in a cloud of apoplectic mush? Drag Artists read the news. Weather forecasts all in Hindi. Replace the stripes on mint humbugs with rainbows. All pubs serve lager in sherry glasses.

It's impossible to tell real news from Viz.

They could arrest them for pretty much anything in full knowledge that it would never stick, but the court appearance would be weeks / months away.

I must have watched a million videos about guitar electronics and I still don't understand why Americans pronounce the L in soldering as an extra D.

Why does nobody in the government understand the bleeding obvious fact that they can't out-Farage Farage? No matter how hard they try, those voters will never vote labour.

I've decided to WFH today. Which, for a gardener, means going back to bed.

María Caulfield to be recognised in public 50 - 1.

Quote with the energy you bring to bluesky