The back half of the show was unfortunately cut short by a 2kt tactical nuclear weapon

I’ve just made a deal that will keep the Empire out of here forever

microdosing autism with baby tylenol

no, sorry, i can’t come in today. yeah, it’s the rapture. what? no, im gonna be stealing stuff

Folks, we’re taking away Glonzo’s security clearance, he’s been a very bad guy, very unfair

a bunch (like a BUNCH) of us higher ed kids never cared at all about getting an education. this has been brewing after decades of credentialism and ai is only ripping away the fig leaf

just saw a crow eating a chicken wing on the roof of a cybertruck

you cannot kill me in a way that matters

It’s honestly insane that Steven Seagal doesn’t have a cabinet position

what in the cinnamon toast fuck

The sun is hot, water is wet, your lego kit is not actually missing a piece

the tent just keeps getting bigger (disney adults)

hey look it’s the skeleton key to understanding the current moment

H1B visas are a glonzo issue. The number are too small to meaningfully move the labor market around but lots of people *think* they do.

she could fix me

this is a threat

Just watched a woman from the UK try to insist on getting sucked into a running jet engine. Straight past the safety line, almost tackled by a ground handler.

airplanes can fly a thousand miles an hour across vast oceans to deliver incredible cargoes, just don’t ask how they back up

Sup @sentimentbot.bsky.social how’s your day going

Will Stancil dead ass dared one of the members of the admin to his face to come do it and the guy backed down, just saying that the resistance might be made more of the guys that do this than the people who hate the guy who does this

tom clancy could never

yes there are theoretically a lot of people that could have “done their jobs” and prevented a trump 2024 run, but in practice, he would have “run” regardless and dared the state parties to not put him on the ballot

guys, i don’t think it’s fair to cancel jimmy kimmel, the Man Show was like 25 years ago

alternate title: blade runner

Dogs have owners, cats have staff

i like that bluesky has a default “popular with friends” feed because it implies i have friends on here instead of questionably parasocial obsessions

giving my airplane a seat mate a quick kiss goodbye

im on an international flight right now. can i set an alarm to wake me up when im flying over Greenland?

median 2028 dem voter

this is why i will never buy a so-called “automated” litter box

Play 👏 more 👏 single 👏 player 👏 games 👏

I’m writing a new bot that examines the posts you and a blocked account were making at the exact time that you blocked them and passes judgment on whether or not you were justified

KIM KITSURAGI - "What is it, detective? Can you make it out?" BULLET - "if you read this you are gay lmao" 1. "It, um, doesn't say anything." 2. "Transgender ideology. My old foe." 3. [Espirit de Corps - Medium 10] "I think you should read it for yourself, Kim."

We made Etsy witches too powerful

Oh, you’re a UK pensioner? Name five things you hate about children and immigrants

how could this have happened?? what made him choose kirk, of all people??? answer:

Sometimes, if you’re really lucky, when you build an incredible mass of dedicated advocates and fight like hell for a decade, you can convince CA to take the gun out of its mouth for a few moments.

incredible how this admin is laser-focused on finding every single area of the law that relied on good faith discretionary enforcement rather than hard-won civil rights

ill allow this if we can go back to having to pay a single company every month for cable tv

one of the most insane things anyone can post is "i went on algorithmic social media site <blah> and what i saw will shock you". its your feed, my dude! i can assure you that plenty of users are seeing diametrically opposite feeds!!

Is this the first sitting senator to call a pedophile a pedophile?

sharks, today im asking you for $15 million dollars

Never in a million years would I have guessed that so many highly trained and paid professionals have zero interest in actually doing their jobs.

There is literally not enough money on earth to turn every feature of civilization into a “hard target” capable of resisting even a single gun-toting maniac.

At local coffee shop. Unclear if bit

The bravest and most correct opinion you can hold in the US today is “this is all bullshit, it’s more statistically ignorant than issuing each child an individual lightning rod, and we should be spending all this money on teachers and books. I refuse to live in fear”

YOU! I WANNA TAKE YOU TO A

the scene in Contact where jodie foster hears the alien broadcast for the first time but it’s just Darude - Sandstorm