So Glad You Are With Me*

Next time you call in sick to work, why not try using a Withnail & I excuse: "A pig shat in my head", "My thumbs have gone weird", "Randy bull gimme one in t'knee", "I feel unusual", or "My heart's beating like a fucked clock".

"Move fast and break things," say the people who, in an uncanny coincidence, are responsible for breaking the entire planet at a terrifying speed.

i hope the first one works because i just don’t think i can fit a second one in there

Darling, fetch me my bathing toaster won't you

I don't like the death squads

No other word has done more damage to the craft of writing in recent years than “content”. Even if you’re using the word “content” ironically, or as a cute little joke, don’t. When someone calls writing “content” they’re pissing on someone’s hard work & passion. “Content” is Technosatan’s henchword.

Celebrities, actors, musicians etc don't suddenly become perverts and sexual deviants after they became famous. They were always that way, which is why they craved and pursued fame in the first place, and the access and privilege it afforded them.

If you're too stupid to know you're wrong, it doesn't mean you're right. Your ignorance isn't the cheat that automatically gives your argument more credibility.

One guy tried, unsuccessfully, to blow up a plane with a bomb in his sneakers, and everybody had to take off their shoes at the airport for the next 20 years. Chatbots have a collective body count equal to Richard "The Night Stalker" Ramirez, and they're trying to put them in schools.

#Auspol Reminder that Australias Fire Chiefs sent a letter requesting a fleet of water Bombers be purchased by the Morrison Government. He refused, choosing instead to donate millions to a Pentecostal Church. @albomp.bsky.social should buy them now

new invention: secrets and hacks from experts on how to do things: they are called "books"

we need more allies doing stuff like this instead of sharing screenshots of content by white supremacists

Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession

When phones were single use devices, not providing a command line available to users was fine. But phones can now do almost everything. We need to make sure that all phones have command line access and all school children are trained to use it.

The fact that Frank Herbert and Isaac Asimov thought families of wierdos would be running the galaxy looked outlandish 30 years ago. Not so much nowadays.

Shit's gotten so bleak, murder hornets are just called hornets now

We are all dead. We died of Covid in 2020 and are now in hell. It's the only possible way to explain why everything in the world is so fucked up now.

Crikey, I can't wait for fuck-all to happen as always.

love logging into my streaming services that i pay for to see a bunch of cool movies. that i can buy or rent if i want :) awesome thanks its like paying to get into blockbuster

God: I can't help noticing Jesus has Joseph's nose Mary: [laughs nervously] What a strange coincidence

Make a Bond film casual. Dr Why Not You Only Live Nice The Man With the Golden Gaytime Live and Let Live Leafraker A View to a Landscape Licence to Chill

Fuck you people. Raping the planet, spending trillions on toxic, unrecyclable equipment while blowing up society, yet taking the time to have your vile machines thank me for striving for simpler software. Just fuck you. Fuck you all. I can't remember the last time I was this angry.

Tax the fucking billionaires into nonexistence and feed the hungry children

RIP Zoot from the Muppets, who lost his long battle with heroin addiction today at the age of 63.

"Money" is a perfectly valid response to "why do you want this job?". Sick of interviewers expecting me to act like I've dreamt of working at Morrisons since I was a child.

If you choose to buy an SUV/4x4 to drive in the city, you have prioritised your own desires over the environment or the safety of others. That's fine - just ensure you fully understand what that says about you. Don't go around thinking you're a nice person.

Your reminder—

Bunch of AI commercials during this game and can we give Douglas Adams a posthumous Nobel in Economics for his prescience of what was coming?

Solvitur ambulando is my favourite Latin phrase. It means "it is solved by walking".

ACAB: All CEOs Are Bastards

The older I get, the more my politics mature from childish, naïve beliefs like "the world is complicated and leaders have to make hard decisions" to more serious, adult principles like "hurting people is bad and helping people is good."

I wil never take ozempic, because what if the time finally comes to eat the rich and I have no appetite?

THIS.

how much better could the world be if this was real and there was a strong gust of climate change drive wind. The thought of it making me worringly aroused

Indianapolis Star, November 22, 1918

It's not at all staggering just how authoritarian, right-wing, gaslighty and pro-establishment this ALP government is. That's long been the trajectory. What's staggering is that so many people refuse to see it.

When Albo said he "likes fighting Tories" he meant for their position on the political spectrum.

The society-default rule that bullying is wrong is incompatible with the fact that some people really need to be given a wedgie.

I don't want or need a smart washing machine or fridge. I've managed to live this long without needing an app to work an appliance.