The Renaissance vibes of them

So some experimentation with the magic goo (leaking out of this still in the Wizard’s shed they have been hired to clean out) indicates that it enhances magic, sort of. Dip a mage hand in it and the magic hand gets big and clumsy and powerful. I thought I spelled it out. I thought I was clear.

“Everybody make a constitution check—“ “Okay, what EXACTLY happened while I was taking the dogs out?” “We got bored.”

Things I yell at my dogs, an occasional series: “Do NOT be a punkass”

It’s a sad day in the kingdom, everyone. My hips have started to lie.

And to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, and will return in Avengers: Doomsday

Oh my gosh, okay, THIRD attempt at posting this without a meaning-altering typo: You know how I’m always talking about how corgis are rotten little shits? This is how they look when they steal your seat and you try to get it back.

I saw someone yesterday complaining about people "waiting until Mary wad 5cm dilated" to do their Big Food Shop...

GUYS I put emmett in his christmas collar 🥺

So, is everybody having a good Christmas Adam?

i had to drop what i was doing to make this

There’s gotta be a special place in hell for coworkers who announce on December 23 that their last working day will be on December 31.

Accidentally took an artistic photo

Look, if you don’t mind your pet being a barky nippy calf-high impossibly speedy tripping hazard that sheds enough to choke an industrial vacuum and is smart enough to frame you for insurance fraud, go ahead and get a corgi

I’ve gotta stop listening to the oldies station in the car, I keep yelling at the song protagonists.

Contains an orc with a knife.

i have said it before and i'll say it again if you must get a corgi, ask for the stupidest one in the litter. you'll thank me later

I think we should call him Evil Don Quixote all the time now

AAAH help I got SLORPED

When they switched us to electronic notebooks instead of bound paper notebooks in the lab, my first thought was that in x years we would still be able to read DaVinci's notebooks, but not mine

75% of my company seems to have taken this week off for the holidays so today is DESK TIDYING DAY, MOTHERFUCKERS

I keep seeing this across my dash and every time I’m like “People think everything has been digitized?!” and then I remember that most people haven’t spent weeks manually feeding things into scanners that were already kind of dilapidated and temperamental when they were new…

1. When I say corgis are short dogs, not small dogs, this is what I’m talking about. Look at their respective girths! 2. CUDDLES

angrily and repeatedly turning up the volume on this calming music playlist so it'll work faster

You’re all invited to my funeral, because even though there’s no way I’m making it through all this cheese in the next few days, that’s not gonna stop me from trying

But what if… Oranges WERE for puppies?

One of my coworkers swung by with a delivery and I called to her to come to the side porch and meet the dogs. I didn’t realize what the expression on her face meant until she said “Why are there four dogs?” in the tone people usually use right before a villain starts monologuing.

Oh haaaaaaai didn’t see you there before I sat down. As long as we’re here, how about pets?

Man, I'm done with the days getting shorter! I am talking to MANAGEMENT. I will GET RESULTS. If the days get longer here on out, you'll know who to thank.

A blessed winter solstice to you all!! This season of cold rest will continue, but as the light returns, may we all prepare ourselves for quiet growth and gentle steps out from under the snow.

He got on the bed, snuggled in, and conked out SO FAST.

I think they’re talking shit about me.

The whole point of being an academic is that you need to be willing to spend three days creating a 700-word footnote that you will later delete. And you need to LIKE IT.

Oh my god oh my god oh my goddddd the local aquarium has three new born otters and they CHIRP

Please buy this if you think it even might be sort of up your alley, I want Ursula to write more Sings-to-Trees so bad.

It is my privilege to announce that special guest star Faithdog is visiting us while her family travels for Christmas

Uhhhh

I dunno, man, he seems to be enjoying himself.

Now here’s a question I am delighted to say yes to.

Pretty empty today but I liked the vibes of the person sitting by the window and avoiding eye contact with everyone. We should be friends. Parallel play friends.

I keep wanting to say something, and I keep not knowing what to say. The trans community does not harm cis people by existing. They are just trying to live their lives, same as anyone else. That life doesn't look exactly like mine; my life doesn't match anyone else's. That's okay.

Nothing - annual state inspection which I get done at the dealership because it’s easy and they have coffee.

I love the concept.

(Re: Boydog and quesadillas) Every. Time.

It’s a hatchback, and I adore it because somehow I always wind up moving stuff that’s 8 feet long.

Sorry Fam, I had to cut this short because my car was failing inspection. Will resume later

It’s aware of its audience

The one that’s in front of him. But he goes especially crazy if I give him a bit of my quesadilla.

In the U.S., only if they’re at least sixteen years of age and can pass the written exam, so yeah in my house it’s just Girldog

What if we just took the cheese wheels home and lived like kings?