They did the fucking meme

Don't talk about trans rights. We need to get in office. Don't talk about trans rights. We have to stay in office.

If you’re concerned about trans people because of their roll in mass shootings, wait until you hear about cisgender straight men

The “antifa cell” judge declares mistrial over a tshirt (not even one of mine!)

😤 🐍🐦‍⬛ One left in 2xl

AI is about to get way worse. Marketers are flooding Quora, LinkedIn, etc. with promotional content for the machines to “learn,” so the machines will recommend the marketers’ products to chat users. A new wave of human-administered slop to fuel AI slop, compounding online enshittification.

Uh … holy shit?

158 minutes. I'm slippin' 😜

Best I can do is "Hey Dummy." Only 1 left in this run (Size Small) www.thecolacorporation.com/products/hey...

Mama Bear is back 10pm Chicago standard time Email subscribers only 👇 bit.ly/cola-email

I started voting in 2016. In the last decade I have listened to Dems come up with endless arguments why their leaders can’t do anything when out of power *or* when in power, and yet anyone who doesn’t vote blue is selfish. I’m done with it.

Transphobia: It’s Pragmatic! ™️

Everything about “Melania” is gross except the box office

The Creation of Cheating (2026)

Golly another MAGA member who hangs with white spremacists. Many such cases!

Busch is either really upset or really happy to be associated with that ball cap.

Cola fam I love you

Bubba got this shit banned from tracks 6 years ago. I didn’t even notice the side sticker at first, but of course that’s how he votes.

Forgot to share this yesterday. I’ve never done a full run of these. A friend who studied with Ayers is passing along a note asking for the couple’s blessing. We’ll see.

When you need to get the stench of Adin Ross off you

US genocide of Native Americans 👀German fascists 👀 MAGA 👀 German fascists ♻️

If more loudmouthed maga dorks got their shit rocked we’d have fewer loudmouthed maga dorks.

I didn’t realize that the OK Kid is out in the burbs. Fuck yeah. Proud of you homie.

The IOC's censorship of Haiti's Olympic uniforms and a Ukrainian athlete's helmet should be enough to retire two specific takes / attitudes: sPOrTsBalL and "clothes don't matter." Not gonna, but should.

IOC … 😡 Haitian independence 😡 Ukrainian resistance 😍 Nazis

The Intolerant Left is the only way out of this

When ICE sends terrorists, they’re not sending their best. They’re people with a lot of problems and they’re bringing those problems with them. They’re domestic abusers. They’re rapists. They’re pedophiles. And some, I assume, are just sadists getting their rocks off. apnews.com/article/ice-...

You see what I’m saying tho

You snort cocaine off the toilet *tank cover*. Not the seat. Never. Not ever.

🎙️microphone check

What are you wearing to the Bsky debutante ball?

This weekend I'm gonna pull my life together. For real this time.

Fuck Pam Bondi. Also: had that been Brett Kavanaugh yesterday, snarling back against rape allegations and overstating his fondness for beer, today he would be universally lauded by maga. Bondi went to bat for a rapist pig who presides over a movement that despises women. Play stupid games …

Between now and Monday I will donate 100% of profit of the Trans Rights tees to a Chicago org that supports trans youth. Open to suggestions as to which org. The more grassroots the better. All orders will ship with the sticker while they last. www.thecolacorporation.com/collections/...

Pedophilia holds MAGA together, from the highest executive to the lowliest Jan 6 domestic terrorist

There’s a dude w/ my govt name. I get a lot of his emails for some reason. One time I got his receipt for a Walmart raffle, which was CCd to a 2nd email. When I explained the situation, his one question: “Did I win the raffle?” I got his 2025 tax return: address, dob, SSN. Anyway he’s doing well.

Your honor, before you proceed with sentencing, may I remind the court that the Dow is over 50,000?

💯 this but also Can we talk about how having a billion dollars is, in addition to everything else, really tacky?

Tomorrow I’m scheduled to appear on a podcast with a journalist a lot of you seem to intensely dislike for reasons that elude me. Should be fun!

Many of you have said that you don't receive my emails even though you signed up. So, I'm giving you dibs on this tee before email subscribers get access on Saturday. I emailed MN fam about this last week, giving them first dibs. www.thecolacorporation.com/products/ice...?

Email subscribers get first dibs on new releases, which often sell out in a few hours. You can subscribe for drop updates here ⬇️ 🤙 bit.ly/cola-email

The Cola Corp's success largely owes to damn good lawyers and legal experts, including @questauthority.bsky.social and @kathryntewson.bsky.social. Also, as the bomb-throwing* artist in charge, I like to think I did my part. *The bomb-throwing in this context is solely and explicitly figurative.

The lady in her bathrobe and slippers, bailing out of the house to document terrorism on her block. Real shit. 🫡 📸: @leilanavidi.bsky.social

We love the party of fiscal responsibility don't we gang

Cola fam is the best. Love you all.

Me when doorbell cams are heralded as the indispensable tech that brings the Guthrie kidnapper to justice —>🤨

In that case, Pam, the whole system deserves to collapse

RAISE IT AND PRAISE IT