Police say they've given the owner a tug.

I love this country and its traditions, perhaps none more so than how Smithfield butchers are treated like rock stars on Xmas Eve

Even though this isn't #DuvetKnowItsChristmas it feels very much in the same spirit

Modern Toss, again.

This year we’ve been upgraded to “The Annexe of Estrangement”. Apart from a model shark on the bed and an excess of gym equipment, all is looking good. But what the hell is going on with the pumpkin summoning charm on the other side of the room? And who needs 5 freezers? #duvetknowitschristmas

I've got to be honest, we may as well call it a night #DuvetKnowItsChristmas

I’m entering The Teenager as potential winner of #Duvetknowitschristmas He’s had to move from his bedroom to the unconverted attic Cardboard floor & headboard is a nice touch which I’m sure he appreciates He think it looks like he’s living in a meth den #DuvetKnowItsChristmas

Unbelievably, #DuvetKnowItsChristmas generates such good will on social media that over the years we've raised somewhere approaching a quarter of a million quid for homeless charities. If you can spare a bob or two, sling some to Centrepoint, and here's the link: www.gofundme.com/f/duvet-know...

The last segment of Home Alone is top quality slapstick, matches anything from the golden age of black and white (can something monochrome have a golden age? Anyway.). On now C4.

The message that someone takes away from sci-fi tells you who they are. It's a Rorschach test.

My wife ordered a piniata for our grandson's birthday next week. Apparently it looked bigger in the advert.

People who don't put a mist coat of paint on new plaster: They're on the list. Spending the afternoon scraping flakey paint off the bathroom wall and then filling the bits where the tool also took a bit of plaster off was not in my plan.

6H G66D. 5 A0 G3AD 0Y 2EYB6ARD HAS F64ND A NEW SETT5NG. GREAT. TH5S 5S W6NDERF43 NEWS.

Reminds me of Van Gogh's iconic shoes as in this painting, which could very well date to same time as those that recently washed ashore harvardartmuseums.org/collections/...

size of this turtle

And he's not even due to be born for another 48 hours. Top lad.

Tomorrow evening it’ll be my annual duty to vaguely shepherd the activity on the #duvetknowitschristmas hashtag and urge people to give small sums to charity. 7.30pm? Something like that?

Will the influx of cash that gyms usually see in January now be going to co's selling weight loss drugs?

an emoji for the little scribble that means the pen has ink

I love that cafe. Been part of my family life as long as I can remember. My kids opened their exam results there. It's where my dad sat me down and told me his cancer was terminal. It's where we go, at those times. Always. Daisy Green? Get to fuck. That cafe is OURS.

Tree full of gold finches. #birds #photography

Not a great pic but good to see what I think is a corn bunting, a bird on the red endangered list. #birds #photography

My grandson is three at the end of this month, he watched The Snowman for the first time recently. Me:"What happens to him at the end?" Him:"He's squashed." Mysteriously Squashed Overnight is such a sinister ending but fits all the facts available to someone who doesn't really know how snow works.

ESPC carpets of the day

Just including the word Trump in a post about the bloke should be the rule. It means posts that are about him don't slip through muted word lists.

Robin with a halo as the sun hits it from behind. #birds #photography

I always think cormorants drying in winter trees look like they should be stood over a gothic structure of some type. #birds #photography

From lunchtime. Blue tit taking off. #birds #photography

A massive sinkhole has developed in a canal in the English county of Shropshire, trapping two boats in deep mud and prompting emergency services to declare a “major incident.” https://cnn.it/48QqZaZ

People with ADHD have been asking many questions. Questions such as, “where the fuck is the thing that was in my hand five seconds ago?” And “why am I sitting on the loo reading Wikipedia about castle drawbridge design when I finished pissing half an hour ago?”

One of my favourite Xmas cards ever. @screwfix.bsky.social

I can still get books delivered to you before Christmas. Even though it's mad busy and my suppliers are working their socks off to get books to you, I can still offer a 24 hour tracked service for deliveries. How dreamy is that?

Of course you want to see the Big Pipe. What beauty.

Winter solstice sunset duly celebrated at 3.53pm at the Big (Sewage) Pipe, Skelmersdale's top visitor attraction on Tripadvisor. The Big Pipe aligns precisely with solstice sunset at 229 degrees, as its ancient builders intended & we always offer our thanks before going to the Miner's Peg for one

Stockholm winter solstice Today’s Sunrise 8.44 Sunset 14.29 59.3 N

Our friends in Anchorage do not see the sun for the three weeks before and the three weeks after the winter solstice, because the sun is hiding behind surrounding hills, but on the day of the solstice, it peeks out in the saddle between peaks for about 60 golden seconds. Happy #WinterSolstice

This tweet is a masterclass in how to lie, not with statistics, but with language.

With a soft hush the day begins 📷🕊️ …

I don’t know how anyone can still talk about “the AI revolution” with a straight face. Reuters story about a railroad company that has sunk $300,000 into “developing AI products” and appears to have made…a chatbot that doesn’t work? archive.is/2025.12.17-0...

Audio diaries on Radio 4 currently are very good.

George is chirpy. #TheArchers

We banned them from our farm but still used to get packs of dogs running across scaring our dogs, deer and all the other birds & creatures. So every time we saw them on our land we set off the alarm (which sounds like a very loud WW2 air raid siren). Now we never see them. 😀

The good news : The days are getting longer again from now. #wintersolstice

“Traffic lights across the city were down, seemingly confusing the driverless cars — and halting them in their tracks. Riders and pedestrians posted videos of Waymos stuck at intersections, long lines of drivers behind them.” missionlocal.org/2025/12/sf-w...

Your annual reminder that if you get this cracker joke and are confused by it, it's apparently because "ffi" is a special character in some fonts and when the typeface is changed to one that doesn't have it, those letters disappear. It's supposed to be "coffin medicine".

One day something will happen — a wedding, a graduation, a job promotion, Jake Paul getting knocked out, Andrew Tate getting knocked out the next day — and you’ll want the right outfit to celebrate. Buy that special outfit now, so you’re ready when that next unexpected moment arrives.

All of these skills built up on the project will be scattered to the winds because we have cancelled a chunk of the project and we're not building any more high speed rail.

Normal for Brighton.