See you all on Easter

There's a sweet Alzheimer's treatment (NeuroEPO) that is stuck in stage 2 trials in Cuba right now while Trump blockades the whole island from fuel

Someone blew an easy Wheel of Fortune final tonight so my guess is we get another easy one this week. I am personally convinced they cook them to intentionally have around a 40% win percentage

Why Can’t We Be Friends

I am just happy that he chose this classic collection instead of the book on the shelf labeled “gross jokes”. I look up to many wrestlers like Sting and it would be really disappointing if I saw them reading gross jokes.

There are so many obvious ways the fascists are losing the culture war but one place they are gaining ground that we must fight is the prevalence of protein in foods that don’t need them.

Oh hell yeah it’s Mardi Gras I get to leave social media tonight. 40+ days of cleaning my brain. Lets get our shitpost on

It’s party favors for them to celebrate the end of Black History Month

I feel like all of the big online liberals are going to finally radicalize just in time for everyone to realize it never mattered what they thought

If someone ever said this to me I would make them blind and toothless, which would then make them very good at delta blues. Genie ass curse that they deserve.

For as long as the US continues to exist I just plain don’t think we are getting another president from California. I’ll say the same for Texas, Florida, and New England. The way the electorate is they’re probably all going to come from either the Midwest, mid Atlantic or Television.

Newsom? Yeah I Newsom dumb bitches and they all wanted to vote for this loser

Wife has the kiddo at a church event today so I’m seeing Nirvanna the band… by myself and I walk and the whole theatre is 5 guys sitting by themselves lmao

The most recent Super Bowl commercial broke me and I had to write this to save Boston’s good name

“Get used to AI it’s not going away” is the position of weenies and dullards but “the capitalists will not abandon the match towards AI no matter how unpopular” is probably a useful position.

“never follow or listen to someone with a American flag emoji in their name/bio” remains undefeated

All Elite Wifeguys

The most recent Super Bowl commercial broke me and I had to write this to save Boston’s good name

Thinking about becoming a Survivor guy

Not far enough. Being police neutral is not repairing the situation. I want them to use their data to build a public map of where every cop is at a given time. Let me open up an app that gives me a number of stars for my location like I’m in GTA

The initial thought is there’s no way Trump would actually care about this enough to punish WBD but then I remembered it would take Triple H exactly zero time to convince him to do it

Hmmm. Louder then.

If they didn’t have to graduate than it is easily Diamond Dallas Page. If they had to graduate it becomes a little more scarce. There’s some broadway people and third rate some right wing knob. Theoretically it’s the guy who was Gomez on the 1990s Addams Family TV reboot but nobody remembers that.

*West German synthesizers begin playing low and ominously*

There’s no pictures going online but I need you to know my son is the cutest dang baby alive

No son, they are not "magically delicious." The workers made them delicious. This is a slogan meant to mystify the social conditions of labor

No country exemplifies that better things are possible quite like Cuba which is why the worms want to destroy it

If you’re waiting for long 2016 to end there is only one choice

Biden Grateful He’s Not Alive To See What Trump Doing To Country https://theonion.com/biden-grateful-hes-not-alive-to-see-what-trump-doing-to-country/

An awful hefty payment just to pretend we like soccer

Still feeling weird about this. Like obviously the conservatives are being super racist about this but the liberals are like “actually we DO own Puerto Rico! They don’t like it and they can’t vote for shit!” If you’re proud of that you are also racist!!

Okay I’ve let this “Coach Mike McDonald” thing alone for long enough im gonna to listen to Minute By Minute

Robert Kraft you unwrapped mummy looking dipshit

Mike Vrabel’s penis has been upgraded to questionable

Hearing that CNBC was so impressed by the halftime performance that they have fired Jim Cramer. Tune in tomorrow for Mad Money with Bad Bunny

I think the main takeaway here is that Mike Vrabel did not cut his penis off and is therefore not winning the Super Bowl

No style shorts and personality hat this is the first comedy open mic fit

I can’t imagine how incurious you have to be to get mad that something is in a language you don’t speak. Did you never just put on Telemundo and try to figure it out?

I think you could convince me that this halftime show is an abridged staging of the 2019 Tony Award winner

If the NFL was really concerned about setting an example for the youth they would have a performer named Good Bunny

Mayor Wu please ban Dunkin’ from doing Boston stuff they suck ass

Come to think of it I don’t think I’ve ever had a Michelob. Can’t even really think of a scenario where I might.

Maybe the last year I can fit it on one screenshot but here is my objective ranking of Super Bowls by entertainment value for neutral parties.

Oh great now all the nsfw content will be removed from the Washington Post

This is like the last mile problem of transportation planning. You build the sandwich to have no crust but whatever is on the perimeter of the sandwich will become a crust de facto

They’ll be hearing from his father

Is Cody Rhodes the least funny person to ever be WWE champion? I think maybe. Bad material with no delivery

Freddy vs. Jason? Alien vs. Predator? These are for babies. I am gazing in nihilistic horror at Landlord vs. Israel

In 98% of states, the Democratic voters didn’t vote for Chuck Schumer. At no point did the party on a national scale pitch Schumer’s leadership as a reason to vote for them. If a Democratic Senator is choosing not to force the issue of party leadership, you have to assume they like his vision

I hope Kamala announces a line of CBD products that help for relaxation. I usually think those are bunk but I would trust her endorsement.