the Muppets have been real quiet since the Louvre heist

People love to ask me about fair use and then don't like my answer.

If your elderly parent, friend, or neighbor falls and needs assistance, please use appropriate lifting techniques if they can't stand on their own. youtu.be/BfUBRdTyQ9A?...

Strongly considering buying a turkey call and being a menace at the neighborhood park.

any culture, at any point in history, could have invented darude’s sandstorm. the fact that they didn’t is just further proof that old times were busted generally

More Halloween costume ideas: - soup goblin - sexy old growth tree - fried potato fairy - witch of the wine aisle - Queen of the Wildlands, dressed in moss & malice

oh hell yeah youtu.be/nGZOFyLrCwk?...

hands up if you are a true bug and suck sap from plants

If Zac be Brown, Chicken Fried in your town. If your Zach be Bryan, ex of Briana Chickenfryin. If your Luke be Combs, Twisters tornado destroy your homes. If your Luke be Bryan, he's the other guy-an.

if your Bari be weiss run in fright, if your Berry be Boo, more cereal for you

Trump take library books. www.404media.co/libraries-ca...

Can we normalize Gamecubes?

well my name's Taylor and i'm here to say that i've taken his member in a christ-approved way

Swanboy is 18+ because if you told a child about Incubus their jncos would grow so large that they'd catch the wind and fly off like a kite.

Madonna wrote "Ray of Light" about Ray Romano.

Last night I dreamt of a breed of horse whose defining trait is that it squints a lot. I hate it and I can’t stop thinking about it.

Bombshell ‘Wall Street Journal’ Investigation Finds Tyler Robinson Once Had Trans Uber Driver

going donald duck mode for 24 hours in honor of labor day. sailor shirt only. i will strut around and cuss out a dog and get so mad i hop up and down and smoke comes out of my ears. i will sit on a towel as well for hygiene

Does a bear shit in the woods? Not without her cub screaming at her.

Dobson's mom is hitting him with her girdle for eternity now.

Good day to see a big moth.

I bought a totally normal amount of dried pequins. Is it dumb to make them into chili oil?

Hot Buffalo Summer

Every time I eat dried apricots I prove that I am dumber than a rat.

Hey, the common loon called. Yeah, it was hauntingly beautiful

These sleepy bees jostle each other for the best spot each evening and I’m obsessed with them.

Pitt and Pitt State should have to play each other every year. They should play the game halfway between campuses. Where is that, do you ask? Of course:

#capydraws #oldies link, punch low. always punch low. always below the belt

Do not observe the toad.

Normal person: It’s a tapestry Tapestry expert: It’s an embroidery! Me, banging table: IT’S A COMIC

Anyone got a video of a hare having the shit scared out of it by a curlew — ah, don’t worry, got one anyway!

Fez!

You know the Kelloggs founders are looking down at this scandalized that their anti-masturbation wellness corn flakes have been seized by decadent Italian nut butter merchants

Marty Robbins's "El Paso" live from Austin City Limits is better than the album recording, even with the laugh.

My latest work problem cannot be solved with a mallet. :(

"I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo. "Haha," said Gandalf, hitting his weed pen for the eighteenth time in the past hour. “Hahaha. Fuck."

I love @nogodsnomayors.com The mayor: embattled Their grand jury: empaneled

Beloit, WI revitalized its waterfront and chose this way to celebrate it: by bringing to life Georges Seurat's "A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte."

by age 30 you should have one friend for every major animal group to spam. seen a good crab post? forward to your token crab person. bat post for the bat person. cicada post for the cicada person. bear post for the bear person. jellyfish post for the jellyfish person. and so on and so forth.

Mamdani making moves to host the Rugby World Cup?!

Is Prince's "Gett Off" the horniest song with the most Sesame Street flute part?

"i asked chatgpt" yeah well i went to the doctor, i went to the mountains, i looked to the children, i drank from the fountains there's more than one answer to these questions pointing me in a crooked line and the less I seek my source for some definitive closer I am to fine

Thunder, staaaawp, you’re embarrassing me in front of my friends.

can’t believe Gen z is trying to cancel Mictecacihuātl the aztec god of the dead and ruler of Mictlan, the lowest level of the underworld

Sorry not sorry annual workplace safety training, I will absolutely never sit in a way that allows for a perfect ergonomic desk setup.

Oklahoma weather icon Gary England dies Tuesday at 85 A native of Seiling, Gary England retired in 2013 as the chief meteorologist for KWTV, after joining the OKC CBS-affiliated TV station since 1972. www.oklahoman.com/story/entert...