POP CULTURE JEOPARDY CONTESTANT: “Reesie’s Piecies” COLIN JOST: Correct! ME: [snorting] Ken Jennings would never

Just learned my best friend only recently learned of the 1987 single "City of Crime": Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd rapping as their Dragnet characters. His ignorance was something of a failure on my part. I don't want anyone to not know about this so I'm sharing it with you too youtu.be/pT_QRKfv8H4?...

Hacks Season 5, Episode 9

People also ask which Milli Vanilli passed away

never relate more to a hockey player than when they lose their stick and continue to skate around pretending to help

Celebrating Memorial Day by diving into Trejo’s Tacos

No hackysack between cars

and yes i do blame the audience. the audience is given lots of examples of good pieces that treat the reader with respect and aren’t tedious acts of performance art. but those pieces don’t drive arguments on social media. the masses don’t want them. they want to yell at each other over nonsense.

the thing you gotta understand about opinion pieces is that what drives it all isn’t who has the best ideas it’s who is most inclined to relentlessly churn out copy that makes them a main character and ensures hate clicks. this is the lifeblood of a dying medium. it’s a kind of self-cannibalization.

American Vandal: Stamford

So proud of my daughter

Love that this message makes it sound like they could start the game on time but just don’t want to

*going to Yankees-Jays tonight* ME [brain of a 20-year-old before the game]: Yeah! Gonna do the 9-9-9 challenge tonight! ME [body of a 50-year-old on a weeknight actually at the game]: Yeah! Gonna do the 2, maybe 3-1-9 challenge tonight!

Now I gotta make two stops?!

Monsieur Jones et moi / tell each other fairy tales / and we stare at the beautiful women / she’s looking at you / no, no, she’s looking at me

ME [a Canadian who has lived in Connecticut for a year and a half, in NYC this weekend]: Ugh, the tourists are back

I see my wife ordered a print for her bathroom

Deck dog

Littlest Hobo reboot

Can’t believe it’s almost Top Gun Day again already

Here's how I imagine Stephen Root chooses which projects to do: STEPHEN ROOT'S AGENT: Steve, there's this part- STEPHEN ROOT: Sure!

*googling* Frinkiac for Kids in the Hall

[Me, with no good reason for opposing this]: BOOOOOOOOOO

Torn between being happy for a Newfoundlander and not wanting a Canadian team that isn’t Edmonton to succeed

@taraariano.com relevant to your interests

Buffalonians are practically Canadians. This tracks

Funny that this guy has the same name as the guy from The Hills! *puts finger to earpiece* He’s what? … And you’re sure

People who don’t return carts to the lobby should be evicted from apartment buildings. That’s the reasonable position

What are kids supposed to get at the ballpark now?!

This band makes Worst Band Name Ever? debates irrelevant, for which Hoobastank is eternally grateful

Love when the cooking instructions on the frozen meal you brought for lunch tells you to cook on high for 3 to 5 minutes or “to an internal temperature of 165°F.” Yeah, one sec, maybe Jane in accounting has a meat thermometer I could borrow

To celebrate the return of playoff hockey, please enjoy my favourite hockey gif: Alex Burmistrov of the Winnipeg Jets watching the replay on the scoreboard and realizing he did in fact deserve the penalty

@davidjroth.bsky.social Favourite (only) story about the Las Vegas 51s, referenced on Extra Hot Great: saw them in Calgary against the Cannons. 51s warming up by the beer garden. Fan asks, “Why are you called 51s?” Player says, “There’s this area? Area 51?” End of explanation. Fan utterly bewildered

There are other jokes I like more; this is one I still can’t believe they got away with

OPERATOR: 911, what’s your emergency? ME: Hi, I ordered lobster mac and cheese but when it arrived, it was cavatappi, not macaroni OPERATOR: You did the right thing by calling. Try to remain calm ME: My wife said they’re basically the same and I shouldn’t call you OPERATOR: We’ll deal with her later

You always knew it was going to be a good piece of business when Homer put on his glasses

Fell down a Siskel & Ebert rabbit hole on YouTube tonight. What a treat. We need to go back

“Somehow, death feels good in a place like this,” Nicole Kidman tells me, right before I feebly reach for the power cord and unplug my own respirator

The first crack of the snare drum during the intro of “Under Pressure”

HOW TO FOLD A FITTED SHEET: 1. Just fold it in half a bunch of times until it’s small enough for the shelf 2. Live your life

@sarahdbunting.bsky.social Maybe the one thing you and RFK Jr. agree on

Decided to go to church this morning

Not a chance. Cannot even fathom how bad the Regal Beagle must have smelled

Happy Good Friday, folks

“not even one of the better-known clowns” now and forever

If you’re not aware just how important maple syrup is to Quebec, I’d like you know that the CBC did lab tests and staged an undercover hidden-camera sting to expose a producer cutting his “100% pure” syrup with cane sugar. Tabernac!

Curtains for Zoosha?

The extra B is for bargain!