this dog is so cute it's rude somehow

"Never did I imagine that my [HOLIDAY / EXOTIC FOOD CRAWL / COMPED STAY IN THIS SIX-STAR HOTEL & SPA] would be interrupted by a war whose geopolitical consequences would be so unfathomable, and whose timing would be so inconvenient to me personally."

A Marx-quoting capitalist is found poisoned with toxins in the moisturiser absorbed though the skin. Suspicion falls on Wetwang’s satanists, frightened that a village fête to raise money for the new church roof might threaten nuclear annihilation.

But without doubt, the single greatest moment is Morgan Freeman dramatically intoning that the spiked tail of the Stegosaurus is called “the Thagomizer.” It is! And here’s why:

"Wayne can never be replaced, but we need someone just like him, or preferably better, by next week’s shareholder meeting." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/our...

Hardle 🟦🟪 #1491 4/8 ⬜🟩⬜🟩🟨 🟨🟨⬜🟨🟨 ⬜🟩🟩🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 hardle.herokuapp.com

Wordle 1,724 2/6* ⬛🟩⬛🟨⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 OK @esp1371.bsky.social you’re up.

Like this Congress passes laws anyway

the whole purpose of the post-menopausal woman is to prevent the rise of generative AI

Celebrating International Women’s Day on the day that the US sets its clocks forward is just a little too on the nose. Women can’t even get a full 24 hours of recognition?

that’s my secret, Daylight Savings, i’m always tired

@ravenmae.bsky.social I recently told a friend how much I love Sisyphus humor and now she sends me it plus similar material. Here is today’s.

I think I just found my kid’s next elective

"I’ve finally arrived at a place of radical acceptance. I accept that I will be passed over, that I will sit untouched for hours, that someone will choose a lemon-lime option over me without a second thought."

the reverse version of those “evolution of man” drawings

Hardle 🟦🟪 #1490 5/8 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 🟨⬜⬜⬜🟨 ⬜🟨🟩🟨⬜ 🟩🟨⬜🟩🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 hardle.herokuapp.com

Wordle 1,723 3/6* ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛🟨🟨⬛⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Hardle 🟦🟪 #1489 5/8 ⬜⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩⬜⬜🟨⬜ 🟩🟨⬜🟩⬜ 🟩⬜🟩🟩⬜ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 hardle.herokuapp.com

Hardle 🟦🟪 #1488 4/8 🟨🟨⬜⬜⬜ ⬜⬜🟨🟨⬜ ⬜⬜🟩🟨🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 hardle.herokuapp.com

We're gonna need a bigger Hague

This slide was a little too on the nose. In 2010 my then employer laid off 3,000 people because the company’s $8BN (yes you read that right) profit for 2009 was the same as 2008… Even though the global economy had shit the bed in 2009.

Shakespeare: Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more / Or close the wall up with our English dead Churchill: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of human crime. Trump: But yeah, you know, we expect some things

Part of me says that’s a record that’s gonna stand a long time. The other part of me knows there are a lot of idiots out there.

First of all, how dare you call me out like this.

By morons for morons

The economy lost so many jobs last month Trump is gonna have to find another country to go to war with.

They’re stealing our jobs!

"When I first planned this trip, I had no idea that war was even on the horizon. I guess that’s what happens when you get your news from [MEMES / GROK / COTTAGECORE TOK / THE CBS SUBSTACK]." www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/soc...

Where’s Hugh Grant when you need him?

This lady had more jobs in 13 months than Barbie has and Barbie’s been doing this for 50+ years!

Next up, Bibi demands that the US pardon Trump for everything he’s done so Trump can focus on the war

Hands so strong this went for a grand slam lol

I bet you didn't know you needed to see a Pomsky puppy today, did you?

I think they might have better luck spending two thousand dollars holding a press conference where they detail who made the key decisions to collaborate with the Trump administration, how and when they were fired, and explaining what would stop that from happening again.

She’s so adorable. #UglyDogs

I’m front page McSweeny’s what the FUUUUUUUCK?!?!?!?! millenial teenage me would not believe it. I would not. I was just really, really angry last night and wrote it—is there a muse for unbridled rage? My fiancées dad at BYU mocked his son for loving a pacifist. Well WHO’S LAUGHING NOW Kevin Monson

So Philip Glass just joined TikTok. He only has like 4 posts and they’re simply him in what I assume is his living room playing the piano. First comment on one I saw was “your piano is too close to the fireplace, you’ll dry it out” and if that’s not the internet in a nutshell I don’t know what is.

Interrupting your doomscrolling for this 3-part Fuzzy Jaws attack. Part 1: “He’s behind me isn’t he?!?” #FelineFriday #FosterKittens #KittensOfBluesky #CatsOfBluesky #SkyCats

@alepresser.com @kbspangler.com I'M A DEMIGOD! (oh, the ruckus I would raise)

Who has the cards now?

The perfect headline doesn’t exi…

Wordle 1,721 X/6* ⬛⬛⬛⬛⬛ ⬛⬛⬛🟨⬛ ⬛🟩🟩⬛🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 ⬛🟩🟩🟩🟩 That’s not a freaking word.

Discworld QOTD, from The Fifth Elephant "‘Can you think of any reason why someone would kill him?’ The troll scratched his head. ‘Well, ‘cos dey wanted him dead, I reckon. Dat’s a good reason.’"

Discworld QOTD, from Thief of Time

Discworld QOTD, from Making Money

We turned away from the light when we invented a way to go online without the computer screaming in warning.

This really feels like something @tkingfisher.com could have written

Take a minute and read it, then cry with me.