If you say "my skin is so dry" people might recommend a lotion but if you say "my skin is so wet" no one will help you

The perfect headline doesn’t exi…

Politely fried tf outta my man

Been reading the Daily Mail call people "luvvies" since I was a child and I still don't know what it's supposed to mean.

Every Labour minister

What a magnificent fuck you to the hatred of Reform and the cruelty of Labour, a message of hope led by a local candidate who actually cares about her community. Love it.

Matt "Good win"? More like Matt Cunt

Need to not get into arguments with Labour bots 🙃

I love the logic here that not doing drugs is bad but wanting them legalised is also bad

Huge opportunity for an alternative that just lets folks chat with each other, it would seem.

It's like watching a press conference from a parallel universe where things aren't shit bsky.app/profile/acyn...

I'm baking bread today. I've never baked a proper loaf of bread before (except banana bread) so this will be interesting.

i will never forgive the techbros for ruining computer computer was the only thing i liked

We obsess about kids and social media: the issues with older people are glossed over.

(btw Nuremberg was the compromise option, hanging them in the streets is the actual hardliner position that I'm warming upto)

Italian voice actor Carlo Bononi was the voice of all of the characters on Pingu. A trained clown by trade, he used a theater technique called grammelot, which consists of "speaking" in a mix of babbled gibberish noises. He improvised all the voices live and unscripted.

I think about this quote from the Luddite movement all the time

Normalise shunning Nazi enablers. Normalise social consequences. Normalise outrage when someone tells you they’re asking shit on ChatGPT. Normalise visceral disgust when someone is bigoted. Normalise cutting people off who either don’t care or are enjoying this nightmare. Enough is enough.

every morning Keir Starmer calls an aide into his room at 6.30am to film him doing bicep curls "leak this to the Daily Mail" he says between grunts. "say that friends of Keir are concerned about how strong he is right now" the aide nods, holding up the phone. it's not filming. it's never filming.

My dog got me a chewed stick for christmas. I appreciate the gesture but I wish there was a polite way to say "we don't need to get each other gifts any more." My cat got me a pipe bomb

This is one of the most beautiful things I have witnessed, the craft here is impeccable.

genuinely didn't know Matt Forde was a comedian tbh

Extremely funny to call the pope “holier-than-thou”

evil and corrupt people are famously NEVER stupid

i think if you use genai for anything, even writing an email, you're both a moron and a huge baby, and i dont want to play your video game as a result. its not that hard!

I don’t CARE if it’s “””technically illegal””” you CAN’T stop me from drawing Batman on the toilet.

Andrea being absolutely solid on trans people, calling the SC ruling on the day it was published and all round a good egg. So fucking happy to see this.

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

Because it’s not getting reported on enough: Muslim fruit shop owner Ahmed al Ahmed, father of two, was the hero who bravely tackled one of the Bondi Beach shooters and took away his gun. He saved lives during a major terror attack. Say his name, and honor the lives of the victims of the shooters

The coming years are going to reveal a lot more waste on 'AI' like this by our governments, to the tune of 10s of billions squandered on appalling nonsense, all to make rich Tech Bros richer.

Have just been reminded that my friend Christina once overheard the following in Waitrose: it’s perfect. “Mummy, does Lego have a silent T on the end like Merlot?”

computer going to take my job? no. i’ll pour water on it

Here’s my Spotify Wrapped 🎵✨

Everyone is getting upset about the data centers. They pollute a lot and use a lot of energy and will eventually be very ugly/huge vacant buildings. And I understand being mad about that. Until you consider the state of the lazer tag industry at this moment, and how much help that sector needs.

People will say anything on here. “We used to be a proper country,” no we didn’t. That’s not true.

"I support genocide" Cop: "that's fine" Surprised he didn't get arrested by a cop misunderstanding what he was saying tbh

[blind date] WOMAN: When I saw your photo I assumed you would be the man *holding* the fish. FISH: [flipping and flopping about on the table] Can we talk about this later.

DATE: Aren’t you the guy who tells ridiculous lies to try and impress people ME: No, I’m the guy who once roundhouse kicked a tree to death

very funny to see the Greens being treated like the official opposition, clearly Labour are absolutely rattled

The 50 wealthiest families own more wealth than the bottom 50% of the population. How can this Labour Government say this is a "cost of living" budget and refuse to tax the rich? They care about protecting power and wealth. And cost of living is a buzz phrase for them. Dire.

I feel like it is culturally important to note that I recently played an old episode of the Simpsons on Disney+ for some kids and then a random newer episode and the kids, unprompted, were like “how come this isn’t as funny?” so it’s not just nostalgia we are correct

My favourite Zoomer is watching The Great Escape and has just messaged me to say, "This film is just Chicken Run," and it's absolutely done me in.

What many politicians don't realise - or want to understand - is that many of the "highly-skilled" immigrants whose labour they crave were raised by the same asylum seekers and refugees they openly despise. They take the racist political rhetoric personally, and act accordingly. Why wouldn't they?

Sometimes Jimmi Pickles gets bored when I’m working and I’ll look up and she’s just in some random place