For anyone fearing feline attack, I regret to inform you that Michael has invented the tank...

Michael is six months old today. I have wished her a Half-Happy Half-Birthday.

She looks like butter wouldn't melt... But half an hour ago I got home to find that she'd knocked a full bottle of (good) whiskey off a previously inaccessible shelf, all over the floor. No obvious ill effects, and I've force washed her paws in case she trod in it...

I'm being spied on by a jay

I'm being spied on by a jay

Morning.

Met this youngster on the Common this morning

Remember to keep clean this #Caturday. Particularly if it's your half-birthday next Thursday.

It means that sheep can now drive her over the River Ouse

In my fifth week at the Premier Inn, and I'm finally granted a room with a wonderful view of Birmingham Crown Court

At the Tottenham Stadium for #TOTNOT as a neutral; the football equivalent of rubber-necking a car crash.

Michael would like to encourage everyone to sit in a basket next to a cactus

Lovely morning on the Common

Learning about sunshine and shade

Being a small cat is exhausting

Michael is learning important cat skills after finally experiencing sunshine

Not sitting in Birmingham today and delighted to see two pairs of Mandarin Ducks on the Common.

Nothing says working away like a solo meal in a Premier Inn with only German military history for company.

Blimey. Through to the QF for the first time since 20 years before I was born. #pvfc

While I'm away, Michael has helpfully alphabetised my ancient CD collection

Lovely morning on the Common

I won't believe it until I see a picture of him with Paddington

Michael is none too sure about a visitor to her garden. Fortunately, there's a window between them.

Back home and reunited with Michael

Tell me something – a small thing – you really really love. Mine is this quote from an interview with Mackenzie Crook about his writing shed: “It’s not a ‘man cave’, there’s no calendar of saucy ladies or beer cooler (although I do have a fridge where my tortoises hibernate in the colder months).”

Working away this week, but I got a quick scritch in with Michael before heading off

Michael adopts a more sibilant approach than Descartes: "I sink, therefore I am"

Be more Michael.

Will it be better than Andrew's 66th?

17th February menu options BROKE - nothing special WOKE - pancakes BESPOKE - Giant Valentine's Pasty (20p for scale)

Unfamiliar dry sky, but familiarly damp underfoot

A bit later on the Common today, and rewarded with a lovely bright morning

Good morning to the enormous lad in my bath first thing

"Ah human, your office lamp is fitted with a cat toy"

Wondering if the vet knows anything about cricket

At four months old, Michael has taken to laps and I'm here for this

Michael wished to ride with me to Birmingham today. This was not permitted.

When you're trying to hide but realise there's a bit sticking out.

When you see yourself on the big screen for the first time

Off to the dentist and I have genuinely been using an interdental brush regularly for several months. I'm fascinated to find out in what new way I am now hygienically inadequate.

After a month of careful study, I have been able to identify the key times when kittens go nuts: - Just after food - When hungry - Just after a poo - When needing a poo - Night time - Day time - Misc

After a month of careful study, I have been able to identify the key times when kittens go nuts: - Just after food - When hungry - Just after a poo - When needing a poo - Night time - Day time - Misc

The Common and its denizens doing their best to lift the gloom this morning

When your kitten thinks she's an antimacassar.

This season's collection being recycled (almost) en masse. There's one still going... Farewell, Twelve Treeslets true

"Will you PLEASE stop taking photos of me so I can snooze?"

Michael has a somewhat curious approach to drinking water - she gets it on her paw then licks it off. It's absurdly cute.

A distant windmill peering over the misted icy Common

Do I (a) Step gently over Michael on the top step, safe in the knowledge that she is but a gentle kitten? or (b) Give up any thought of seeing upstairs again?

"There's nobody under the open dishwasher. Honest."