If ye Jimmy be K, laugh all day. If ye Jimmy be Fallon, expect shit by the gallon.

Anybody in the Stevenage area have available an accessible room or studio flat to rent? My daughter is starting a PhD next week and the flat that we hoped she be in by now looks like it is going to fall through. Thanks

Completely forgot how gorgeously this was:

Holy fuck it's real ?!?!?

Betteridge's Law of Headlines strikes again.

@asylumwelcome.bsky.social Hi folks, could you, or any of your clients use an ageing, but functional*, laptop? I'd rather it went to do some good if possible. * Fine for basic web browsing and video calls, etc. The battery's suspect, but plugged into the mains, it's fine.

“And now the male shifts slightly and says ‘right. Bed.’ And yet, despite the clear intent in his voice, he will now do something very strange, continuing to sit on the sofa, scrolling on his phone, for another hour or more. It is one of the great unsolved mysteries of the natural world.”

Couldn’t understand why our local undertaker have an eel-shaped coffin in their window, but now I realise it acts as a memento moray.

I just saw another where this woman in a Charlie Kirk shirt had spent hours preparing laminated cards to leave around her house explaining the door code and where the pet food and ammo was and how the water filter works - presumably for the sinners left behind who will take over her house.

Drool Britannia

Semicolons, Waitrose, toast racks, Elizabeth David, The Wind In The Willows, and two spaces after a full stop.

We're here. Any social housing recommendations?

So, an app was created with the express purpose of anonymously doxxing critics of Charlie Kirk, including their names, locations, and employers. Guess what? Yup! The app leaked the personal details of its *own* users. #irony san.com/cc/app-for-o...

I think for people like this, they absolutely cannot wrap their mind around the fact that different doesn’t mean bad. Different ways of thinking is how we move forwards. We don’t want cures, we want acceptance and equity.

Pause your doomscrolling and listen to this story.

Burglary has fallen by 90% since the 1990s. But in the 90s you probably didn't know if a house at the other end of your road was burgled. Today, thanks to Facebook and Ring doorbells, we find out within minutes if someone who looked a bit funny approached a front door two miles away.

Mum and I were having a chat about the sayings her own (Irish) mum used to pronounce and she came up with: “Life’s wonderful as long as you don’t take any enjoyment out of it” and I’ll be pondering this till my last breath.

Just caught myself saying "You'll understand once you're older" to the cat, and I'm not completely confident I can justify my statement.

Are you free next Sunday? Do you live in Oxford? I'm running a noticing workshop at Caper Books for children ages 5 to 9. We'll be finding joyous, tiny stories in ordinary things to help with overwhelm and discover magic in the everyday! And tickets are only £3! To book: tinyurl.com/4tutvvfm #oxford

#Autism mummy here. In case anyone needs to hear this today following Trump’s deranged (even for him) announcement… You are loved. You are so special. I am in awe of the way your brain works, your creativity, your ability to see the world differently. It’s magic. And these mum arms are wide.

Maybe the Rapture is real, and it happened, and nobody made the grade?

My low-key conspiracy theory is that Starmer is a robot whose switch got flicked to evil. It’s all I’ve got.

No, *you* forgot to renew your resident parking permit, so you're using up all your visitor permits on you own car until the new one arrives.

I wish Bluesky critics would acknowledge this simple, somewhat horrifying fact

It still counts as listening if you read the book version of the audiobook.

Imagine all cars were electric, and then one Volkswagen engineer comes up with another idea … #EMobility

3D depiction of rainfall distribution across Great Britain. England is a very dry place: London gets as much rain as Jerusalem. With climate change, the south will need to prepare for even more acute water shortages.

Green councillors are supporting the introduction of direct trains to Oxford, with an open letter to GWR. “These services will offer improved connectivity to and from our city, enabling and incentivising more of our residents to make sustainable long-distance journeys,” says @tobywells.bsky.social

Fancy-arse Rice and Chicken Whatever.

That thing where you see a post with a lovely inspirational quote which is completely made up, but you can't bring yourself to be That Person, so you leave it and perpetuate the lie.

I've said for a long time: using a VPN because you don't trust your ISP merely shifts the position of trust to a VPN provider. Do you trust them? www.dw.com/en/anything-...

Someone was trying to take a portrait of their two fave Chickens, and this happened.

Our eldest has made it clear that they would prefer to identify as male. We support them & want to help, but also realise that the UK isn't a trans friendly place these days. I don't suppose anyone could recommend any support groups or organisations that help teenagers with this sort of stuff?

Selfy in different states

Today's the day the lads finally get to roam free outdoors. Genuinely more nervous than when the kids first went to school unaccompanied.

This is the biggest criticism of your average booker longlist that I can agree with

It’s really funny that they think their researchers’ work won’t be appropriated. We researchers that have had our work unduly appropriated to train the algorithm know how unethical these people are. Oxford is turning into a joke with this decision

[Withnail, close to tears] “I have become vulnerable in the night-time economy”.

@alisonbianchi.bsky.social Happy birthday, hope you're having an excellent one.

There is no service on earth that AI has not actively made worse and you will not dissuade me from this.

There we are… the River Trent.

was just thinking about Your Party, and how it's a shame that there isn't someone who can just come in, tell the left what the plan is and make them all pull together, and then realised it's the XKCD "standards" joke

Heads up for lovers of daft Polish period comedy. There's a new season of 1670 on Netflix.

Once upon a time at the Hawk Conservancy in Andover they had a sea eagle called Daneby. Daneby also like koi, which he sourced from a local garden. The lady called Conservancy and asked for advice and eventually netted the pond. Which is when Daneby was involuntarily trampolined into near orbit.

Possibly my greatest Wordle achievement.

In the event of my death as a result of some driver, please DO politicise the hell out of it.