An "I'm sorry" from a piece of software for creating and sharing sexual images of children really doesn't cut it. When a person does that, they should be prosecuted; here, a company's done it. Criminal acts require criminal consequences.

Oh gawd it's January, which means my book is coming out in paperback on the 29th! Waterstones are doing an exclusive edition with red edges, a prequel chapter AND the first chapter of the sequel, The Hoard and can be pre-ordered THUSLY: www.waterstones.com/book/pagans/...

Wishing New York a very happy New Mayor!

You COULD watch an ableist transphobic reactionary multi millionaire whinge that not everyone agrees that he is a special boy in his stand up special and see if you can squeeze some smiles out of it - OR you could watch the whole of Horrible Science on iPlayer for free www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/epis...

A friend who lives on the coast has already had a swim in the sea today; I'm cold just thinking about that.

If you fancy starting the year with some David Lynch, The Straight Story is on Film4 at 12.50. #FilmSky

Exciting news!!! YOU’RE DEAD TO ME returns tomorrow for series 11 We launch with an episode about Emperor Nero, with the stellar cast of @wmarybeard.bsky.social & @pattonoswalt.bsky.social It’ll only be available in the UK on BBC SOUNDS for the first month, then globally on other apps after

The Co-op sold me all this last night for £3.09. So I've started the year with trifle for breakfast; new year, same me.

@regretteruane.bsky.social Thought you might like to know Angela Barnes (who's a great comic) read and enjoyed your book - from her Insta post today:

First laugh of the year was seeing Charlie Higson interviewed with Nish appearing over his shoulder, wearing '2026' glasses and a bemused expression.

Hootenanny seems to be broadcasting from the 90s - Heather Small, followed by Craig David. (I realise I'm doing this to myself, by turning over to this ritual insanity.)

Land of Hope and Glory is the weirdest, most cognitive dissonance-inducing choice to follow a message about it not mattering where you come from.

Happy 2026! May the worst of your future be the best of your past and all that - here's to a much better year.

I've gone back to series 1 of The Expanse and am enjoying watching Holden deal with a crisis by kicking a delicate and important piece of equipment really hard.

🎆 LIVE NOW NOW NOW 🎆 Join me just to double-check 2025 really IS dying tonight. Free to watch obviously, donations very welcome OBVIOUSLY.

There's a really "This'll do" selection of films on tonight. Feels like schedulers exhausted themselves over Christmas and have just bunged whatever's in the freezer into the microwave for NYE.

It occurs to me that you could drop Brush Up Your Shakespeare right into Guys and Dolls, with Nathan and the guys shooting the breeze. (Nigel Lindsay, who I'm pretty sure has played Nathan, is singing it with Hammed Animashaun, who was a brilliant Bottom in the Bridge Theatre MND.)

Missed sunset proper, but did get some fabulous pink plane trails.

I spoke too soon. Last light, 2025

Thames bridge, New Year’s Eve

Kiss Me, Kate is on BBC TWO with Adrian Dunbar - though not Jesus, Mary, Joseph or the week donkey. Oddly, I don't know this show at all. (I think Taming of the Shrew is straightforwardly a play about domestic violence, which is why no-one would enjoy my production.)

There's been a murder at this country house party (shocking, I know) and the host says, disparagingly "They've rather lost their heads in the kitchen - dinner won't be till eight thirty". Heaven forbid you should be late waiting on people because someone in the house has been killed.

100 years ago tonight: The Writers. Which in 1933 became the Screen Writers Guild. Which in 1954 became the Writers Guild of America. Headquartered at Musso & Frank. "Dinner will be hot at eight. The band will be hot from then on. Reservations five dollars per person. 'There IS a Santa Claus.'"

"Oz isn't just a place, it's a promise." #WickedForGood really made a movie about glitzy authoritarianism based on lies, where "someone has to be wicked, for you to be good".

Available on BBC Sounds, along with AA Milne's The Red House Mystery and a Charles Paris in which he appears in a panto.

Back on The Sittaford Mystery and enjoying the bullying invalid lady who has, on a freezing cold day, just sent her nephew with 'expectations' out to paint the garden furniture.

*Sees unhappy cat with claw stuck in arm of sofa* "Let me help you there, my friend." *Gently and patiently rescues cat from its uncomfortable predicament, with enormous care* Cat (leaving): "I will never forgive you for this, for as long as I live."

Sculptural void cat:

Statement Re: OU Discrimination Investigation Today, my client, Mel Curth, submitted her appeal of the University's Institutional Equity Office finding that she engaged in arbitrary and capricious grading of a student's assignment in violation of that student's religious liberty.

The first two episodes of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy are on BBC FOUR tonight - the older, Alex Guinness version, bit the Gary Oldman.

Enjoying Dame Dr Maggie Aderin-Pocock (could use a few more titles) blowing shit up for an audience of child space-fans in the Royal Institution Lectures (BBC iPlayer). So far she's launched a rocket, nearly been hit by a meteorite, and met a snake! I knew I should have become an astrophysicist...

Suspending Doctors Without Borders is definitely a thing healthy countries do

Living in a remote village has its challenges. You can't get a decent takeaway delivery for love nor money. So the bloke outside bellowing down his phone trying to get a big cocaine order for tomorrow night is on a hiding to nothing. Plan ahead. Rule one of country life.

Documentary on about a Scottish couple who lived with a brown bear called Hercules. This is both a charming story and a bit problematic, given that a) a Scottish wildlife park let two completely untrained people buy a bear cub and take it home b) they got him to be in a wrestling act. 1/2

I think of all the detective adventures Fremont and Jeffries could've had, then realised I've just reinvented Moonlighting. (Which was apparently inspired by Taming Of The Shrew.)

Well, this made me cry:

Thelma Ritter's Stella gets some great lines - she can talk rings around some guy with a broken leg. "Lisa Fremont is the right girl for any man with a pulse, who can get one eye open." "I can just see you now: 'Get out of my life, you perfectly wonderful woman'!"

please enjoy Mabel navigating some of the 31 stiles we crossed today. The first one was just practice.

Currently on the fourth engineer visit of this broadband installation, which was supposed to be up and running on 15 December. The guy's just left, after an hour and three quarters; he left my front door open for the vast majority of that, so flat's now like an icebox.

Dial M For Murder, on BBC TWO now! (It's 20 minutes in, but should be iPlayer able shortly.) Followed by Rear Window at 16:10. #Hitchcock #Murder

The last batch of soup for 2025! Can confirm it's a good one; I got the consistency right this time (but forgot the spinach), so it's nice and thick.

Just got into an argument over who gets the last camel outfit for the New Year’s Eve fancy dress party. I suggested we split it and now he’s got the right hump

Unsolicited writing advice, no. 21727899: You need to care about what you write. Don't justify hack writing by telling yourself: "But the readers will love it." They won't. Readers can forgive bad writing, but never cynical writing.

Well this is making me feel old

Systems at Brook House "completely fail to protect the most vulnerable detainees", a judge finds, SEVEN YEARS after a report showed serious safeguarding concerns. One man was illegally detained there for 168 days - over three months.

As I said recently in The Guardian: "Despite their hopes to the contrary, anti-trans campaigners have not won the hearts and minds they believed the Supreme Court would give them" So they turn to this; desperate, fascistic calls for the destruction of those they hate (framed as ideas, not people).

If only they were college students, the government might be concerned about this:

If anyone wants to try the Gareth and Gwen medieval mystery series, book one is free as an e-book - links to various retailers on the author's website.

I've never seen the film Brazil and it's screening near me soon; your opinions please on whether it's worth watching.

A picture of my wife and I making a beautiful compromise