that goes double for Denny's "Moons Over My Hammy". it's a two party system designed to keep you weak and afraid

and now, the ceremonial lighting of andrea bocelli. the games are open

i would never "hand it" to the english, but i have been heavily fucking with darjeeling tea recently and i'll just say i can see what they were going for. shame about the atrocities

interesting...

i'm here live on the ground in san jose california, where something undeniably mexican is taking place

the plum - now that's a stonefruit

i hope they explored each other's bodies

apologies for putting south park on the TL in 2025, but it would be a beautiful three birds, one stone situation if this got south park cancelled, paramount sued, and the president embarrassingly mad all at the same time

this is corliss "big nasty" williamson erasure

celebrating pride by watching the my strange addiction episode where the guy is in love with his car

hate when i text someone happy birthday and siri chimes in with her little "i found a birthday, let's add it to your calendar". no you didn't, girl

you take the good with the bad here at hollywood burbank airport™️

the dog in me sees the dog in you

saw someone legit twiddling their thumbs today, a kind of throwback i didn't know was still happening

tchotchke would be an incredible non-binary name

Hi guys it's Mr Beast and I have a few (still rough) videos slouching towards Bethlehem to be born - there's a gyre that's turning and turning and if the center can hold they get $100k. I also trained a falcon to not hear the falconer

chrome should make a chrome that does shut down correctly

[greeting the giant stuffed swedish ikea bear djungelskog as he walks into the bar] skoggyyyy

im scared of horses, if im being honest. they're so strong, yet so skittish and i think i see myself reflected in them

bringing back calling people hippies (derogatory)

the beans emoji has been bringing me a lot of joy lately 🫘🫘🫘

if i say "i'll get it to you in the AM" just know that means 11:53

when the plane has a very low tray table, that's anti-sleepy architecture

RIP to my formerly alcoholic self, you would have loved buzzballs

taking real solace as a kings fan knowing we only made the 2nd most embarrassingly bad trade of the deadline

i know my mental health is suffering when i identify with that balloon guys' millennial hallmark card sloganeering

found the hidden smoking patio in the international terminal at LAX. might be the best liminal space i've ever spent time in. incredible vibes there

nipples are the windows to the soul of the boobs

that these dead shall not have died in vain–that this nation shall have a new birth of woke and that wokeness of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth

well i was still occasionally lurking over there until today. that's enough of that

one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself is to find a daily morning gruel you really like

it feels so good when a dog is named laura

i looooove the idea of a conference like yes cmon let's gather

so there i was, vivir-ing mi own vida...

black friday conclave screening with my mom lets gooooo i love being in my mid 30's

"im 5' 10", if it matters 😏". buddy....nothing matters

[getting kinda hazy voice] uh oh yall i'm about to rewatch the leftovers....

historians will look back on cute lil canned hop waters as one of the most important inventions of the 21st century

not now kitten daddy is icing his back

im training for a marathon and unfortunately it's making me rethink every decision i've ever made

once we're also using this as a dating site then i'll know it has staying power

might fuck around and take two hits of a joint and stretch

maybe we will have fun here. maybe

here with my quaint 27 followers, my favorite people in the world, i feel the freedom that comes from accidentally deleting all of your open browser tabs

life can be so cruel. for instance, i am at work and not at my house eating soup rn

what's all this then