This is Dave, my cousin’s cat. Dave is 7,400g of murderous feline rage. Dave is not feeling well. My cousin is in hospital. So I am taking Dave to the vet. I am horribly allergic to cats. Dave knows this.

Mayor Zohran Mandami’s crime reduction strategy notches early win.

The WSJ is reporting that this 79-year-old fascist is mainlining McDonalds and doing little or nothing to look after his own health like it’s a bad thing.

DO NOT EAT THE AMBER SNOW.

Outlook for the new year ...

All except for the bits currently clutching desperately to the 1950s and 1860s.

“Same as our New Year resolution every year, Pinky… TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD”

As I write, socialism is already spreading its way out through the city in the subways and utilities pipes, just like the goo in Ghostbusters 2, and rising up into the golden toilet bowls of New York’s billionaires, to bite them on their fleshy capitalist derrières…

Spare a thought this morning for The Edge, who’s already had twelve missed calls from Bono wanting to tell him exactly how quiet it is.

We are far too old and boring to go out; and like many of you, just not into New Year’s Eve. So it’s a Chinese takeaway, a mountain of profiteroles, and Netflix to see us through to a reasonable bedtime. I hope your 2025 was not too awful, and your 2026 markedly superior in all respects. Namaste.

unvarnished gutter racism and Nazism from the president. a disgrace to our country.

You know what we ought to bring back in 2026? Surprise attacks by Fireships.

Post a man a pun and he'll groan for a day. Teach a man to post puns and he'll make people groan for a lifetime.

Croutons are the best thing since diced bread

Those with long memories may remember Paul Kaye’s Dennis Pennis doing a skit about the Hugh Grant action figure (it was a block of wood). Turns out, there really IS a Hugh Grant action figure, so I guess the joke is now very, very belatedly on him…

Lunch, or obscure Game of Thrones character?

Britain: proudly stepping into the bright future of the late 18th century.

This is true and I was the only one on set excited about it (and playing the song on my phone to blank stares)

The Jo Swinson effect.

Just heard a very loud ping, so I reckon that’s Ruby Turner fully defrosted in time for the Boogie-Woogie Gnome’s Hootenanny.

when your mom gets out of prison for gross child neglect & you’ve finally learnt to forgive her

Casemiro does this every week and no one makes a big deal about it

We’re nearly done with 2025, friends. Sing it with me! youtu.be/ydpmzU_i2hg?...

“A six hour delay in Calais” in my family means that we’ve just stopped to pick up some essentials at the hypermarché. 🧀 🍷 🍻 🧀 🥖 🇫🇷

There’s a company in our Deliveroo radius that has invented something truly remarkable. Friends, I give you: FRIES

RIP to the absolute gold standard of line reads youtu.be/ZSRs3g2AnxA?...

Gabriel Jesus making absolutely sure no-one else in the dressing room steals his favourite vest

And so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly to the cheeseboard

Barrrrrrrrrrryyyy!!! #NFOEVE

The Forest v Everton game has gone all Rockford Files.

This from @vizcomic.bsky.social will never get old.

Who’s more the fool? The fool, or the fool who follows him?

Dune Hard with a Vengeance.

Why do people keep depicting cyclops with a nose under the eye? the olfactory nerves would have to go all the way down and round and up behind the eyeball and get all caught up with the optic nerves. If they had evolved the nostrils would surely be more on the cheeks. Welcome to my TED talk.

More on the genius of the Asterix translations by Anthea Bell and Derek Hockridge (the “rather, old fruit” exchange is one of my favourite gags) auntymuriel.com/2012/12/23/a...

There are more gags in this than all the adverts made in the past thirty years put together

Right, it’s that time of year to make sausage rolls. So far I’ve got Stilton & black pudding, and bacon & chorizo. Who wants one?

Sherlock Holmes and dinosaurs: what’s not to like?

With Bardot's passing, the only named individuals in Billy Joel's We Didn't Start The Fire that are still alive are Bob Dylan, Chubby Checker, and Bernie Goetz. The last one standing will claim The Prize.

Is it a combination of bribery, arrest, and state-sanctioned murder, by any chance?

“You know who else loved animals, but expressed quite controversial ideas?”

I dunno, guys, this kinda feels like a bad idea, and a terrible use of Gundam…

Better not be bloody midichlorians.

And a good morning to everyone reading the “later life” section of Brigitte Bardot’s wikipedia page for the first time

Keep going, it won’t all eat itself you know.

Spike from Hi-de-Hi!?!