Just been passed by the Google maps van. Wish I’d been quick witted enough to pull a mooney or pretend I was being murdered or something but I didn’t, I just stared gormlessly at the camera

Three offers of ‘opportunities’ this week. Two art. One lit. No money in any of them. Can’t afford to do it when I could be getting paid for piling junk mail through people’s doors. These are the priorities of our culture. Might delete later lol

Good job there’s nowt on

March 4th, 2021 Me: Good morning, nothing for you today. Man carrying armfuls of baby equipment to a car: Good, it’s normally just shite I’ve ordered when I’m drunk anyway.

2006 - 2026 Bluemoose Books will be celebrating 20 years as an Independent publisher this year. We're at The London Book fair - 10/11/12th March On Stand 6G28. Do pop along and say hello. We have some cracking stories for you. @thebookseller.com

Noticed there was a digitally ‘enhanced’ version of this so I had to watch it. Such a great song and this is the definitive version. Do you think Peggy’s hair is real? I know it’s digitally enhanced but it looks pretty out there nevertheless youtu.be/DLeSyb_ZEa8

This Thursday.

Pleased with my video of a noisy crow in the yard at work : )

Starmer's ability to find the exact sweetspot which pisses off everyone is extraordinary. He's a savant.

09.50 “I thought I heard the bell but the cuckoo was going so I wasn’t sure. We’ve got a cuckoo clock and the cuckoo was going”.

Wherein, at the invitation of @jonathangibbs.bsky.social, I write about twelve brilliant stories by twelve brilliant writers, some of whom are alive @egangoonsquad.bsky.social @theactualemma.bsky.social @cdrose.bsky.social.

For the 50th anniversary of John Smith's THE GIRL CHEWING GUM, The Family Purge have installed the film in a continuous loop at the location of its shooting: 505a Kingsland Road, London E8 4AU.

It’s eight years to the day since the time I was on a bus and an elderly man grabbed me by the arm. “A friend of mine has just told me what snow is” he said. “What is it?” I asked. “Frozen rain” he explained.

Woman in winter coat walking Jack Russell terrier in winter coat: You’re a bugger, you are You’re a bugger, you are Takes big puff on her vape Good boy Good boy Do you want some din-dins?

I’ve just used the word ‘bobby-dazzler’. Not something I do lightly. Under the circumstances though, I don’t think I had any choice.

Hope Street Lowergate To read pile

From his book, Bullshit Jobs: A Theory (2018)

I was Wilf's postman. Once delivered him a cannonball. I suppose I may have delivered him the grenade too without realising

Here's a picture from the 1990s of Georgia Boniface with a t-shirt she made for Simon Le Bon. She's still making clothes. Brilliant ones. She's VERY good at it. Here's her website: shop.georgiaboniface.co.uk/about

On this day: Feb 23, 2011 An old man shouts me from the first floor of the flats. "How long before I get my post?" "About half an hour" I say. "Hurry up, lad! I need to go out, I'm already late! I've been waiting for you!" He is dressed in pyjamas. Feb 23, 2019 Photo 1 Feb 23, 2023 Photo 2

New substack is up. Featuring a Maximo Park concert, a book launch @kevinboniface.bsky.social @davidcollard.bsky.social and some thoughts on short stories, Elvis and bananas. substack.com/@drewgummers...

Hey @davidcollard.bsky.social the excerpt from 10m15s is a good example of what Oscar Mardell was talking about the other day - the mass observation bombs and cabbages thing

Diary extracts read by Ian Breakwell and recorded during the Audio Arts Exhibition / Presentation at the Whitechapel Art Gallery, 1977. 10m15s: excerpt of the recording Breakwell made in March 1973 when the IRA Old Bailey car bomb exploded in the background www.youtube.com/watch?v=_wbW...

Thanks to all who came to this evening's online gathering to mark the publication of Oscar Mardell's brilliant and unclassifiable 'Delirious New Lynn; or, Portage and Euphoria; or, The Carryover.' All twelve copies available in the UK were snapped up by good people I now regard as allies.

(Removes lorgnette and speaks with a distinct chill) "Why did I not know about this?" The only thing better than this book is the author himself reading it.

One of Huddersfield's more unusual street names. According to local historian George Redmonds, Solid derives from 'soliht' meaning a place "growing with willows" in Old English

A man passes me. He’s listening to the Australian rock band Men at Work on his phone. I wonder whether he regrets his choice of long 90s-style bootcut jeans given the wet weather and the effect capillary action has had on them.

I’ll be chatting with the brilliant Oscar Mardell this evening. See @davidcollard.bsky.social‘s post for details. If you’re on Instagram you can see Oscar reading from Delirious New Lynn here: www.instagram.com/reel/DCumYLS...

Online tonight at 7pm GMT! Authors Oscar Mardell @kevinboniface.bsky.social and @cdrose.bsky.social discuss Oscar's extraordinary book 'Delirious New Lynn; or Portage and Euphoria; or, The Carryover' which does for an Auckland suburb what James Joyce did for Dublin.

If you haven't already received an invitation email me via my website: davidjcollard.wixsite.com/my-site Details of how to buy a copy will be shared with the audience. Join Oscar, @kevinboniface.bsky.social, @cdrose.bsky.social and myself to celebrate this unique and unclassifiable publication.

Just found this screen grab of the results of a poll I conducted about Brexit in 2019

Watching Detectorists again and wondering how Lance is going to take Mags AND her mum to bingo in his 2-seater TR7. He’s going to have to make two trips. She really is taking advantage of him!

This is going to be fun. Oscar Mardell's home town of New Lynn might be "awe-inducingly disorienting" but in his new book he makes a deeply engaging and sometimes hilarious attempt to find his way around.

Unusual formation of ice in a bowl of water in our garden this morning. Probs just aliens or something

In the pub

Thrilled with my picture of some geese

Here I am back in the day when being a postman was a respectable career choice: 42 hour contract as standard, good rates of pay - basic, holiday, sick, overtime etc, great pension. And yet I still couldn’t afford a good haircut

Ah these are so great

Ah these are so great

I’ve noticed that younger members of staff tend to form an orderly queue outside the toilets rather than forcing their way into the crowded interior and exclaiming “So this is where all the big nobs hang out!” as has long been the tradition. Feeling a bit down about it tbh 😔

Reminder that I'll be at @yorklitfest.bsky.social on 14th March at 6.30pm. I'll be interviewed by the hugely talented writer @colettesnowden.bsky.social (who also has an event at 2pm the same day – go to that too.) Do come!

Feb 8, 2019 The troubleshooting jogger runs past. He's on his phone all out of breath. "...Yeah, that's it, now click on it...No, not that one, the one in the dropdown menu...Yes, they're on the kitchen table...next to the vase thing...the blue one...Well, whatever it is..."

Well this is fantastic www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ssi...

Simulacrum of peeling plaster from the back yard of the house where I lived in the early 90s. Made from toasted bread soaked in PVA and painted with Sandtex and spray paint (what else?) It’s started to fall apart itself recently which feels weird. Thinking of making a simulacrum of this simulacrum

Friends: The Finchale Award For Short Fiction 2026 is open for entries. This year's judges are the equally fantastic Maxine Peake & Jake Arnott. Open to writers from (or living) in the North of England, of all abilities and backgrounds. 1500 words. £1000 prize. newwritingnorth.com/northern-wri...

Happy Publication Day to @stuhennigan.bsky.social This extraordinary work of brutal beauty is blazing into the world today & I wholeheartedly recommend that everyone #GetKeshed

Gone for a walk on the moors to get away from it all