TW; grief & pet loss Our precious girl, Dixie has gone. We gave her a perfect last day; she was our little queen. The last thing I said was, "I love you." The last thing she saw was my face. The last thing she heard was my heart beating for her. Hug your pets today & give them extra treats.

Today is really difficult.

As has been already been announced, I’ll be striking out in my own after this collection! It feels exciting and scary but great. The new brand is in process as we get things tidied up with Peculiarity Shop but follow me here for more updates! I can’t wait to share all my ideas with you!

I had leftover sausage gravy and I made coconut flour quick bread. It's even faster than it sounds. 6 minutes from mix to eat. It has an egg in it, and that eggybread texture is heavenly with peppery sausage gravy. 10/10, would eat again.

Crushed to learn that @piperjdrake.bsky.social has passed. It was a privilege to know her.

Went on a rampage and threatened to cancel most of my subscriptions. Some I did cancel. Others offered me a ridiculous discount to stay. Probably saved 300 bucks.

Welp, I am stuck with Xfinity. The Saga of Internet Monopoly goes like this. The CenturyLink tech did not show up due <comedy of errors>. I called. They first rescheduled me & then they called to say, "Actually our system is wrong, that area is served by Quantum." You can't make this stuff up.

Now is the time when I shitpost about Xfinity. Last week, service was down for days. I canceled. What you see in the QT post ensued. This week, service was out yesterday & today (last day of service). They sent a text asking if it's back on. This is JOKES at this point. 😂 DRAG Xfinity, ok?

Amber Alert out of Shelton from Washington State Patrol

So KING OF ASHES won the Netherlands Booksellers Award for Thriller of the Year! I won the same award for Razorblade Tears . Apparently im the first writer in the 47 year history of the award to win it twice! Thank you to all the readers and booksellers from The Netherlands!!!

Here's my favorite bit of writing advice. Make a list of all the things you are a weird little freak about. Pick three of them that are unrelated. Make a story where those three things intersect in some way. You are going to have fun

🧵 Housekeeping hacks. You will need: Two spray bottles (you can reuse old ones that had other products in them) water a few drops of dishwashing soap white vinegar In bottle 1, mix water & dishwashing soap. In bottle 2, mix 1/8 c white vinegar & fill up with water. Tips for use follow!

I bought pasta salad today. It was...not good. Me: "I can save this!" Rinsed off the bad dressing, added some pasta I cooked at home, diced sweet pepper, broccoli & cucumbers, many spices, a skosh of quality dressing, balsamic vinegar, lemon, fancy cheese + my secret ingredient. Now? DELISH.

Me, writes a discussion post for grad school. Using my brain. 1st AI detector: This is 92% AI written. (FUCK YOU) 2nd AI detector: This is 100% human generated. OK, why are AIs "writing" and humans are generating?! WTF is up with this nonsense?

My vet is wonderful. "Letting go is not unkind. It's the final stage of love. It's the greatest love, actually. You're letting go because you love them and don't want them to suffer." 😭

Seems like Xfinity turned off my service a day early. Whatever, jerks. Still not sorry.

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but...you don't have to wait for a party or a potluck to have deviled eggs. You can hardboil those eggs, then devil & eat them. Right now, if you want. (I am!) I recommend Duke's mayo, Old Bay, sweet relish, Djion mustard, and smoky paprika!

The Four Genders? (Found this. Too good NOT to share.) I'm a weirdough, how 'bout you?

The Four Genders? (Found this. Too good NOT to share.) I'm a weirdough, how 'bout you?

Alex Haley grew up in Tennessee. He traced his family tree back to his original enslaved, African ancestor, then wrote 'Roots'. He received a Pulitzer Prize for it. Knoxville just banned it 'cause it might make white kids sad.

I'm calling to cancel my service with Xfinity and the guy tells me the reason my service is terrible with frequent outages & slow speeds is because I'm "paying too much on an old plan" but if I just don't leave, I can "pay half as much and get much faster & more reliable service". Sure, Jan. 🤣

Three things I learned today: 1) Pitas, when sliced & toasted, have a texure remarkably similar to English muffins. 2) Frozen cream cheese can be thawed in an air fryer in the original foil. 6 minutes at 260 F leaves it soft enough to slice & spread. 3) Crying gives one a wretched headache.

So, I have cleaned my laptop and beneath the four and five keys. I restarted. They still don't work. I wonder if this is fixable.

Of possible interest to name nerds, if you need fancy names for WASPy characters circa 1960s NYC. www.reddit.com/r/namenerds/...

Kermit, Piggy, Animal, Beaker, Sam Eagle, Rowlf.

You might not know this, but you can get some AMAZING deals directly from @jordanlhawk.com. Just got the whole Whyborne & Griffin series + the Spirits trilogy. What a steal! Moreover, I already put the epub files on Calibre & I'm loading them on my ereader now. www.jordanlhawk.com/collections/...

