white republicans are able to rule alabama because virtually every white person in alabama is more racist than anyone you have ever met

Huge dating fail. I said in my online profile I could use primitive tools to perform simple tasks. Date handed me a stick and waited for me to figure out how the fuck I was supposed to use it on the ant hill where we'd met for dinner. Also a larger male burst in and urinated on a bush to impress us.

It would sure be nice if more of our species could evolve beyond “needing to literally have a bad thing happen to them personally before they’re capable of even *starting* to grasp that it’s also bad when it happens to other people”

I think it matters that any "Dem betrayal" or "Dems in Disarray" stories immediately got squashed by the Epstein Files. "Tim Kaine gives a bad press conference" simply cannot compete with "Epstein says that Trump [redacted for taste]"

I just heard a legal adult say her parents missed the series finale of the sopranos to go to the hospital the night she was born and that is not an okay thing to say to somebody

I am reading Ulysses by James Joyce and as it turns out I don't know how to read

Why is it that Australia’s biggest cultural exports are wildly successful children’s entertainment and the most fucked up horror movies you’ve ever seen?

Morning.

They’re calling it the most “visibly ailing geriatric pedophile nazi billionaire” presidency of all time

[revisiting my hypothesis that I actually died in 2020, and what I believe to be the last 5 years was actually just my first few microseconds in Hell]

I seem to have missed a memo today (was working) and am being left out in the cold over some of these memes can u plz explain tyia

Friday afternoon news drop summary

The “Trump blew Bill” thing is advantageous in a bunch of ways but my favorite is that, aside from Trump, it’s a genuinely victimless joke. Bill Clinton doesn’t give a shit if you believe Trump sucked him off. In fact, I promise you the man feels alive right now in a way he hasn’t for 30 years.

Shawshank redemption has the weirdest cultural position of any movie. If you think it’s a bad movie you probably don’t like good movies. If it’s your favorite movie of all time you probably don’t like good movies. If you like good movies you have probably never thought about it for more than 5 mins

accusing donald trump of being gay with putin: boorish, tinged with homophobia saying donald trump sucked bill clinton off: ok to find funny as it actually happened

"Trump gave Clinton Kirk" is a sentence that only makes sense as of like 18 hours ago

Using "getting Trump" to mean "giving head". The inversion of the active and passive makes it stick in your head

You'd think Olivia Nuzzi has beer flavored nipples the way these media men act about her.

you: it probably is not actually true that donald trump blew bill clinton me: it depends on what your definition of is is

Is an announcement coming soon?

This is also why I think people are like "he doesn't care, it won't affect him" are dumb. Trump is like having a massive nonstop stress filled meltdown. When you're in your 40s, four years of this ages you 20 years. When you're 80...

an armed adult Disney fan followed me to my car after they overheard me misidentifying the rat as Michael Mouse six times during an argument

We're all trapped in a really shitty episode of The Twilight Zone

this is a lethal cognitohazard for men who will forward any homophobic joke they see to 900 guys. hey how do those guys vote

For the first time I have a real appreciation of the scope of params, tokens, and scaling for compute costs I had a very rough understanding but trying to parse exactly what loss is (quantified) and where the theoretical min is thought to exist, and what that gets you. Just mind boggling.

Cuomo's stash isn't doing either of those guys any favors

Yeah man lean in on this position it makes you look fucking great

They did an MRE on me once and the technicians were telling me, it’s just the most perfect brain, they had tears in their eyes saying they’ve never seen something so smooth

Sure. Why not.

They’re calling it the biggest crash out in history.

lmao

one thing you should not discount is the idea that if the party is obviously going down in flames, that every Republican he has dominated is going to want to kill and eat him. i am not being metaphorical.

is that not why the ex presidents all attend the inauguration. i always thought they were there to suck the new guy off

honestly prior to today i would've picked Nixon / Reagan as the Presidential pair most likely to have blown each other

is that not normal

I don't think he can come back from this. I don't think an attempt at autocratic consolidation can survive "viral meme about the furher giving an opposition politician a blowjob in a context that implicates him in child sex trafficking"

complete wildcard. i have no idea. i use gemini a reasonable amount and i have virtually no opinion of it

claude is the bluesky answer grok is the twitter answer openai is the linkedin answer

imagine if this one turns out to be true instead of just funny

what we've learned today: if you're writing documents that might be discoverable, part of a historical record, etc? say at least one thing that is extremely inflammatory, very funny, and difficult to disprove. ideally deliver it flat so it's really unclear if it's a joke

Every 20 years we find out somebody gave Clinton head like a comet coming back into our orbit.

8 years of "What is a woman?" and now it turns out that the comeback was "define a child"

I am CRYING 😭🤣 had dinner tonight at a *Michelin* restaurant and the amuse bouche had gluten so my mom and I got "fresh crudite with ranch" PLEASEEEE this is the funniest gluten free item I've ever been served