After this video I'm opening the box of easy video ideas and making them super quick. This one is turning out really special but I can't make another one like it for a while or I'll die

don't poke fun folks, telling yourself this lie is a necessary part of the creative process

men...the bar is so low. the bar is underground. that's right. i built a subterranean bar. fully stocked. and it's for men. mostly mole men

everything bad about the internet, tv, and every single generation is all on extremely stark display right now. only a race of angelic elder millennials who don't watch videos can get us back on track

tried to be a poster but at heart I’m really just a reply guy

yuuuuuup

the fact that Trump is such a bad politician he managed to lose a different country's election really just proves how awful his opponents have been in the U.S. presidential elections

I check the little screen, I check the big screen, I check the watch screen, I check the tablet screen. I check the screen that reminds me of the good times, I check the screen that reminds me of the better times.

Strippers deserve better than having to see Bill Maher when they’re dancing

PRIEST: when jesus was young he did carpentry ME: when my goldfish goes into his little castle he also does carp entry CONCLAVE: *makes me the new pope*

everyone else who has made George Lucas money did so through acts of unfathomable cruelty and he did it by having unerring faith that the merchandising rights to Glupp Shitto would be worth far more than cash up front

There's so much pain in Oakland - huge, festering, dripping wounds and yet so many people judge the people in the city for being in a ghetto - blaming a landmark historical crime against humanity - that still rolls forward - on the victims. Just watch the movie. It's the least people can do.

One of the reasons Bluesky is much better than Twitter, besides all the other reasons, is that the CEO asked us very sincerely not to call them skeets but when we all said the word skeets even more in response to her she did not grow a cold distant Grinch heart

Failed to collect all the time stones.

repost if you

The media doesn't want you to see that it's not a jail, it's slavery.

Yeah used this uncharacteristic burst of energy to play Elden Ring for the 40th time

Nothing worse than when the manic upswing passes and you failed to capitalize on it

love a senator imploring regular citizens to fight back against tyranny. dawg you spent the last twenty years giving machine guns and tanks to traffic cops this is like pushing your toddler into the ring with ivan drago

uh oh what’s the fifth panel gonna be

(studying the blade) ow that's the sharp side

Big ups to chefs for rehabilitating the following kitchen things 1) microwave 2) rice cooker Few years ago people would look down on you for using them and nowadays every professional chef I see is like “yeah why wouldn’t you use them, are you stupid?”

it is stupid to be awake this late in the apocalypse

Tucson, Arizona today. Original projected attendance was 3,000 people. 23,000 showed up.

me: nostalgia is bad also me: bring back mp3 players and electronic organizers because smartphones are demonic

Despite measuring subjective opinions those graphs feel like objective takes on reality. Anyone feeling otherwise would shock me. Does that justify a rightward shift? No, but it's Dems offering nothing or GOP offering comforting lies - which are people going to choose? Classic fascism origin story.

it’s not the whole story but gen z does not have faith in a future or a functioning system anymore, and the democratic party leadership isn’t offering anything to gen z

“not all republicans” YES ALL REPUBLICANS. THEY LOVE TRUMP. THEY LOVE WHAT’S HAPPENING. YOU NEED TO DIRECTLY CHALLENGE ALL OF THEM CONSTANTLY. THERE’S NOT A SINGLE GOOD REPUBLICAN ALIVE

‪ There is a stronger link between childhood trauma & addiction, than there is between obesity & diabetes. Two thirds of addicts report being abused as children. That means the war on drugs and mental wellness issues is a war on traumatised people that just need help.

why does everyone hate my car | patreon.com/lubchansky

The term health food is so backwards like nah man that's just food. That's broccoli. You been eating unhealth food.

People dislike language policing so much, God was like, “do not take my name in vain or you will burn forever!” And we were like “well I wasn’t really planning on it, but since you didn’t want me to…”

Aside from the obvious direct harm, what's so irritating is that a handful of spoiled ignorant assholes are breaking things that we all built together. They weren't content to own almost everything, they had to wreck what little they didn't own. It's vandalism on a mass scale and has to be punished

So tired of having to think about the goddamned president all the time. The president should have to think about me all the time. I should think about my job or anime or whatever I want.

Statement

the fact that this is just a straightforward retelling of yesterday's events without hyperbole

BREAKING: The SEC has dropped its enforcement case against Coinbase. Coinbase spent $46 million to influence the outcome of the election. Now they're already getting their payoff.

someone just tried this

Bay Area - our protest is in Fruitvale!

The best way to increase the efficiency of government agencies is competition, not budget cuts. The Center for Disease Control should have to compete with a Center For Making Diseases Worse

Idgaf I’m still fighting for guaranteed healthcare. Aspiration is the answer. Not just “we’re not the bad guys.” We need something more meaningful than that. I want a future worth fighting for. They have no vision. We do. Lean into our strengths and knock them out. 👊🏽

watching big tech freak out about deepseek

I wish our dystopia was significantly cooler. We’re all gonna die soon, and we’re gonna be lame while doing it.

Not sure I’m cut out for this.

I've built a machine that can be Confidently Wrong. It can also make pictures that all look a bit the same, as well as make a video of you kissing any celebrity or person you know. In payment, I'd like to boil the world's oceans dry, & steal all literature. For some reason, my head is not on a spike

I could accept everyone becoming dumber if we were also becoming nicer (golden retriever-fication) instead of getting more evil