Monthly listeners on Spotify Bad Bunny 79,631,000 Lee Greenwood 447,000

YOU DARE BOO THE BEAUTIFUL CANADIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM. YOU PAY WITH BLOOD! YOU PAY WITH BLOOD!

President Trump is considering going to live on a farm upstate

"the girlfriend of one of the founders of antifa"

doing this to Neel from Skeleton Crew

to put this in perspective, i auditioned and got a callback (ended up passing, my agent said it would be "harmful to the doug brand")

This is maybe the most insulting thing you could say about a human being lol

we watched Naked Gun (good) and Nobody 2 (bad) last night. frank's line "i guess old men really are the toughest, smartest, most capable, sexiest beings on the planet" could have been spoken in Nobody 2 with absolutely no irony

i enjoy the brief mental struggle i have when i come across one of these posts without noticing who it's from

Trans rights are civil rights. If you aren't willing to die on the hill of trans rights, then you aren't willing to die on the hill of Black rights. Of Jewish rights. Of disabled rights. Of gay rights. Of anyone's rights. Human rights.

Free healthcare to all residents of the US regardless of immigration status would rule, actually. Universal benefits for universal problems (having a body that can get sick or hurt)

Trump Stabbing Editor Writing This Headline Ringing Alarm Bells

Be sure to come to my book signing! Today, I'll be signing "It", by Stephen King. Next week, I'll be signing the owner's manual to my 2006 Honda.

"recon is goated when finding out intel is the vibe" got a 100 react in the work slack

Day 50 of trying to be hired by Andrew Cuomo

Both Bari and MattY quit their jobs and pretended they were fired so they could promote their substacks. Neither have ever been cancelled or interesting

"Damn, those gifted kids are gonna pay for shooting up my ride" - Duke Neuroscientist

me: look at these cool pants i got in the mail! blair: those look exactly like the ones you're wearing? me:

Now I’m falling asleep and she’s calling a cob

It only happened once

easy, use AI. next problem please

when fidget tries to steal food too many times he goes to jail until the meal is over. he can easily push the lid off himself but he doesn't know it. this is him leaving after

Hey siri let me speak to your father or husband

normal person: i just want a place to hang out with my friends tech weirdo: and shitheads np: no just my friends tw: but what about hearing alternative views on race and gender? np: we just want to hang out and goof around tw: so where do the shitheads fit in then np: no shitheads tw: not following

So Hulk Hogan, why are you a great candidate for the Administrative Assistant position? Hulk Hogan:

When your custom character appears in a cut scene

Hopefully the whole Bari Weiss thing and Ezra Klein thing starts waking people up to the fact that corporate media is mostly populated with mediocre people who have made millions and gained unbelievable influence because they threaten nothing and tell wealthy people exactly what they want to hear.

Ten years and five months apart

LOL THEY’VE USED HIM BEFORE

Choose your fighter:

I would watch this in thirty-minute increments for two straight days

this is my political affiliation now

Hire him you cowards

what the fuck is going on

Okay now we’re really poasting

had a dream about work where i couldn't get anything done because i didn't have a special glowing rock and my coworkers kept saying "oh the rock usually appears in the break room if you need it" and i was like that makes no sense, that's dream logic, you can't run a business this way

feeling seen

about to go see one battle after another and then i'm gonna play cultic chapter 2, ideal saturday

okay so they're arriving on sunday. things are lining up

the white house quickly posted and deleted a donald trump statement israel and palestinian peace deal and had it signed as “hamas” instead of trump lol

What the fuck do you mean I got a longer prison sentence than Diddy

“nearly all 12 apostles” 🤔

fuck yeah, Italy ✊✊