I have absolutely no idea what is and isn't a handball in the Champions League any more.

73 years ago today, Squadron Commander Christopher Draper DSC flew under 15 of London’s 18 bridges, prompting ‘Mad Major’ headlines – a nickname he’d earned by trying the same stunt 23 years earlier. He was 61, basically got away with it, and didn’t lose his pilot’s licence for another 11 years 🧵

Can I just shock you? I like Conor Gallagher.

I treasured my copy of this and it formed the basis of my project, which we could do on a topic of our choice in the last year of primary school.

- Exposed Thomas Frank as a fraud. - Spanked West Ham. A true Spurs legend. 👏👏👏

Only just had a chance to catch up with last weekend's SNL UK, Emma Sidi was sensational. That QVC sketch was one of my favourite bits of comedy in a good long while.

I cannot overstate how completely insane this story is

Me: I voted for Donald Trump because I had him confused with that other guy. Donald Duck. NYT reporter: Are you sure you want me to print that next to your real name and a drawing of you? Me: Yes.

when you realize this is the average median voter, all the online debates about "why kamala lost" go out the window

Overground driver: "Because this train is running late, I've just been told to terminate at the next station but don't worry, the next train is right behind us, it'll be here in just a minute" Me still on the platform 15 minutes later:

Try to avoid writing on sopping wet paper. Tricky for pen to make purchase, runny ink makes it tough to form words on wet mulch, scenes become hard to read without towelling off desk. ‘Dry’ paper (ie paper that you *haven’t* soaked under a running tap for 20 minutes) can be more practical. 🚫🌊📄

For those in the back YOU CANNOT SELF-DIAGNOSE AND GET BENEFITS A diagnosis of adhd IS medical evidence.

you're gonna have to be more specific

RIP.

Mark Selby still being introduced as "the jester from Leicester" even though he has never publicly engaged in tomfoolery or antics. #snooker

Before 9/11 this is what the news was like every day

Never been more intrigued in my life than Giant from Gladiators quitting the show with a statement saying "I was faced with a choice that didn’t align with my values".

lol

My attention has been drawn to this delightful image.

This is the end of an era! The end of Football Focus! www.bbc.co.uk/mediacentre/...

we all know I have no life, so:

It's going to be even worse the next time they appoint Peter Mandelson

Can't talk about other bosses but obviously the UK PM role is a huge job that anyone would like to have.

At least there's one thing left to enjoy in football, then.

We're down, then.

What a goal!

Pop Trivia: In the popular song "The Referee's a Wanker", the referee in question is Stuart Attwell.

Ad written by a six year-old whose favourite food is oats:

8 years ago, I told a story which changed my life forever. Shortly after, an old pal from college asked if he could turn it into a film. So I am DELIGHTED TO ANNOUNCE that 'Me, Myself & Mary' is not only finished, but has been chosen to lead the Tribeca Festival's animated shorts roster this year.

I think Going Live! ending was the first time I knew a show I loved was going away, never to return. And Live & Kicking - for all its strengths, especially in the early days - was the first time I knew a replacement just wasn’t quite as good.

Today in THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING, we always assumed that the dickhead in this meme was Heston. We apologise to Heston, but not to Gregggggg. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING. #Mastertwat

finally a reason to live

One of my favourite things on the internet. I always have to revisit it at least once a year.

Time to break out my favourite ever Viz strip.

I misread the headline as one movie and got very excited for a moment…

went to check out the techno rave outside Parliament and I don't think I have the data allowance to share a video from it but let me tell you: there sure is a techno rave outside Parliament right now, celebrating Orban getting ousted

The world is just memes now x

Nigel Farage invite JD Vance to campaign for Reform

Not sure if the week off next week is going to help, though I did like that US site breathlessly reporting that new episodes for four consecutive weeks was a Saturday Night Live record

Current status of the Strait of Hormuz dispute

My tribute to the Artemis 2 crew in the style of Jack Kirby

In these difficult times, it's really nice of Arsenal to cheer everyone up like that.

Budget cuts at the BBC, et cetera and so on...

"the crew is in excellent shape" in fact, one of them is... STRONGER than EVER. and another... seems to be INCREDIBLY FLEXIBLE... and another...