Don't show this to my mum, she'll book herself in for so much Botox she'll resemble an acupuncture diagram

I have a minute and a half 4K video from when I collected the hire car on my holiday

Thanks Keir, I feel fucking reassured

Took some Euros to the bureau de change in Marks and Spencer and find it really funny that I had to ring a bell to summon the cashier who had been restocking underpants.

MASON VS PRINCESS SUPERSTAR - PERFECT (EXCEEDER) IN A MARKS & SPENCER ADVERT I AM SO OLD

Our bird feeder ran empty while we were away for the weekend and I came back to it’s camera roll full of disappointed looking birds

First group dance 🔎🔎🔎 - Not looking great for the fellas #Strictly

First Tess Daly "Everyone is on their feet" of the series #Strictly

Great thumbnail on the BBC homepage

Occasionally Google will prompt me towards a news story about the Sutton Morrisons which closed suddenly for maintenance in July 2024. www.yourlocalguardian.co.uk/news/2444111...

I have since learnt that this was actually a thing that happened on Hollyoaks just last week youtu.be/rmoQaVDA6ZA?...

There's Dutch late night TV?

The full caption is absolutely crackers… "BUT if you can't afford it (which is the case for most people)"

Nothing to see here, just double Oscar-winner / Annette Bening’ mortal enemy, Hilary Swank doing spon con for MRI machines.

I call it "Michael Douglas-ing" when someone wears a jumper with no layer underneath. Especially if it's in a nightclub.

You may not like it, but this is what Peak Performance looks like

I had an electric hire car for a week in Slovenia and Croatia and I am THRILLED to have handed it back in so I can delete all the parking and charging apps

Mate, stop telling me things. I don't need to know!!!

Mike Tyson made Mr.Beast show a human emotion for the first time

Someone's infidelity being caught on video doorbell is the type of thing that happens on Hollyoaks

I kinda feel like it's a bit phony to wear mismatched socks unless you would, every now and then, also wear mismatched shoes.

there has been an abnormal number of newsworthy coldplay shows this year, compared to the 25 year average of 0

The place I'm staying at only has overhead lights, no lamps, and they're ALL - my weird pet peeve - cool white. Currently illuminating by turning on the main light on in the adjoining room + the cooker hood.

“The Guantanamo Bay McDonalds has lowered its flag to half mast in honour of Charlie Kirk” is some shit I’d make up for a laugh. Alas

A few photos from Slovenia, where I have been out and about this week

The Nigel Farage who wrote this about Charlie Kirk's murder will be furious at the Nigel Farage who made Lucy Connolly a star of the Reform conference

That’s it Sainsburys, you tell him!

They are addicted to these headlines, as if the only person the UK economy affects is the Chancellor.

cba to think of the set up that gets you to "to all in tents and porpoises", not really a pun guy

Doesn't seem right that there were really eight series of Heathrow: Britain's Busiest Airport And they kept changing the narrator for some reason, including Julie Walters leaving and returning and Frances Barber doing one episode. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heathro...

Oh she’s like cooked cooked absolutely incredible scenes

I don’t really understand the FlashScore app’s commitment to being the last bastion of brilliantly terrible tabloid-style pun headlines… but why not.

Well I think it's LOVELY that in our purportedly DIVIDED SOCIETY people who believe this, people who believe "global elites push vaccines as a means of population control" and people who believe "Kate never had cancer" are all hanging out together.

Me when I’m invited to literally any social event

Laughing at this TripAdvisor guest photo of the Citizenm hotel in Amsterdam.

The latest YouTuber moving to linear TV

The finest response I've seen so far.

Don't you think it's funny how this piece of music is almost only ever used in film/tv as a joke? www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AZO...

True, but… if you're making or marketing a new show as a spinoff/"follow up" to quickstart interest from old fans, then you have to expect viewers and reviewers to not grant you the same grace as they would for an entirely new S1E1 if it doesn't match the quality they came for.

#EASTENDERS!!!

"Limited Edition Gender Reveal Cuthbert"

It really is as simple as this. "You can't reason with unreasonable people"

#TheInheritance Oh this is actually TELEVISION!!

lmao

September's Jammiest Premium Bonds winner:

"I didn't even have a stag do" - Go figure!

What's the most amount of red flags you can fit in a paragraph?

I missed this first time around #TheInheritance

If I had to be haunted by Steve Pemberton as Rupert Murdoch then you do too.

I left a 1-star review on this airbnb because I couldn't find the iron.