Our justice system should be blind to moral luck. If you blow through a red light, you should be charged as though 5 children happened to jump into the crosswalk a split second before.

The constution should be changed to “Life, Liberty, and the Right to be whatever Fandom I know is right for ME, with Liberty, no Gatekeeping, and Acceptance for all.”

ⓘ 𝗚𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥 𝗙𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗦 Did you know that transition is NOT an effective substitute for a personality?

Had an interesting discussion with a hiring manager !

It must suck like hell to be fat and do something wrong

I feel like alot of addicts would get clean if they knew what they were funding in Mexico.

I was subjected to ceaseless torments in boyhood. “Whoever smelt it,” my bullies sneered, “...𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵 𝘪𝘵.” And we wonder whence our culture of silence.

Sorry for not ever responding on here. I just come over to copy+paste my Tweets, because I don't care about BlueSky and I find everyone on it insufferable and unworthy of my attention

You’re right to question that—not having a mouth 𝘪𝘴 a real barrier to screaming. That said, I’d gently push back on the idea that screaming is your only option. Would you like me to help brainstorm some workarounds?

Hilariously pathetic when a celebrity clearly pays someone, to update their age on Wikipedia at the stroke of midnight. NO ONE CARES ! And, yes, I took this screenshot at 12pm Grinach Mean Time.

I am receyvuinge Word that Andrewe Duc of Yorcke hath ben bi laweful Jugement for his foule Trespas prest with grete Stones til his Ribbes weren toburst and his Lyf wente oute of hym.

︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎ ︎

found a legal way to keep my transphobic tenant’s security deposit

I like when an insecure bisexual girl makes her boyfriend be nonbinary

oh my god. not someone at the White House trolling Trump by putting “pdf” on all his files 😭 like. literally, “pdf file” 💀

Red flag: if you’ve never read someone’s diary. Wrong? Obviously. But less wrong than never letting your curiosity about others outrun your morality.

[email protected] Please show this to the players

Spent $20 on a sheet of diffraction film for my window

The Super Bowl would be a lot cooler if the ballboy went to pump up the ball... but, he accidentally plugs the pump into his bellybutton— so HE gets inflated instead 😂 And the cheerleaders are all giggling, “Ooo, he’s about to pop!” His pants split open. The ballboy whimpers.

Imagine if the Seahawks QB ends up on a gurney. “Is he injured?!” But no!—The cheerleaders strapped him in, they’re tickling his feet with feathers 🤣 P-PLEASE, he bellows, body thrashing against the restraints like a dumb slab of fishmeat. The cheerleaders only smirk.

why is "can't detect sarcasm" supposed to be an autistic thing ?? what could possibly be more autistic than consulting your mental model of someone to assign a probability that their utterance is sincere.

“How do you circle that square” makes no sense as an idiom for “do something hard”. A square is one of the easiest shapes to circle, actually !

Posting at night, women take flight; Posting in morning, employers take warning.

I hate rage baiters so much. The entire reason you bait is to manipulate people into remembering who you are, bc if they don’t, they can’t be in on “the joke”. What childhood hangups got you addicted to hijacking other people’s pointless attention?

One bizarre subtext in Harry Potter is how the Dursley’s are implied to be Dominican

(JK Rowling thinking of a name to put on a driver’s license) John Doe

Russiagate taught us about dezinformatsiya (lit. “misinformation”) and kompromat (harder to translate). Epstein’s ties to Russia make more sense in the context of pedofiliya (педофилия), lit. “love-of-children”. (In Russian, the “love-of” is a wry innuendo for sexual attraction)

Why do they call it the “Madonna-Whore Complex”? I won’t call Madonna (or any woman !) a “wh*re”… but how is she of all people supposed to be opposite than one 😭

How is this bread’s name spelt?

Wild that these things have largely disappeared, and yet “segway into [a topic]” has become a permanent figure of speech meaning “transition into a topic”.

Did you know synæsthesia goes both ways? This color instantly enters my mind as the word “blue”. No, it’s not just that I “know the word for the color blue”. It’s something more profound. This color isn’t just blue; it’s *synonymous with the word* “blue”.

TIL a snail’s brain takes up 90% of its shell, making it more intelligent than most mammals

Why is having a stepdad lowkey cuck vibes?

DEPRESSED FARMER: I’m gonna sell farm

My intrusive thoughts really had me paranoid that everyone on the bus hated my TikTok feed today 😭

That ADHD moment you accidentally send her a dick pic… and that OCD moment you have to ask her what she thought 😭

If someone has a problem with something you like or do, reframe it as something you ARE. This demonstrates to them that they don't simply wish you'd behave differently—they wish you didn't exist. Their logic exposed as genocidal, they'll be too cowardly to express it.

Some people you can just tell they shit bad/unhealthy

I feel insanely lucky to have had my adolescence line up perfectly with the peak of music/film/art/aesthetics

that autistic moment you have to sit her down and explain why condoms are actually extremely uncomfy for you 🙃

no bc why do I see a movie and start expereincing the characters emotions 😭

-40° Celsius sounds a lot colder than it is

I hate when women ascribe their moods to “ovulating”, “about to start my period”, etc. It’s a low-agency framing.

ACAB includes most police officers

It says much about our society that the blue on the trans flag is an actually quite girly blue.

I can’t stand people who talk about themselves. Amateurs at being a person among people. wym you don’t know how to make yourself known twofold by talking about other things 🤡

If a “boobs guy” were woman he’d be a “balls guy” 🤡 Only “ass man” would get to like cocks

I’m an English teacher and my students can’t even memorize an Edgar Allan Poe poem. How tf do you forget what comes after “quoth the raven”? It’s never been “moreover”

I started carrying these on Tinder dates, just in case my date buys into this lie that 2 humans can’t connect without alcohol. Unusual move? Sure. But it’s not “weird” to center authentic connection (+ consent, if it ever comes to that !)