I was intrigued by a book & when I read the blurb, I discovered that one of the characters has the same name (first and last!) as a dude who stalked me online and perved on me repeatedly. Sorry, book. We are not meant to be.

👻COVER REVEAL AND PREORDER!👻 The Hollow Sea (OutFoxing the Paranormal 4) arrives June 19! Click here to see the cover and preorder directly from me: www.jordanlhawk.com/products/the... Click here to preorder from a corporation: buy.bookfunnel.com/sixyivi94v

It is sobering how much time and mental energy I devote to a product my cats literally shit on.

ICYMI With memories of my daughter living in NYC around the corner from the Ed Sullivan Theater One of the best farewells to the @colbertlateshow.bsky.social As David Letterman signed off to CBS “Goodnight & Good Luck Motherfuckers”* youtube.com/watch?v=eBKW... *in honor of Ewdard R. Murrow

Language is fluid; it evolves. Maybe you missed an update. It matters that you care & you're trying to stay current. That said, if you have a glimmer of doubt whether a word is hurtful, pejorative, or offensive, opt out. Don't use it. PS - You'll never run afoul referring to someone as a doorknob.

The six genders (wrong answers only) Sleepy Grumpy Bashful Happy Sneezy Doc

I'm calling to cancel my service with Xfinity and the guy tells me the reason my service is terrible with frequent outages & slow speeds is because I'm "paying too much on an old plan" but if I just don't leave, I can "pay half as much and get much faster & more reliable service". Sure, Jan. 🤣

The irony of the Buy Nothing Project asking me to buy an annual membership... 😂

This post is for the writers in my feed. If you're attending a writing conference and planning to attend a romantasy panel, what topic(s) would be most helpful / interesting to you? (If you hate the word 'romantasy' or hate romantasy books in general, you do not need to @ me)

If you've ever said to trans kids, "If your mom sucks, I'm your mom now," this kid needs some moms to help with the deposit on their first apartment. I can personally vouch for them being a real live human, having been on a damn gender journey, and actively doing the work for their community.

Watching Shadow Force. Will report back.

I'm directing this post at the cat people in my feed. We've been using Arm & Hammer Clump and Seal Slide for years, but in the last 4-6 months, the color & quality has changed. It no longer clumps or slides, turns into sticky goo. I'm looking to change brands. We sift, not scoop. Any recs?

BIG BAD WOLF is such a good book written by my very talented friend. And I really think you should read it.

THE FLOWER COURT a sapphic romantic fantasy in which a clever young scribe infiltrates the imperial consort quarters to search for a missing noblewoman, only to find herself forced to work with the Dowager Empress’s loveliest & most condescending servant Preorder: us.macmillan.com/books/978125....

Anything by @sarahgailey.bsky.social is always a day one purchase for me. I'd say they're one of my favorite authors in a genre but their scope of work is such that the only appropriate genre is "Y'know, very ... Gailey."

I am SO EXCITED to reveal the cover of my new novella! WE, THE DROWNING is about a drowning death-cult at the end of the world and the boy who'll do anything to find out why his mother joined it. (Plus, it has a pink fairy armadillo ✨)

Happy book release day to @skyladawn.ca! Waverly is back! And being sued. And is trying to hire a new assistant. And is miserable (oh the yearning!). And has to hunt down child traffickers. It's never boring in Waverly's world. Direct: payhip.com/b/zArJd Kobo: www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/...

Just realizing someone stole the little dog statue solar light I had in my front garden. 🥺😢

I just used random.org to pick a winner for this giveaway & the winner is... *drumroll* @chadwickginther.bsky.social DM me with shipping info, please. If I don't have an address within 3 days (by this time Thursday), a secret alternate has been drawn already! Congrats! 🤩

I'm blocking everyone who liked a post that called @suleikhasnyder.bsky.social a "hetslop writer" like please go outside to find a way to contribute to society. Please go buy her books because she doesn't deserve this bullshit on a Sunday afternoon in May.

Went out to dinner in a cute new dress. Got SEVEN compliments. Two happened on the street, one from a passerby and the other? Someone pulled their car over to say, "OMG I love your dress! It's so sparkly and I had to pull over tell you." I'm feeling -fantastic- right now. 😀

*snake oil salesman bursts from 19th century grave* HANTAVIRUS COMES FROM MICE YOU KNOW WHAT EATS MICE? SNEKS! THIS HERE SNEK OIL WILL EAT YER HANTAVIRUS ALL MY VIRUSES GIT ET BY OILS THAT’S JUST SCIENCE, FRIENDS

This dog was a three term mayor of Whoville.

If you've lost a mom, can't be a mom, your mom is terrible, or whatever other complications you have, this weekend might be rough on you--but did you know you can just, like, buy YOURSELF flowers? It's true! No one's gonna stop you, you can just go out and get something pretty and enjoy them.