Once there was a nice girl who loved him. That was before, when he lived in a scary place & he was always hungry & many people were bad to him. But the nice girl loved him & was good to him. Fido loves the nice girl very much. ... Some nice doggie somewhere is very upset >

I'm not going anywhere. I hope. It's been an adventure. We took some casualties over the years. Things got broken. Things got lost. But I wouldn't have missed it for the world. —Anthony Bourdain, Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly

Someone lost their squirting rose. There's his red nose on the ground. No one's seen his painted smile. He's been gone for quite a while. Something bad happened to a clown. —Warren Zevon

This satire on beliefs get truer every day: "Pastor told church members 'As True Christians™, our children [know]—like canines, Mexicans spend 95% of the day sleeping. For the short periods while awake, they take to pooping on the ground, rolling in their own feces or prancing about bare footed'"

The case for Butch Coolidge Shaftoe: -Has a Plan -Adapts -Wily -Smoky Mountains boy -4th-gen warrior -Women w/accents -Selects the katana

"Whenever I see red flags, I think it's a parade for me." —A member of Elizabeth Gilbert's 12-step group

DANNY SHAFTOE: You all can take the rest of the day off! When Mr Ickham comes back from Charleston, why, you just tell him it was the Red-Neck Ronin & that we went THAT-away! [points his wakizashi west] Let’s head for the hills, boys! _System of the World (Baroque Cycle)

Paste a happy TV theme you like.

There is still trouble in the forest.

DR X: CryptNet was tied in with something much deeper and more interesting—the society of the Drummers. With their flaky & shallow Western perspective, CryptNet didn't grasp the full power of the Drummers' collective mind. But you got it right away.

Sgt Croft had an instinctive knowledge of land, sensed the stresses & torsions that had 1st erupted it, the abrasions of wind & water. The platoon had long ceased to question any direction he took; they knew he would be right as infallibly as sun after darkness… #TheNaked&TheDead

Chevette stood beside the van, watching Tessa release God's Little Toy. The camera platform, like a Mylar muffin or an inflated coin, caught the day's watery light as it rose, wobbling, then leveled out at 15 feet or so. C: We've got to hire someone to watch the van if you want to see it again.

I swear to God, people living 30,000 years in the future are so fucking stupid.

By the time Corvallis got there with Jake Forthrast—Richard’s younger brother—in tow, Zula had already stocked the suite's fridge with milk, yogurt, and a few other staples so that Alice wouldn’t have to go on making outraged Facebook posts over the cost of room service. #FallOrDodgeInHell

HOLDEN: No more crime stories! I wanna know exactly what you know! MILLER: Oh, so you want to talk about non-local quantum hologram, the phase-conjugate adaptive waves, which of course require some closed timeline curves & Lorentzian manifold, &…You catch up, I’ll wait H: So, crime scene #TheExpanse

As a result, this country has one of the worst economies in the world. Once we've brain-drained all our tech & things have evened out & our edge in natural resources is irrelevant because giant Hong Kong dirigibles can ship North Dakota all the way to New Zealand for a nickel... #SnowCrash

oh hey, you commented on my first-time reading of the Baroque Cycle and Cryptonomicon on twitter back in probably 2008 or 2009, glad to see you're still around

Aboard Glory III: RANDY WATERHOUSE: I don't want to lose track of time. DOUG SHAFTOE: Why? Got a cake in the oven? R: The Dentist's due diligence people will be all over me. [Doug shifts position and screws up his face curiously] D: You mentioned that before. What is due diligence?

Lowbeer crossed to the bar. The door slid up. L: A gin and tonic, please. [Netherton watched as her drink rose, startling in its seemingly Socratic perfection] L: And you? [He tried to speak. Couldn't. Coughed. Caught the scent of juniper] N: Perrier [in what seemed a stranger’s voice]

"The War of the Rebellion" As a disaffected southron, I like reading free states' Civil War tributes to their boys who died fighting on the side of the 🇺🇸USA🇺🇸. That is, before half of those states apparently underwent confederization. #Ameristan

It's a good idea to mind your own beeswax.

Weird how Charlie Kirk’s killer is not even a news story anymore

Circus peanuts taste like erosion, outdated wiring, and Kiwi shoe polish.

Climate change is not a con-job. If you want to know more about the evidence for and causes of #ClimateChange, head to our website: royalsociety.org/news-resourc...

