This trilogy is a deeply disturbing masterpiece.

I'm thinking of writing an article about how literary agents are often their own worst enemies and are creating an environment in which it is really difficult for authors to actually find a home for often excellent manuscripts. As opposed to one about all the mistakes authors make when submitting.

Guys, this remarkable music festival is talking place one street from my house. I will be able to hear every word. Right Said Fred, Boyzlife, Chesney Hawkes... plus Dua Lipa, Taylor Swift, Abba and Ed Sheeran tribute acts.

New Gia Margaret song has dropped, fallen, landed, been placed...

I have cancelled my membership to Everand, the ebook and audiobook subscription service. I was an avid user some years ago, when it was still called Scribd, because of its Spotify-style 'eat as much as you like' offer but so much has changed since then, and all of it for the worse.

1/10 If the last few days of Iranian strikes on Dubai have proven anything, it’s that a massive number of people completely despise the city and those living there. And honestly? There are very good reasons to despise them. A thread on the city of hypocrites 🧵👇

Ahh, when your favourite musician is releasing a book of lyrics and photos but they are Swedish so the bookshops offering signed copies for pre-order won't ship to you because a bunch of fuckwits voted for Brexit ten years ago. Always fun.

I think the world of political reporting would be improved greatly if journalists were allowed to end their questions with "...you fucking idiot?" more often. "Why are you doubling down on this immigration policy, you fucking idiot?" "Why chase the Reform vote, you fucking idiot?" etc.

Not overly interested in Elton John and his family, but have greatly enjoyed enlarging the photo on the National Portrait Gallery website to see how many of his books I can identify. Also trying to work out the filing system.

Although it's never been a publication I would read, I do accept that some time in the past the Telegraph was an actual newspaper, albeit a right-leaning biased one. But I genuinely don't think it actually qualifies as a newspaper anymore.

Zoe continues to be a voice of reason and compassion on this subject.

Is it just me, or are there more dogs in pushchairs and prams these days than actual human children?

I was offline earlier in the year to write a book. I didn't do much reading for pleasure during that time, but I did read The Benefactors by Wendy Erskine. It's one of the finest pieces of literary ventriloquism, with the voices of multiple characters brilliantly rendered, that I've come across.

I accepted a decade or so ago that The Brits is really not for me, and I only knew about 10% of the acts nominated this year, but I sought out the Rosalia performance – because Björk – and fuck me, this has made my weekend. youtu.be/7fyufPkXLbs?...

Took my time with Small Prophets, so have only just finished it this evening, but found it charming and wonky and funny, with a genuine warmth that you don't get to see much in comedy these days.

Guys, guys, he won the FIFA Peace Prize, so this will all be OK, I am sure of it.

Just played this, and it was fun.

If Scientology isn't a weird and abusive cult, then why do people involved get so weird and abusive about it?

The 'working hard used to get you a nice life' angle is very smart because none of the other parties are really in a position to go there. But it does alarm me how much a charismatic leader, rather than policies, changes media coverage and, it seems, voters.

So tomorrow, my co-author Judith Robinson and I will have completed the manuscript for Literary Dogs, our latest book for Bodleian Library Publishing. To be honest, all that's left is sticking the separate chapters together and making sure the endnotes don't completely fuck up when we do that.

I am two episodes into I Love LA, and I just want everyone to die horribly. Does everyone die horribly? Because if they do, I might carry on watching.

Emerging from months of research reading for our book and starting to read for pleasure again. Bear by Marian Engel was short, only took me a couple of sittings and was just the ticket. Far and away the best bear-wanking book I've read.

A fascinating evening at the BFI IMAX for Maggie Gyllenhaal in conversation. She was funny, insightful, indiscreet in a good way, very happy to discuss disagreements and conflicts with co-stars and directors, and always positive. But BFI IMAX is a sack of shit venue for this sort of event.

For some reason, I feel like it's a good time to share this wonderful clip again.

You'd imagine that Mandelson had made sure that his 'affairs were in order' over the past few days.

I've got an event coming up next month and it will help raise money for a great cause.

My friend Abigail has recently started working as a therapist. Having got to know her during her studies, it is great to see her offering her expertise to those who need it. She has particular experience working with the LGBTQIA+ community, alternative relationship structures and queer families.

Help me out here. Am I going mad? Who is the person in the top right hand corner? I'm pretty sure it's not Renate Reinsve, who is a brunette, has a different face, and was wearing a different outfit to this one tonight.

What if AI designed my entire house inside and outside?

You're gonna love this. I received an editing request from someone who wanted me to do a developmental edit on their book. The subject of the book: How to write a bestseller using AI. Fuck the fuck off, you fucking fucker.

A great thread about an important writer who is finally getting a bit of recognition more than a century after her birth. I have said it before, meant it, and I will say it again – if Gertrude Trevelyan had been a man, I am convinced her books would never have gone out of print.

I bought tickets for Deus at Shepherds' Bush Empire next month. I had an email to inform me that I need to download the O2 Academy app in order to access these tickets. Of course, the app is an absolute steaming pile of shite that doesn't work, won't let me log in, and I cannot access my tickets.

One of these celebrities does not require a bathroom because he shits in the woods.

My your line always be good, my friends. And may your curl, also, always be good.

The Queen used to call him this too, apparently.

'A young, dynamic population with a median age of 19...' Why would the median age be so young, Tony? Any ideas, mate? He's an absolute fucking ghoul, this guy. Still, he knows a fair bit about war crimes, so I can see why they asked him to join.

I blame the parents.

Georgia Maq has new music out. Always a treat.

The wonderful Madi Diaz, who I saw play in London the other night, has released her take on the entire Blink 182 Enema of the State album. It started as a warm-up exercise when she was recording her last album but she's released it to raise money for the Defending Our Neighbors Fund.

Sentimental Value is now available to watch on MUBI. You are very welcome to use my referral code to get a free month's membership, especially as I get a free month too. mubi.com/t/web/global...

Just nabbed tickets for Maggie Gyllenhaal in Conversation at the BFI IMAX later this month.

It seems to me that any reasonable person with a modicum of common sense has always considered the Palestine Action ban to be ridiculous and something that would not stand up to proper legal scrutiny. Similarly, anyone with half a brain knows that Peter Mandelson is a dodgy fucker.

Emerging from writing deadline all-nighters to enjoy some music this week. First up, Madi Diaz tomorrow night at Oslo in Hackney.

My your line always be good, my friends. And may your curl, also, always be good.

Ideally, he should form a mixed doubles tennis partnership with Katie Volynets.

For me, a good 25% of watching the Winter Olympics is waiting for someone to fall over.

The Chronology of Water is a tough watch. It's not told in linear fashion. The editing and sound are designed to disturb and disorientate. Many are not going to like it, but it's an important film, an impressive directorial debut, and at its centre is a monumental performance from Imogen Poots.

Two of my favourite musicians have released new songs in the past hour. Lucky me. First up, Charlotte Cornfield, with a little help from Feist.

While walking through Windsor this morning I found a driving licence on the pavement. It was a Montenegrin one and there was no one around and no house nearby where it might have come from. Fortunately, I was a brief stroll from Windsor police station so thought I'd pop it in there. A short 🧵...

Well, that was quite something. Jessie Buckley in conversation at the BFI this evening. I don't think I've ever heard an actor speak so eloquently and revealingly about acting without sounding pretentious or precious. She's a remarkable orator.