Got some old, sour tears back behind your eyeballs? Reading this can get it all out.

BURTON: Got a locked-room mystery on your hands, Tommy. TOMMY: What I got on my hands is State Police. [Flynne heard Tommy say, as she went out into the hall, touching the National Geographics for luck, and down the stairs]

LOWBEER: I’m rather good at complications, Mr. Netherton.

LOWBEER: Extremely kind of you to see me on such short notice, Mr. Zubov. And most particularly in your own home. She smiled, revealing expensively imperfect teeth. In recognition of the historic nature of her visit today, 2 large vehicles were circling thru Notting Hill > #ThePeripheral

The owner of my favorite college bar got religion, piled copies of this pamphlet on the actual bar, and stopped ordering bar or kitchen supplies as Rosh-Hash-Ana drew near.

IT IS TIME.

Trump: don’t take acepitoemponoene RFK Jr: *moth crawls out of mouth* A nude man is in the background, only referred to as “the colonel” Person watching on tv: well if they say so

It was the day before Midsummer when messengers came from Amon Din to the City, and they said that there was a riding of fair folk out of the North, and they drew near now to the walls of the Pelennor. And the King said: ‘At last they have come. Let all the City be made ready!’

With Tulpagenics’ contract signed, she might give notice to the couple renting her condo, middle managers at Twitter. In the meantime, for however many more nights on white pleather, she had her silk mummy-bag liner, its thread-count proof against the porn-cooties of persistent imagination. #Agency

Coupe de Ville isnt your ideal machine for cornering. I thought it was only because the tires were soft, so I took it into the Texaco next to the Flamingo & had the tires pumped to 50psi, which alarmed the attendant. I told him the tires were "experimental."

“Americans will eat anything if it is toasted and held together with a couple of toothpicks and has lettuce sticking out of the sides, preferably a little wilted.” ― Raymond Chandler, The Long Goodbye

Dune Encyclopedia AMPOLIROS LEGEND A pre-Guild legend appearing on many planets, about the spacecraft Ampoliros: Captain & crew of 14 were about 2/3 of the way to their destination when they came upon an abandoned cargo ship. 2 weeks later the crew went mad, stricken by an anticytologic microspore.>

All Quiet on the Western Junt Zach Williams will have tightened up the routine before the deployment.

What I'm wearing to the Rapture.

My book comes out in three weeks. www.bloomsbury.com/us/contempor...

_All Tomorrow's Parties: KLAUS: Mr Rydell, thank you 4 coming. You may call me Klaus. This is the Rooster. ROOSTER: Listen to me! You are now responsible for something of the utmost importance, the greatest possible value. Where is it? RYDELL: I don't know who you are. I'm not telling you anything.

No editing tricks. No mushrooms were harmed making this.

And this is Batman's Aff His Nut by Robert Florence, which, in my opinion, is easily the greatest Scottish poem ever written about Batman...

Suddenly…came a white horse. In the dusk its headstall flickered & flashed, as if it were studded w/gems like living stars. To Frodo it appeared that a white light was shining thru the form & raiment of the rider, as if thru a thin veil. STRIDER: This is Glorfindel, who dwells in the house of Elrond

At Great Smials the books were of less interest to Shire-folk, tho more important for larger history. None of them was written by Peregrin, but he & his successors collected many manuscripts by scribes of Gondor: mainly copies or summaries of histories or legends relating to Elendil and his heirs.

Any concerns that the author of Neuromancer was going to have sophomore slump with Count Zero went away w/the first sentence. Also, I wish my name was Slamhound Turner. Finally, I think I should have used a computer at the library to look up recrystallized hexogene in a soon-to-be occupied city

So here is the 1st gen of the Spaceborne. When Earth was tamed/tranquil & a little tired, there would still be scope for those who loved freedom, for the tough pioneers, the restless adventurers…The time was fast approaching when Earth, like all mothers, must say farewell to her children. #2001ASO

He had to apply 3 times & put up w/a ton of shit, but when he threatened to resign, they gave it to him. The next youngest guy in his class was ½ his age. They mustve thought he was some far-out old man humping it over that course. I did it at 19 & it damn near wasted me. A tough motherfucker.

Call trans opt: received 2-19-98 26:21:37 REC.Log> Warning: carrier anomaly Trace program: running 16 2 008 17 2 337 190 21 0000 58205121 1 3 583 07892 02586 9248 120 582 94 29438 I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of us. You're afraid of change.